The world is not whole. This reality was paraded in front of me in my childhood home —and maybe yours too.
Parents burden their children’s shoulders with responsibilities far beyond their capacity to bear. Some are celebrated for being “wise beyond our years,” but the secret is it’s because we never got to be kids.
Some boys were taught to “act like men” or that there was no time for them. Some girls were taught that men were scum. Family members abuse, and manipulate children physically, verbally, and emotionally. The very people that we’re supposed to protect us instead ignored and harm them. Trust was fundamentally fractured and we scramble to cope. Alone.
Parents fight violently. They abandon each other. Parents or siblings die. Children are blamed for circumstances that we’re never their fault. Some become a sponge for shame and disgust, and absorb every last insult and punch.
This puts children in the mode for survival.
Heartbreaking realities exist for broken children, that turn into grown-up pain. We grew up way to fast, than our little brains could handle. The result is feeling like we are “damaged goods.”
But, God is intimately familiar which each one of our pasts. Nothing is hidden from Him, especially not our terrors in the dead of night. Yet because of our backgrounds, we don’t act according to the standard script.
If you didn’t have “the right” upbringing or didn’t fit in to all the click groups. You didn’t have a chance to develop “the correct skill set or manners. You either got loud or silent. To say the least I always felt like I was invisible, and thought I wasn’t even from Earth.
There Is Hope
There are Bible verses that are meant to strengthen us. But, what happens when our circumstances don’t match what the Bible is saying, or the goodness of God was never taught? Where’s the hope then? We cry and pray for someone to come “save us” but that someone never comes. After that Satan has to get his punches in. ‘No one cares, you’re not worth it.’
We actually learn to hate before we learn to love, For years I wallowed in my wounds. And I absolutely knew no one would ever understand what I had gone through. For year’s i tried to deny my trauma. I stuffed my grown-up pain deep inside along with all the childhood pain.
It took years for me to realize I didn’t have to deny the trauma. I didn’t have to deny my frustration that I didn’t know what it was like to feel safe or assured of love and protection. No one ever should believe that the burdens they bear overpower God’s Words.
It wasn’t until I was invited to a Christian Conference that a thought “well, that’s kinda not my thing.” But, God showed me something that completely changes my life,
A complete stranger walked up to me, and I swear she could see straight through me. At first, I was “Okay, Run!” As I listened to her and she prayed over me. I felt like a heavy heavy burden lift from me. She told me that it was time to heal.
After 37 years it was time to heal. After 14 years of going to counselors and doctors. Each told me they couldn’t help me. God said it was time to heal -And it was.
God’s love is not like human love. With one small prayer the day I swore would never come and it started the healing process.
God sees our wounds more clearly than we do. There comes a time when it’s time to let God draw the poison of distrust, shame, and fear out of your wounds. It hurts, but it’s worth it in the long run.
The only thing is you have to “fear the Lord.”
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. The knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” -Proverbs 9:10
Don’t for a minute think you are less than anything because of your background. We can all be new creations, no matter our past.
All the things that have caused tears, and pain will seem like light momentary afflictions. One day, you will be whole, and full of hope.
“For our light affliction, which for a moment, works for us more and more exceedingly at eternal weight of glory.“ – 2 Corinthians 4:17.
From Pity to Praise 