For most of my life, I struggled with my emotions. I felt things so deeply which left me feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed. I struggled with overthinking all the time.
After years of struggling, I finally learned how to control my thoughts and manage my emotions. I stopped feeling overwhelmed all the time. I got out of the spiral into the pit of despair. I could cope better when life didn’t go how I had planned.
There are those with a higher degree of emotional resilience who can handle the stresses that come with daily life effectively and calmly. That was not me. I had to learn this trait.
Emotional resilience can be developed with some effort and practice. If you know what to do, you can become more resilient, even if you are naturally more sensitive to lives difficulties.
Emotional resilience is not a quality that you either do or do not possess, there are varying degrees of how well a person can handle stress. However, there are specific characteristics that resilient people tend to share. Some main characteristics are,
Emotional Awareness
People with emotional awareness understand what they’re feeling and why. They understand the feelings of others better because they are more in touch with their own inner life. This understanding allows people to respond to others and to better regulate and cope with difficult emotions like anger or fear.
Perseverance
Whether they are working on goals or inner coping skills they are action-oriented. They don’t give up. Resilient people don’t feel helpless or hopeless when a challenge comes along. They are more likely to keep working toward a goal when they are faced with an obstacle.
Internal Focus
They believe that they are in control of their own lives, rather than outside forces. This trait is associated with less stress because they have a realistic view of the world and are proactive in dealing with stressors in their lives. They are more solution-oriented, which gives them a greater sense of control and in turn, brings less stress.
Optimism
Resilient people see the positive in most situations and believe in their strengths. This shifts how they handle problems from a victim mentality to an empowered one.
Support
The support of others plays a critical role in fostering resilience and improving mental well-being. They know the value of social support and surround themselves with supportive friends and family.
Sense of humor
People strong in emotional resilience can laugh at life’s difficulties. Which is a tremendous asset to shift one’s perspective from seeing things as a threat to seeing them as a challenge. This alters how the body reacts to stress.
Perspective
Resilient people learn from their mistakes, rather than deny them. They see obstacles as challenges and allow adversity to make them stronger. They can find meaning in life’s challenges rather than seeing themselves as victims. It doesn’t hurt to learn from other people’s mistakes as well.
Spirituality
Having something to believe in and having hope in something is linked with stronger emotional resilience. Especially if you’re connected internally and not just going through the motions.
Here are some ways I learned to control my thoughts and manage my emotions,
I managed my thoughts by maintaining a hopeful outlook and accepted that change and setbacks were a part of life. And that the important thing was to keep working toward my goals.
I began taking care better care of my mind and my body. I began eating better and staying physically active and I avoided unhealthy coping strategies.
From Pity to Praise 