Does the lens through through which you view the world lay the groundwork for an optimistic or pessimistic attitude? Thinking patterns can be habitual, but with a little awareness and some time you can learn to replace negative thoughts with more positive thoughts.
This is how I changed the thought patterns and changed my life.
The nature vs nurture separation has been debated for 100s of years, but many believe they are intertwined. In other words, we are influenced by our genetic makeup as well as our environment surroundings.
But there is good news. We do have a say over which thoughts we pay attention to. It may not feel like it, because of our habitual patterns. But with some awareness and some time it’s possible to replace our negative thoughts with more positive ones.
As you can imagine negative thinking patterns can create unnecessary stress and anxiety which can lead to way to a dreary outlook on life.
Many have cognitive distortions in our thinking such as:
- All-or-Nothing Thinking
Thinking in terms of black or white, or in extremes. We either act in a way that we label as perfect or as a failure “I can’t believe I ate so much. I’ve completely failed my diet.“
- Overgeneralization
Inaccurately concluding that one unpleasant experience will lead to a negative future filled with more of them. “I really thought I had that job. Now I’ll never get a good job.”
- Magnification
Exaggerating negative details of an event or overemphasizing your own imperfections and fears, making things into a much bigger deal than they actually are. “I fumbled over my words in front of all those people. They must think I’m a complete idiot.”
- Emotional Reasoning
Believing that how you feel accurately represents the truth of your reality. “I feel so anxious and stressed out lately, which means my problems are worse than I think.”
- Should Statements
Using should statements to motivate behavior when they ultimately leave you feeling frustrated. “I should work out after eating all that food.” “I should start eating healthier.”
There are two common thinking patterns we generally have. They are:
- Negative Rumination
Continuously focusing on negative outcomes, leading to feelings of feeling stuck, anxious, or depressed.
- Overthinking
Trying to think of a plan for every possible outcome, essentially attempting to control that which is out of our control, and effort to avoid pain or failure.
So, how do you get you out of these negative thinking patterns and replace them with more positive thoughts? Here are a few strategies.
1. Practice Mindfulness
In order to have more positive thinking patterns, we must first become more aware of our current ways of thinking. By practicing mindfulness, we can acknowledge and identify thinking patterns that have become habitual. And decide whether or not to engage them. Mindfulness creates distance between yourself and your thoughts, which allows you to view yourself as separate from them.
If we incorporate mindfulness into our day, sitting for a few minutes and gradually increase it with practice we will be able to redirect our focus.
2. Address Your Inner Critic
Our inner critic loves, convincing us, that they simply aren’t true, often making us feel pretty lousy about ourselves. Think of this voice was a separate part of you. Challenge the lies it tries to feed you. Ask yourself; Is that really true? Where is the evidence to back that up?
Another way is to thank your inner voice for its input but then tell it No. Then choose not to engage in those negative thoughts.
3. Know Your Triggers
Certain people, situation, or circumstances may set into motion more negative thoughts. So it’s important to be aware of them. Encounters with certain people or making certain decisions may cause you to become overly critical of yourself or to question your self-worth. When you become aware of your triggers, you can prepare yourself and feel more in control of your thoughts instead of falling back into old negative thinking patterns.
4. Write It Out
You all know I’m a big fan of writing every thing down, especially your feelings. Putting feelings down on paper is a great way to unload your thoughts but to learn more about them. (you can alway throw the paper away after). Often we aren’t aware of how negative our thoughts are. Negative thinking patterns become more negative over time without us even noticing. But, by writing them down, we can more easily identify the areas that require our attention. We can interrogate them once they are written on paper to see if they are accurate or have any bearing. If they are not, let them go or replace them with more positive thinking.
5. Recite Positive Affirmations
Reciting positive affirmations is a great way to pull yourself out under the negative thoughts and into the present moment. You can do this y just thinking of them or saying them out loud to yourself. These can be recites when you feel negativity creeping in or throughout the day I order to get into the habit of focusing on them.
I use the biblical ones like these:
Or you can use these:
6. Change Your Surroundings
Sometimes our thoughts and seems so loud, but the best thing we can do is change our physical surroundings. Take a walk in nature, talk to a friend. The point is to engage in something other that the negative cycle so you can come back to the negative pattern when you’re mind is clearer.
Choose an activity or a location that you will find enjoyable and you know we’ll leave you feeling better. If you need company, be sure to surround yourself with people who will encourage your positive thinking, but stay away from people who trigger you.
Negative thinking patterns, particularly when they become habitual, can be hard to break. Patterns that have been in place for years. Won’t be undone overnight so it’s essential to be compassionate and patient with yourself as you work through them.
From Pity to Praise 