Doubt is the mental habit of questioning your own judgement or worth.
For example: Suppose a new position opened up at work that you had your eye on for a while. You quickly sent an email to your manager letting him know you would like to apply. But almost immediately after sending the email, your mind is flooded with doubts and insecurities.
- I’m probably not as qualified as Susan from marketing.
- It’s a lot more work and I don’t do very good under pressure.
- What it I bomb the interview? Then my boss and all the other managers are going to know how insecure I am.
So, later that evening, you send another email retracting the first. You feel a quick sense of relief, but once a course of the next few weeks and months, you’re disappointed in yourself and ashamed that you weren’t brave enough to go for it.
Let’s walk through how to understand what doubt is, where it comes from, and then see some practical tools to help us overcome doubt.
Where Does Doubt Come From?
Like all habits, doubt can come from a variety of sources. And in fact, no two people’s struggles are the same.
For example: My doubt came from my childhood. I had a mother who would always doubted everything I did, it did matter whether I received A’s in school, I was still stupid, if I scrubbed the kitchen floor on my hands and knees, it wasn’t done good enough, she would say I was worth anything.
Childhood doubt can become an issue later in adulthood, in response to an unexpected crisis or stressor like divorce or job loss. Or even from wanting to have friends. “I would love to have friends, but they would just think I’m a piece of trash.” Doubt: So I’m not even going to try and just live as I am.
The factors that cause your doubt in the first place are not always the same the same ones that are maintaining it now. Perhaps bullying as a child caused you habit of doubting initially, but as an adult, your mental habit of asking other people for reassurance is what’s maintaining it.
Common Causes Of Doubt.
While it’s important to acknowledge that many things can both cause and maintain the habit of doubt, there are three causes that show up over and over again.
1. Narcissistic Parents. It’s often said that we tend to repeat the same mistakes as our parents. But it’s just as common that we’re so terrified of repeating our parents’ mistakes that we swing to the other extreme. Often children of narcissistic parents are so afraid of being narcissistic themselves that they go to the other extreme and refuse to give themselves any form of praise, Credit, or congratulations.
2. The Drill Sergeant Theory Of Motivation.
From a young age, many children learn that the best way to motivate themselves is to ‘get tough’ with yourself. Like the stereotypical drill sergeant hurling insults at his new recruits- because then they will make men out of them. (I just had a thought maybe that’s the reason my mother said all those things to me. I don’t really know the reason.) Children learn to be overly critical of themselves as a motivation strategy. What’s more they often develop a fear that without their constant criticism and harshness toward themselves, they’ll become lazy and soft and won’t be able to achieve anything anymore.
3. Learned Deference.
Many children unfortunately are raised by emotionally immature adults who don’t have healthy ways of feeling good about themselves. As a result, these adults praise and reward their children with attention when the children go to them for reassurance. When taken to an extreme, this cycle creates a savior complex in parents and unhealthy dependence in children. Because the children learn that they can get immediate relief from anxiety by asking their parents for reassurance, they never learn to manage their own anxiety and make decisions in the face of uncertainty.
What Are The Different Types Of Doubt?
According to Nick Wignall, a professional Psychologist there are three types:
Imposter Syndrome. Imposter syndrome is the irrational fear of being a fraud or not deserving of your accomplishments.
For example, no matter how far you climb up the work ladder, you constantly feel like you’re not as good as your peers and you’re only one mistake away from being exposed and humiliated. Imposter Swiss a form of doubt because it’s generated by the habit of doubting your own accomplishments.
If you constantly doubt yourself, why would you believe that you’re worthy of what you have achieved?
In its simplest form, self-sabotage is the tendency to undermine your own goals and values. For example, after working successfully sticking to your new diet program for two months, you binge on junk food three nights in a row.
When you habitually self-sabotage yourself you make yourself an easy target for self criticism and doubt.
This is when you consistently struggle to make even small, decisions for fear of making the wrong decision and whatever consequences may result.
When you decide on a restaurant for dinner that doubt your choice you can worry about potential negative consequences, you can produce a burst of anxiety, then after you defer the decision to someone else which relieves you of the responsibility for the outcome and lessons your anxiety.
In the long run indecisiveness only erodes your self-esteem and confidence and makes your habit of doubting even stronger.
