Accountability today is placed in all the wrong places, especially today. Blaming others is easy to do and takes all the stress off us.
If we were such a… I wouldn’t be acting this way
If you would have shown me more respect, I would have given more effort.
It’s your fault I feel this way.
All of the statements reflect someone else being the issue. When we think or say these like this we reflect someone else is the issue. We don’t take responsibility for ourselves or our actions. It’s my dog ate my homework kinda stuff.
Blame holds other people responsible for our pain and frustration. When it’s someone else’s fault for how we feel then we don’t need to own anything.
A blamer expects that other people should change to suit them.
I hate to admit it, but there was a time when I blamed everyone else for how I feeling. Taking responsibility changed my life.
Blame makes us victims which leads to us being depressed and gives the other power over our happiness. The number one rule of not falling into this trap is NEVER!!! blame people for how you act, or feel.
When we blame people we might think we are pressuring people enough they will change to suit our thinking. Whether it’s done in silence or speaking it out loud.
This kind of thinking means people are stuck in the blame trap. This trap doesn’t allow people to see their contribution to the situation or at least the fact that they can own how they are reacting. No one makes us angry -we choose to be angry.
Blaming others is toxic behavior that damages relationships and productivity in life.
One way this happens is by finding fault with another person or group and then transferring responsibility to that person or group, both by using criticism, accusation, punishment, and humiliation. Then uses these behaviors in four ways:
1. Changes someone’s behavior
2. Vents a feeling
3. Escapes personal responsibility and
4. Protect ourselves
Which makes it a zero-sum game -If you win I lose.
By aiming toward the absence of blame and connecting the win/lose attitude. We become more pleasant to be around and makes us more efficient.
Blame thrives in environments where commitment and obligation are crucial. Without ownership of our actions, and feelings there is little resolution that occurs.
It’s far more useful to be aware of shortcomings in ourselves than it is to be aware of a thousand in someone else..
From Pity to Praise 