Loving and being loved well is the primary need of every human. Yet many people don’t feel loved. That’s a problem.
The most important thing in life is to learn how to give love out and to let it come in.Morri Schwartz
There are many reasons people don’t feel loved but one is a lack of loving well. We can do things for people thinking we’re showing them love and be wrong.
What we think is a great demonstration of love may not say love to them all.
We might be trying to love them using our idea of the golden rule.
For Example: you wish someone would send flowers you flowers to show love. But then they don’t respond how you expected. They’re polite and say thank you but the joy you were trying to communicate wasn’t there. You ask yourself what’s the problem? You might feel angry if you went through a lot of trouble.
Your speaking you’re love language, but not theirs. Because we’re all different we process information differently, even our perspective of love.
Learn a new language:
To love a person you’ll need to speak their love language. There are five love landscapes.
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
When you look at this list certain people may pop into your head right away. Can you think what makes them feel love?
All of them are wonderful sometimes we don’t just pick one or two. The truth is this love language is true.
To love a person well you need to know their love language.
Words of Affirmation
Tell then you believe in them when they are nervous about something.
Remind them how amazing they are if they are down.
Encourage them to continue when something is difficult.
Acts of Service
When actions speak louder than words. The giving kind assistance and help.
Offer to help with the dishes, fold the laundry, take the garbage out, or women help them with handing tool to them when their working on the family cars.
Calling to check on someone when they live alone, or someone going through a tough time, or recovering from surgery.
Symbols of love and affection. It’s not the cost, it’s the thought behind it. The Gift says I was thinking of you when I bought this because I love you.
- Pick up a souvenir when you go someplace new.
- Send some flowers or give them produce from your garden. Pick up something ridiculous just because you know they’ll get a kick out of it.
Expressing affection with undivided undistracted attention. Talking and active listening speak love loudly.
- Set aside time to spend together often.
- Have a day for deeper conversation on the phone or in person.
- If you are living far away
- Use FaceTime, Skype, or zoom.
- Give then a neck or back massage
- Sit next to them an lean on them while watching a movie or a sunset.
- Play footsie, or tickle monster.
These are to help us, don’t get hung up on them.
Knowing how to love someone is more powerful than the best intention.Alex Blackwell
Communication is one of the major parts of love. Without it a love cannot hold on.
We can learn our love language and let people know what makes us feel loved also.