I’ve done plenty of head scratching things in my life – I’ve wasted many years on my poor choices, putting myself in awful situations, and missed many great opportunities. I didn’t know at the time, I didn’t think about the consequences of my actions.
Thankfully, those mistakes taught me plenty of powerful lessons that wouldn’t have learned otherwise, Sometimes, no matter what you think you know, life lessons don’t fully click until you actually experience the pain and emotions long enough. It’s like walking around the same mountain 1000, times and choosing to do it again until reality smacks you in the face.
The seven best life lessons I learned from some of the worst mistakes I’ve made I will share, but do me a favor: Avoid my blunders and learn from my mistakes. It will enhance your life tremendously I’m sure.
1. Don’t Wait Too Long To Leave
Many times in my life, I’ve wanted to quit, leave, or stop something I struggled with or disliked- but I stayed hoping that things would magically improve.
For example, I’ve stayed in a relationship that I was being abused, despite wanting to quit, and wake away. I hated being in the around them, but I kept thinking if I just tried harder, communicated better, they would treat me better. But it didn’t work.
If you’re stuck in situations that’s bringing you down you have to leave in order to move forward. Delaying or hoping things will improve is just denial in the form of optimism.
Do you really think it will improve or is it wishful thinking or an excuse for inaction? If you were confident in improvement, would you really be questioning things. Generally not. Are you better off then you were a year ago? If not things will not improve.
Looking back I’m glad I tried my best and didn’t quit after setbacks, but when my unhappiness worsened no matter what I tried, it was a sign it wasn’t right for me.
Our egos don’t like admitting we are wrong so it forces us to hang on. But to live a great life, learn to manage and put your ego aside. Stop letting it control you, and you’ll have the freedom to make the right decisions.
2. If Your Not Happy At Work Leave
I know sometimes people tell you “it’s a job and you need the money? There is nothing worse than getting up every day and going to a job that you hate. Don’t stay there, don’t think if I stay, I we be rewarded. I’m not saying to quit, but work earnestly to look for more options, while your working at your current job. There’s no need in staying thinking you’ll get rewarded for staying.
3. Say What Needs To Be Said
If there’s a problem, speak up as soon as possible. Things will not improve if you bite your tongue. If you keep things bottled up, the problem will only get worse, your resentment will rise, and eventually, you will explode at an inopportune and inappropriate way. Don’t think people know there’s a issue, the can’t possibly know unless you speak up.
If there’s something wrong at work open up a conversation with you boss. If there’s something wrong with your meal at a restaurant tell them, if someone tried to screw you over, put your foot down. Lately I’ve noticed that when I grocery shop, you have to watch what the cashier ringing up, and always look at your receipt before leaving the store. There can be price differences.
You have a right to speak up.
The only moments I regret in life are not saying the things that I needed to be said- I didn’t stand up for myself, confront people for their rude behaviors, or let people know how I felt. The reason I didn’t say anything was because I was afraid to have people think poorly of me or disapprove of me. You can stand up for yourself and still be polite.
Keep in mind: Saying something is not about being rude, or insulting; it’s simply about confronting a behavior in a firm, fair, and civil way. It’s about training the world how to treat you.
It might be uncomfortable at first, but it’s worth it. After all, life will never be free of conflict so learning how to handle those situations can unlock a lot of benefits and more peace of mind.
3. Avoid Bad Advice
So much of the advice I got in life was skewed. Many people just project their one insecurities, fears, and prejudices on you that teaches you their warped reality.
The advice giver never does what you want to do, so how would they know? They pretend they know what your talking about and all their suggestions would work perfectly.
To get to where you want to be, be extremely selective of who you get advice from. Ask those who have done it or have coached many others to success. It wasn’t until I started and learning from the right people that I started getting the right feedback.
“Never ask advice of someone with whom you wouldn’t want to trade places.” – Darren Hardy
When getting advice, look beyond their external success, look inside. How’s their character? How do they view the world! Are they humble or conceited? If they don’t align with your values, take their advice with a grain of salt because it might lead you down the wrong path of success.
5. Failure Is Always Better Than Regret
In life, it’s not the things you do, but the things you don’t do you’ll regret the most. For example, there were countless chances I didn’t take because I was too afraid- who knows how it would have affected my life.
The sting of failure, is always better than the pain of regret. When I tried and failed, I still felt proud of my courage; but if I missed my chance, I would suffer much longer, which would lead to more frustration, self-doubt, and hesitation.
Once you internalize the lesson that the momentary pain of action I’d far better than the enduring pain of inaction, your success will sour.
“Courage is being scared to death, but doing it anyway,” – John Wayne
Learn to make your move even when you’re terrified. Push yourself during these moments, remind yourself of who you want to be and what you want to accomplish. Then, put yourself in the shoes of your future self and act in a way that will make that person proud.
6. Learn To Say “No”
I’ve trapped myself in so many frustrating situations because I was too scared to say ‘no.” For example, when Som wanted me to do something- either politely or imposingly – I just said “yes” to be nice and avoid hurting their feelings. (Or so I thought).
Unfortunately, it ended up being a pain in butt and made me resentful, but in reality, it was my fault for agreeing in the first place.
Ultimately, the real reason I didn’t decline was the same I didn’t stand up for myself; I had low self-esteem and was afraid of what people would think of me.
7. Do Damage Control
When your life seems to fall apart, it’s easy to get upset and frustrated about how terrible things are. But in those moments, the most important thing you can do is damage control.
Damage control means taking action to limit the damaging effects of an accident or situation. It means taking a few minutes to calm yourself and then doing something to prevent things from getting worse or eventually turn things around.
Many times I made a mistake, but because of my anger, frustration, self-pity, or guilt. I lost my focus and ended up making a lot more subsequent mistakes.
That’s why damage control is so valuable, not only do you minimize the consequences of your situation m but you also empower yourself and focus on creating solutions instead of dwelling on problems.
If you have a health issue, take action, rest, hydrate, eat healthier, cancel all planned activities, so it doesn’t get worse. If you absolutely must go to work, try to find ways to prevent spreading it. Anti-bacterial soups or gel or wipes. Don’t leave anything around that other people have to touch.
Focus on the best thing you can do at that moment and you will turn things around faster than you imagine.
From Pity to Praise 