Category Archives: how to change your thought patterns

How Will You Be Remembered?

This has been on my mind lately. It’s been a tough year for most of us.

If you die today, would you be proud of what others remember you as.

There is no doubt you will be remembered whether in a positive of negative way.

None of us want to pass on, but the reality is that life is short. We listen to people talk about how short life is, how we need to make the most of it. And how we need to love those around us especially the ones who don’t have much time left, but too often we let that message go one ear and out the other.

Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life

Natalie Babbitt

You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live. Leaving a great legacy is the most important thing you can do in your life. They don’t have to be possessions or a bunch of money.

Perhaps the most important question to ask yourself is- how will I be remembered when I am gone? When you ask yourself this question, what is your first response? Will others see you as selfish, uncommitted, unloving, and inpatient, or will see all of your amazing qualities- compassionate, kind, giving, and loving? The choices you make now will impact how others remember you.

What Can You Start Doing Now

First, you need to decide what legacy you want to create. You need to think of what contribution you want to make to this world. What message do you want to send with your life to the world and to those who matter most to you? If you had a chance to attend your own funeral, what would you want people to say about you?

We all have a limited time on earth. And yet, we often live our lives as if our time is unlimited, putting things off, thinking that we’ll always have more time.

Based on the legacy you want to leave behind, identity three to five specific goals you can set for creating your legacy. Then for each goal, figure out the first step you can take and start making it today. Don’t keep pushing it off, or else you will never start.

Thinking about this the last little while. When I was struggling with my past and had so much hate toward everyone. I remember when I was suicidal. I only want to die, to put myself out of my misery. If I had succeeded. What a legacy I would have left behind. A poor lady, that had no love, happiness or strength in here life.

I am not that person today, thank God.

I am the loving, kind, helpful person, I always wanted to be. And I keep working on becoming a better person everyday.

A powerful legacy can often be created with simple action. Simple acts of kindness have been known to change lives in powerful ways. Do your part to make the world a better place.

One person can’t change the world, but can change the world around them. Stop worrying about the fact that you can’t do everything or that you can’t do it perfectly. Maybe you don’t know what kind of legacy you’ll leave behind and that’s okay. What you can do is the right thing.

What is your favorite charity? Would you like a tree planted in your name?

Leave behind some legacy letters, to your friends and family that are close to you that can be read after you’ve passed on. It’s something they will likely treasure the rest of their lives.

You don’t have to earn a noble peace prize to have a legacy worth remembering. At the end of the day, it won’t matter how much money you have in the bank, more how great your skin looked. What will matter is the type of impression you left those around you? People will forget the superficial things, but they will never forget how to made them feel. Your kindness and compassion.

Nonverbal Communication Keys Types

Nonverbal communication is colorful and full of intrigue. A shrub of the shoulders and a roll of the eyes allows us to say, ”I don’t like you, ” without uttering a single word. Better yet, a warm smile and an outstretched hand says ”Im so glad to see you.”

In every personal encounter, we send and receive nonverbal communion cues whether we realize it or not. While the world encourages us to be ourselves, there is a time and place for nonverbal cues. When we are at work, it’s wise to take note of how we communicate with both our words and our gestures.

Facial Expressions

The first and most obvious clue to nonverbal communication is a persons facial expression.

Even though we only have one face, it can exhibit a wealth of expressions. From a half smile, to a full-blown smirk, to a casual eye shift, our facial expressions demonstrate a range of emotions. Instead of delving with all the nuances like a quirk of the lip or a twitch of the eye. There are three prominent expressions.

Have you ever heard the quote: if my mouth doesn’t say it my face definitely will.

This is so true where we like it or not, our facial expressions sometimes says more that our tongue.

Smiling- A smile generally indicates happiness or contentment.

Scowling – A scowl or from indicates discontentmebt or frustraion.

Lack of expression -An expressionless face can indicate two things the indication of disinterest or boredom, or a face of disdain.

An expressionless face is hard to decipher, so if you suspect you’re exhibiting what’s know as stone face, it might be nice to poo in a smiles from time to time.

Have you ever sat in a room full of people and just watched their facial expressions? It interesting what you can find out about people just watching their body language.

Eye Contact

People place a lot of stock in eye contact. If you’re talking to someone and they don’t look at you at all, you’re going to feel put off and ignored. But, the fact that someone’s looking down a lot can mean their shy. Someone lacking in confidence tends to have trouble making or maintaining eye contact.