Signs That You Struggle With Doubt
Difficulty taking compliments. If you constantly get anxious or ashamed whenever someone gives you a compliment, it could be a sign that you don’t value yourself enough as a result of chronic self doubt. Of course, compliments can sometimes be uncomfortable for anyone, but if you regularly struggle to take compliments and frequently avoid situations where you might be complimented, this could be a sign of a problem with self-doubt.
Reassurance-Seeking. A habitual pattern of asking for reassurance when you’re upset or having a hard time making decisions is frequently a sign about doubt issues. When you doubt you own abilities, it naturally produces anxiety. And the quickest way to alleviate anxiety is to often ask other’s to make a decision or tell you things are going to be okay. The problem is, this teaches your mind that your judgement is not to be trusted, and in the long run intensifies your habit of self doubt.
Feeling Like You’re Never Good Enough. In some ways, this should be obvious, but if you consistently feel bad about yourself your own abilities and achievements, maybe there’s a correlation there. The trouble is self doubt like many habits can become so automatic and ingrained it can be invisible. But if your doubting yourself becomes simply the water you swim in, it’s hard to imagine how you could hope to feel good about yourself.
I lived my life in a ocean of not feeling good enough for many many years. I tell you it was difficult to climb out of that water. But it is possible, I told myself I loved me and that I was a beautiful human being. Every day, plus every time I looked it the mirror, if I seen the ugly person I feel I was I would tell myself “I am beautifully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
One thing about doubting yourself is to always strive to be a better person than you were yesterday. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are here for a purpose. Have the guts to find that purpose and you’ll never be sorry. And above all don’t give up.
Do you ever get sick and tired of being attacked by the devil? In today’s world we never know what is truth or lies.
Does it ever seem like your taking one step forwards and then two steps back?
Have you ever felt condemned in your sins and feel like it not worth the fight anymore?
If you said yes to any of the above, then there is good news for you. Your life doesn’t have to continue on this way. The Bible gives us a plan of action to overcome the devil and his tactics. First you need to be able to identify his strategy.
The Devil’s Two-Fold Strategy
The devil first tries to bring us down by trapping us in sin. If he is successful, then he attempts his accusations. The devil is “The accuser” (Revelation 12:10). Satan does not lead us into sin and leave us to suffer the consequences. He wants the disobedient to be doubly defeated.
In Zechariah he showed Joshua the high priest standing before the Angel of the Lord and Satan standing at his right hand to oppose him. And the Lord said to Satan , ‘The Lord rebuke you, Satan! The Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you. Is this not a brand plucked from the fire? (Zechariah 3:1-2)
The setting is that of a court room: God is the judge. Joshua the high priest is the defendant. Satan is the prosecutor trying to prove Joshua’s guilt.
Satan still uses this tactic with great effect. When you have disobeyed God, he moves in for that finishing stroke. He accuses you. “You call yourself a believer?” “You’re not worthy of God after what you have done.”
Before we sin while he is tempting us, or while we are in the process of dragging ourselves through the mud, while he is temping us, the devil whispers “You can’t get away with this,” or you aren’t good enough, pretty enough, worthy enough for God. After we sin, he shouts “ You will never get away with this, or maybe something like “you should just give up now, God will never forgive you now.”
Does this mean that every time we feel guilt or shame, it comes from the devil? Of course not. God would never tell us to give up. We must learn to distinguish between Satan’s accusations and the Holy Spirits conviction. If those feelings drive us to despair and hopelessness, then we’ve listened to the wrong voice.
The Difference Between Conviction And Accusation.
When the Spirit of God convicts you:
He uses the Word of God in love. He seeks to bring you closer to Him.
He gets you to focus on God and His forgiveness. He draws you to the cross of Christ.
He leads you repentance.
He moves us back into fellowship with Him.
When Satan Accuses You:
He uses your own sins in a hateful way. He seeks to make you feel helpless and hopeless.
He gets you to focus your attention upon yourself and your sins.
He wants you to experience regret and remorse, but not repentance.
He moves you farther and farther away from the Lord.
True Conviction From The Spirit Will Move You Closer To The Lord.
Judas listened to the devil and went out and hanged himself in complete despair. Peter looked in the face of Jesus and wept bitterly, but later came back into fellowship with Christ. Don’t let anything keep you from coming to the feet of Jesus and repent of your sins and experiencing the wonderful, cleansing work of forgiveness in your life!
