If you know someone who’s difficult and causes a lot of conflict in your life, you may be dealing with a person who is toxic. These people an create a lot of stress and unpleasantness for you and others not to mention emotional or physical pain. I’m sure we have all met people who are toxic or been told about them.
A toxic person is anyone who’s behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. Todo this, they act in ways that don’t present then in the best light and usually others along the way. Some might even recognize family members who are toxic.
Toxicity in people isn’t considered a mental disorder. But there could be underlying mental problems that causes someone to act in toxic ways, including personality disorders.
Sometimes we tend to just accommodate toxic people, until it becomes a serious matter of mental or physical abuse or just think that’s just the way they are. I thought I would share some warning signs to watch out for if you think you’re dealing with a toxic person. Life is to short to accept toxic people into our lives. If you can help it, try and shy away from people like this.
- You feel like you’re being manipulated Into something you don’t want to do.
- You are constantly confused by the person’s behavior.
- You feel like you deserve an apology that never comes.
- You always have to defend yourself around this person.
- You continually feed bad about yourself in their presence.
If you’ve experienced these feelings around someone, they may be toxic. If you constantly have these emotions, you may want to change the relationship or stop the relationship entirely.
Just like there are signs you’re around a toxic person because of how the person makes you feel, there are sign seen in person themselves that highlight their toxicity.
Inconsistency
Part of being human is having ups and downs, good times, and bad times. But a toxic person is almost never consistent. Their behavior is erratic. They don’t follow through on their commitments or promises. You never know what they will do next. This inconsistency is very hard when you’re trying to be there for someone. They can be elated with you one minute, and write you off the next.
They Always Need Your Attention
Have you noticed that a person who always need something from you? Whether it’s constant phone calls, texts, or showing up at your door, they always need emotional support. And they’re probably not being supportive to you in return. They take all that you have without giving much back. They have a heightened level of self-interest, a need to showcase their own greatness to receive affirmation.
There Is Always Drama
Have you ever noticed how drama seems to follow some people? It’s likely not a coincidence. Toxic people thrive in dramatic environments. They inflame emotions and create conflict. They love stirring the pot to see what happens. People are often toxic because they’re not interested in being stable and healthy relationships.
They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
Another sign of a toxic person is no boundaries. If you have been clear with someone time and time again about your needs, and they just can’t help themselves and disrespect them, they are toxic. Healthy relationships are based on trust and the ability to respect boundaries. Toxic people just can’t do that,
They Manipulate Others For What They Need
If your around someone and constantly feel taken advantage of, or manipulated your probably dealing with a toxic person. This means they will do anything to get what they need. This means lying, bending the truth, exaggerating, or leaving out information so that you take a certain action or have a certain opinion about them. They will do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting people.
They Abuse Substances
Another toxic behavior is the abuse of substances, like drugs and alcohol. These behaviors become toxic when the person is continually harming other people, including themselves.
Now that you know the signs of a toxic person, both in the way you feel and they act, whether they’re a family member or not. What do you do about it?
Here are a few things I’ve learned over the years. These are a few strategies to try.
Confront Them
As soon as you notice toxic behaviors, call them out on any lies or inconsistencies. Tell them you don’t appreciate how they behave. This shows them that you’re paying attention. And your giving them an opportunity to explain themselves and apologize.
Set Stricter Boundaries
If you can not get away from toxic people in your life, try to set stricter boundaries. For example m if someone is abusing substances let them know you won’t see them u less they are sober. Or make it clear you won’t tolerate their overly dramatic behavior. Limit the time you spend with them.
Cut Them Out Of Your Life
I have a family member that is toxic, I can’t get away from them. But I restrict the amount of time I have to spend with them. At family get togethers I spend the least amount of time I have to with them. If I get overly stressed I go outside and take a walk or call a friend.
No one like spending time with toxic people who stress them out or cause them pain. I hope this gives you a few strategies that will help you cope.
From Pity to Praise 