Have you noticed that people are at the brim of anger lately? One of the reasons for this is that we’ve bottled u too many emotions, we are so good at stuffing things away. We bite our tongues, choke back tears, and try to suppress every outward show of emotion because we want to be strong,
The problem is that all those pent-up emotions don’t just go away. Instead, they just keep accumulating, but, at some point, the bottle will be full. There usually comes a day when, without much provocation, our bottle overflows and often that leads to a angry outburst.
So, why do we hold everything in? I think it’s because we think we will seem weak if we cry or admit that were struggling. Maybe it’s because we are afraid people will think we’re dramatic. Or is it because we don’t know what we can trust? We think we should be able to handle things on our own. Or maybe we’re afraid we will be judged. I think it’s all f these.
So, we may just shrivel up and wither under the bombardment of other people’s opinions. After all the thoughts we have or what others think of us something inside of us dies. We put up a wall around us, that repels everything “bad” that comes our way.
You can get to the point that you don’t share anything because you know what you’ll get back will ‘feel’ like an attack. But when you’ve been abused so often everything feels like a threat.
So, what’s a safe place?
Is it a fortress where you can hide away and no one comes near? Perhaps that place behind the wall where everything is fine. We have to keep up appearances.
Or is it a physical place where you know you won’t be interrupted? Somewhere we can hide away and ‘be yourself somewhere you can let your guard down.
How would you define a safe place?
Mine definitely is, walking somewhere where I can hear the trees rustling in the wind and pouring my heart out to God.
Maybe we need to understand what James 1:19-20 is telling us,
You must understand this, my beloved; let everyone we quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for your anger does not produce God’s righteousness..
We meet so many people want to fix, advise, save or set you straight these days. Maybe if they would read James they would see that we need something that slowed and unhurried in our conversation.
To be a safe person is to offer a safe place to slow down. Maybe you’ve felt it, you walk into a place or see a person and instantly know you can be yourself, and let your guard down. And maybe even put that weight you’ve been carrying down if even for a little while.
And maybe become secure enough to leave or burdens at the door and not pick them back up when we leave.
Anything outside of this may come from and generates a place of stress, or anger, where frustrations leak out into the space and stifles love.
A began building my wall to keep everything away at a very young age. The only time I lowered my wall was when I was under the influence of any substance. At which point I just really didn’t care what I said or did or what people thought of me. When I sobered up, that wall was in place again. It was a very lonely place to be, Yes I kept everything and everyone away from me. Everything I perceived ad bad, as well as the good.
It took me years of healing to be able to take that wall down piece by piece. I began trusting and loving again. And letting people into my life, that I kept stuffed away deep inside me.
From Pity to Praise 