Before I can answer the question what is Death, first we must ask what is life? By medical definition like takes place when one’s brain and heart are functioning. Yet a person can be biologically alive but not alive at all: breathing and walking are the only manifestations of what we call life. The true source of life energy that allows the body to function, is the soul. And the soul because it is connected to God, the giver of life, is immortal. While the manifestations of life may cease upon death, but the soul lives on only in different form.
How can a mortal being being connected to eternal life? By living a material life that fuses body and soul. Therefore by connecting to God. A person who transforms his/her body into a vehicle for love and generosity in a person who nurtures his or her external soul. It is by giving life to others that one becomes truly alive.
A person for who life consists of material gains, death indeed represents the end. It is the time when fleeting achievements come to a halt. But to a person for who life consisted of spiritual gains, life never ends. The soul is fueled by the inexhaustible energy of the good deeds a person performed on earth, and it lives on materially through children and the others who perpetrated his or her spiritual vitality. Just as his descendants are alive they are too.
We often have a hard time distinguishing between a biological life and a spiritual life, or true life. We are distracted by many material trappings of biological life. Once the soul leaves the body, though we can see clearly see how life lives on, how that soul inspires people to do good deeds, to educate and help others, to live Godly and spiritual lives. It is when a righteous person physically departs the earth that he or she begins to exert the most profound influence.
My father was catholic. He had good values. And it was by watching him and learning from him. I always thought it was him who I wanted to live through.
He loved everyone and would help every anyone you asked for it. He was a kind and gentle soul.
This is how his soul lives on this through not only me but my sister as well.
I will not be writing any posts for a couple of days, I am going in for surgery tomorrow. I have a mass on my artery in my neck, they are doing a biopsy tomorrow and then more than likely be having another surgery to remove it.
Everyone, please take care of yourselves. God Bless You.
1. It’s not about you, it’s about them.
2. It doesn’t matter what they think, it matters what you think.
3. You don’t have to convince them of anything.
4. You don’t need to let them know the truth, you need to remind yourself of the truth.
5. You don’t need them to accept you or the situation, you need to come to your own acceptance of yourself and the situation.
6. You can’t stop them judging. So focus all your energy on detaching yourself from them.
7. If they’re judging you about something you already feel insecure about, then it’s a blessing in disguise.
Life is just showing you what you need to heal within.
You already know your life story. They know nothing about you or what you’ve been through. Try setting yourself a goal for each day you’re going to better yourself. The only one we need to judge is ourselves. If your working to be a better version of yourself every day, every day will be better.
When I let people know about how my life has been. Everyone says WoW, I can’t believe your here. I couldn’t have handled what you’ve been through.
I’m not saying you should tell everyone about your lives and what you’ve been through. But know you can be the “bridge” in some one’s life, to help them heal.
When all we see is the battle’s we need to fight in this world. We become stressed over it, worried, or even feel like giving up.
Remember the Lord sees your victory. When are we see is the mountains we are supposed to go over, The Lord sees the mountain moved.
As we walk through the shadows, and darkness is all we see. The Lord’s love surrounds us. There’s nothing to fear, you are safe with Him.
So when we fight, we need to fight on our knees, with our hands held high. This battle belongs to the Lord. He’s fighting for you even though you cannot see it. Every fear we lay at His feet. God knows we are weak but He makes us strong in Him.
If He is for us who can be against us? For Jesus, there’s nothing impossible.
When God is for us, who can be against us.Romans 8:31
When all you see is the ashes of what you feel your battle has destroyed. The Lord sees beauty. He sees the beauty of a fresh new start.
When all we see is the Cross, God sees the empty tomb, He has risen from so He can live inside you as the Holy Spirit.
So when we fight, we fight on our knees, with our hands held high. Because we know the battle belongs to Him.
So Almighty Fortress, go before us for nothing can stand against the power of our Lord. He shines in the shadows. He wins the battle for us every time.
The Lord died for us, so that we may live. This Promises tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us. We can become a new creation in Him. He forgives all our sins when we repent.
We can start a new life, and people will not know the new you, because you have put the pieces of your life back differently.
I tell you from experience that the Lord can change you, the way you act the way you feel. I was an ignorant, greedy, mean person, who was selfish and didn’care about anyone but myself. The Lord change my life, I am a sweet, loving person who is selfless.
He can do it for anyone we just need to have a relationship with Him. Talk to Him, read His word, pray to Him. Tell Him your deepest, secrets. It can change your life, it did mine.