If you struggle with eye contact, it’s the kind of thing you have to practice to improve. Like public speaking, it must be practiced. And it’s a nice skill to have because it allows people to see you’re engaged and interested in what you have to say.

Of course, extended stretches of eye contact have the opposite effect; it can make people feel uncomfortable. You’ll find the happy medium the more you practice.

Gestures And Movement

While our face is a dead giveaway for our moods, the entire body is a barometer. If you had watched a heated debate through a glass conference room. There are somethings you might have witnessed:

  • Frequent and even wild hand gestures
  • Finger-pointing Arms waving in the air
  • Raking fingers through their hair
  • Invasion of personal space in order to send a message of hostility

On the other hand, if everyone’s sitting peacefully around a table you can still note nonverbal communication cues. What if someone has their arms crossed? Knowingly or unknowingly, they could be saying ” I’m closed off to you and your ideas.”

If someone’s resting their hands on the table with a relaxed and open posture, they’re conveying a message of openness and willingness.

What is someone at work is fiddling with they’re pen or coffee mug and not looking who is speaking with them. This could be a sign they’re bored with the subject. Or it may have nothing at all with the speaker, they may be preoccupied by they’re personal life. Either way it’s a signal they’re not fully present.

Tone of Voice

There’s not a lot of delineation in this example. If someone’s volume is elevated and they’re speaking rapidly, they’re excited. Either something is wrong or they’re amped up. But, if they’re speaking in calm, slow tones, they’re probably conveying their message without any cause for concern.

The way we inflict our words also impacts how they’re Interpreted. For example says, I thought you were coming to Florida this weekend, it could mean they hoped you were coming and theyre glad to see you.

The same person can also say I thought you were coming to Florida this weekend meaning why are you here on Sunday evening? You’re late. So, the inflection of your words conveys a message as much as the actual words we choose.

Personal Touch

Remember, when we were watching the debate behind the glass window where there was finger-pointing and invasion a of personal space, it indicates attack mode. Someone’s aggressively conveying they’re out to get someone or prove a point. In this line of attack, someone can also reach out and grab someone by the arm to shock them to attention.

We usually consider physical touch in a positive and personal light. If someone is sitting somewhere crying, someone is likely to put their hand on them and ask them what’s wrong. These signs of touch are meant to be conforting while forging a connection. Someone can give a light touch to a person’s arm as they say thank you.

In any instance, bad or good, touch is designed to strengthen the message being sent.

Appearance

This example is a bit more controversial. We’re taught to judge a book by its cover. We can’t assess a person’s intelligence or demeanor by the clothing they wear. Yet, however there are certain setting one’s appearance does send a message. This is why people wear suits or dresses to work and casual wear on the weekends.

My husband wears overalls to work because he fixes things for the power plant and farmers in the area. But when he comes home he puts on sweat pants and a t-shirt.

Our everyday attire and hairstyle send a message, imagine a woman who always wears bright bold tones. Perhaps she wears orange suits with red blouses or yellow shirts with royal blue shirts. This woman is not looking to be a wallflower. You could probably guess she has a high level of self-confidence.

On the other hand, just because someone chooses tones of gray, it doesn’t mean they’re shy. The might simply prefer a simplistic style. To them, less may be more.

I wear bright bold colors during the spring and summer seasons, but during the winter I wear a lot of browns, grays and dark greens. It doesn’t mean I change who I am, it’s just because in the spring and summer I’m happier. And During the fall and winter I’m kind of low key. Because of the darker seasons I am so excited about the weather but I am still confident and outgoing.

Either way, how we present ourselves to people and situations tells a story. Men are told to take out hats off at the dinner table, put a comb through our hair and wear our Sunday best to church’s. It shows we put a little thought into the interaction. My church doesn’t have a dress code, but I still wear nice clothes, black pants and a nice shirt, their are others that wear shorts to church. The way people dress, says nothing about they’re relationship with the Lord.

Your facial expressions and body language as well as how you dress can send a message. As well as how you act. Their are individuals who don’t realize this. You can watch a person and learn a lot about them.

Book Of Life

The book of life is the heavenly record (God’s Book). Jesus Himself determines whether the names that are recorded in the book of life remain in that record and are supported by His confession that they belong to Him at the day of judgment.

Those who have received Christ as their Saviour have their names in God’s book and can rejoice.

Like 10:20 Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirit is subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because you names are written in heaven.

His book has the names of those who are destined because of God’s grace and they’re destined because of God’s grace and their faithfulness to participate in God’s heavenly kingdom.

