What is your first response when someone hurts you? Maybe you immediately become angry and want to retaliate. Or perhaps you outward expression doesn’t change, but inside you begin to quietly nurse bitterness. Being nurt by someone, particularly someone you love and trust, causes sadness and confusion. The more you dwell on hurtful situations or event, grudges filled with resentment and hostility can take root.
Unforgiveness can be defined psychologically as the emotional imbalance due to delayed response towards a transgressor. However, the expression of anger, hatred, frustration or violence depends on the mental state of a person. Studies show that unforgiveness is a type of stress response that has a direct impact on the mental and psychology of a person. unforgiveness provokes a person to respond intensely with ultimate impacts on social and cognitive behavior. People who have delayed expressing to trauma cannot interact with other people well. Trauma caused by unforgiveness impacts communication skills, abilities thinking, and decision making power.
It is thought to believe that the negative effects of unforgiveness are similar to those of interpersonal mental trauma. The human brain when suffering from a trauma goes into a hyperactive state when can cause hormonal imbalance.
When Unforgiveness goes unaddressed delayed negative emotions can cause a number of long term mental health problems. Depression is one of them. unexpressed emotions that are formed from Unforgiveness causes this type depression to be more dangerous than other forms. Studies show that Unforgiveness not only causes mental problems but physical problems as well.
Unforgiveness almost cost me my life, my marriage, my children, and my health. I attempted suicide many times, suffered from horrible depression, had stomach problems, unbearable headaches, joint pain, and cancer.
When we choose Unforgiveness it doesn’t hurt the person/people who hurt us, we hurt ourselves.
It took me over 15 years to realize what I was doing to myself and those closest to me.
Unforgiveness is spiritually destructive because it’s contrary to God’s will and effects our emotions, thoughts, and relationships. Scripture is clear that we are to forgive anyone who causes us harm, because we ourselves have been forgiven by God. The grace God pours out on each of us should be our motivation to extend grace to others.
Forgiveness involves a total change of attitude and action. When we give up resentment toward someone and relinquish the desire for revenge, we begin to heal from the inside out. In our own strength it is impossible, but if instead of rehearsing our hurts, we ask the Lord to change us and forgive us, He can begin to fill us with the power to forgive others.
When I did this, God transformed my heart. While I have no more stomach issues, and was cured of cancer after a long battle. I still suffer from joint pain, and reoccurring headaches. My life has improved tremendously. But looking back I am regretful I didn’t realize any of the issues that Unforgiveness caused me. I have had to come to grips with the years I’ve wasted by not forgiving my mother, and all that I’ve lost because of my refusal to do so. But, I am thankful for my time I have left. And looking forward to a beautiful life ahead.
My advice is not wait to seek a life of forgiveness. Unforgiveness is a destroyer of life, and life is too short as is it. Don’t waste it.
From Pity to Praise 