When I was struggling years ago, I was still going to church and struggling. I had a wall up so high not even God could reach me. I fought and fought and prayed and cried for God to help me. I was tired of living with the pain and punishment I felt all the time. There were time I thought even God can’t forgive me. Being the stubborn woman I was, I kept crying out to go. It was a hard fight but finally God began to listen to my prays and one day. I just knew he forgave me completely. The experience I had was mind blowing.

Don’t ever think you’ve done go much wrong that God won’t forgive you. He will sometimes take extra work on your side. But when it happens it will be intense. You can get in the book of life no matter what if you start living right.

Isaiah 62:2 reads thou shalt be called by a new name, which the mouth of the Lord will name.

A prophet I listen to all the time, was talking about a vision or dream someone had was in heaven and looked in the Book of Life but she could not find her name, then she suddenly has a revelation and she knew why, because God had given her a new name.

Revelation 3:12 reads I will write upon him my new name. Only the Redeemed of the Lord will enter in.

The Booj of life will be used along with the books of judgment and the final judgment to separate the righteous and the wicked.

Revelation 20:12 reads And I saw the dead, small, and great, stand before God; and the books were opened which is the book of life, and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. Revelation 20:15 And whosoever was not found in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

I was listening to a study on Revelation and the pastor was teaching on purposes. We all have a purpose in their lives, if we don’t live out our purpose. We will not get into the book of life without living our purpose.

Asking Wrongly

You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions (James 4: 1-3).

This passage makes this very plain. It addresses some of the problems present in the original audience.

When I was young I learned this lesson, I alway told people the God never answered “My” prayers, I never understood the reason why.

We read in verses 1 and 2 that there are many quarrels and fights that are motivated by covetousness and inordinate desire. Such motivations are just like the jealousy and selfish ambition that characterize earthly wisdom. What is covetousness except the jealous desire to have what belongs to our neighbor? Is not selfish ambition often the result of coveting another power or position?

These desires were resulting in murder. Some commentators take the word murder literally since the audience was formerly Zealots and not above taking the lives of others. This not probably the best interpretation since the condemnation would be harsh if those in the audience were actually killing one another. The word used for murder can be used for murder here can be used figuratively and such used in keeping with James’ warning concerning the tongue. The murder being discussed here was not being perpetrated against physical life, but rather against another person’s character.

If we manifest the disorder of vile practices that result from earthly wisdom our prayers will be in vain.

It is not until you can with a kind heart and the will of God to come forth that our prayers will be heard.

For example: Year’s ago I was praying that my daughter-in-law would have I’ll done to her, because of the way she treated our family. I prayed some pretty awful stuff. She hurt me so I wanted to hurt her. And my son and her relationship had taken the brunt of all this hate. They were struggling and in turn my son would call me to vent. Little did he know I was praying about. God brought to my attention that I was hurting my son as well as her.

It was not God’s will for any of us to be hurt. So, I switched what I was praying towards her. Praying for peace and happiness for them and for myself to accept my daughter-in-law as the one my chose to love and take as his wife.

Their relationship problems stopped and although they don’t come to visit often. I have come to accept this as normal.

If we pray negative prayers they will not be answered that way we want. We have to pray our will as God’s will. With love and respect if we want to have them answered.

When we pray we need to pray this way:

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed thy name, they kingdom come; as earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil (Matthew 6:9).

God is about love and peace not about anything negative. I can pray for 100000 dollars God will not ever answer that prayer cause he knows I’m going to spend that money on earthly possessions. But if I pray for a person that needs a blessing of some food in their cupboard that is much more likely to get answered.

Be consistent in your prayers. I’ve prayed for my marriage to be saved and it was in God’s timing only. Not mine. I prayed for God to heal my cancer, and I was healed. It takes focus and time with God to get a breakthrough in anything. It has to be within his will.

When we do not ask the Lord to meet our needs, or if we ask him to do so with the motives, we will miss out on the wisdom and all the other blessings that God offers to His children. Do not doubt whether you will receive it. Believe and receive your prayers as truth. Don’t pray for your own agenda. Search your heart and ask God to purify your motives so that you might pray in a manner pleasing to Him.

Hoarding

This is a real issue in America and I’m sure all over the World, it’s really talked about much.

Hoarding has broad searching implications including a substantial pubic health burden it’s linked to occupational impairment, and poor physical health.

In North America it’s estimated 30% of the population maintains a collection of some sort. The practice of collecting in individuals maintain is collection of objects that are generally consider interesting and valuable.

Compulsive hoarding is characterized by the acquisition of, and failure to throw away a large number of possessions

Excessive clutter the precludes activities for which the living space was designed.

Significant distress or impairment in functioning caused by the hoarding.

My husband is a hoarder and it’s a hard thing to live with him. He collects cars, car parts, and wood boxes which he says he can put little stuff inside. Our from porch is awful, I tried to clean it one time and it stressed him out such much that I was going to throw his stuff away. I haven’t done it. I have a friend and her boyfriend collects newspapers. Another who collects a number of things. It a enormous problem in the town we live it.

It’s not uncommon for community public health departments to become overburdened with complaints in bigger cities or towns regarding sanitary conditions and fire hazard risks.

Hoarding is a significant psychiatric problem that occurs at twice the rate of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). For times the rate of Bi-polar disorder and schizophrenia. It has been linked with impulsive control disorders and appears to have high rates of major depressive disorder

Hoarding affects between 6 million and 15 million people in the United States alone. Treatment for hoarding has to guided by a cognitive-behavioral therapy approach.

Historically, hoarding has been deemed a subtype of OCD, new evidence suggests that there are more differences that similarities. Evidence shows it is a stand alone disorder though there are links that confirms that major depressive disorder.

I know from experience That it’s a hard thing for the individuals and there families. It’s seems to me that it is inherited.

My husband tells me his grandpa and uncle had this issue. My husband recognizes the problem but can’t bring himself to do anything about it. If I throw anything away of his, I have to be very careful that he got it long enough to forgotten he has it.

I never realized Hoarding was a Psychiatric disorder until I was researching it to see if I could help people with this problem.

The Storms Of Life

The disciples experienced several mountain-top moments in their time with Jesus. But when a storm hit while they were out on the Sea of Galilee, fear took over. Among the roaring waves with the boat rocking. Jesus’ chosen one failed to recall the lessons they had learned about the power and purposes of their leader. Even the appearance of Jesus walking on water didn’t bring immediate relief (Matthew 14:26).

In our own strength we lack sufficient recourses and abilities to meet life’s challenges, so God provides what we need.

Our suffering is never a surprise to the Lord. He knows everything we are going through. More than that, He’s orchestrating our circumstances for His glory and our benefit, according to His Will.

Reflecting on the purpose in hardship can help us respond to the trails with God. Let’s take a moment to fix our attention on the Lord and seek to understand four lessons. He wants us to learn through life’s dark times.

Our purpose for hardship is cleansing. Because of the our flesh nature and the self-absorbed world we live in. It’s easy to develop selfish attitudes, mix up priorities, and have ungodly habits.

The pressure that bears down on us from stormy situations are meant to bring these impurities to our attention and direct us to purify and guide us back to godliness, not to ruin our life’s.

The second reason we face difficulty is so we’ll be compassionate and comfort to others. How much better is it to help someone you care about through a trial you’ve already been through. God’s work in our lives is intended for us. It is designed to reach a world that doesn’t recognize or acknowledge Him. The Lord uses our challenges to equip us for serving others.

As we experience suffering We will learn about God’s sufficiency. His comforting presence, and His strength to help us endure. I know many times the only way I made it out was because of Gods strength. Our testimony during difficulty will be authentic. For the people in life we come to know we will know their pain because we’ve been through it. What credibility would we have with people in crisis if we never experienced a deep need.

The third, God promises us He’ll provide a path through any trail we face. The disciples probably wondered how long the storm would last and whether they would make it safely to the shore. Most likely, they wished it never happened. But had they somehow avoided this storm, they would have missed the demonstration and of Jesus’ power over the sea and wind. The frightening situation was transformed into a revelation of the saviors Devine nature. God wants to make his power known through our trials, as well.

The forth is the most important thing. He gives us an awareness of his presence. At first, the disciples believed they were alone in a terrifying storm. When they stopped Jesus, their fear increased. They thought it was a ghost. But as they recognized Him, their fear changed to relief and hope. Similarly, we may not sense God’s presence during a crisis. But He has promised to always be with us (Hebrews 13:5-6). The assurance that the Lord will never leave provides immediate comfort, an infusion of courage, and a sense of coincidence to endure.

No one enjoys suffering. But in the hands of the Almighty God, trials becomes tools. He uses trials to shape people into what He intents us to be. He permits us to suffer because He has something far more important to teach us.

Ask God what He wants you to learn in a trail He will show you a entire new way of seeing what your trial and the purpose of why it’s happening. God is good all the time. He always provides for your spiritual needs to help you endure and grow stronger in your faith in Him.