We’ve all been there our minds spinning into a downward spiral of self-defeating thoughts. No matter the circumstances our mind tells us we are destined for failure. Self-defeating thoughts can be powerful and take a minor toll on our emotional and physical well-being.
Fortunately, there is a little secret tool that can be used to literally change the way you think and it’s called reframing. It’s how I changed my life, from doom and gloom into something positive and life-giving. Simply put refrain is changing how you see something and then expressing it differently.
It’s a psychological paradigm shift that replaces your old way of thinking with a new and improved mindset. Reframing not only changes the way you see, think, and respond to situations, but it can also keep your thoughts from sliding down a slippery slope of impending doom.
Doing it is pretty tricky. Logic doesn’t jive with emotions and emotions frequently trump logic. This happens way more often than we’d like to admit. Trying to get the logical and the emotional self in sync is a real challenge but not impossible. It begins with changing your perspective. You just have to put on those rose-colored glasses.
If we see the glass as half-empty rather than half-full or think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence then perhaps you could use a little reframing.
5 Steps to reframing your thoughts
- Ride the wave. Thoughts are just a bunch of concepts produced by your brain. They have no emotion or inherent meaning. You are the author of them and you assign them meaning by how you interpret and respond to them. Just like waves in an ocean, some thoughts are strong and others are weak. Teach yourself to recognize that your thoughts are separate from who you are and allow them to freely come and go. Don’t try and hold on the unhelpful or negative thoughts, and don’t try and fight them because they can take up under. The next time a colossal thought comes crashing toward you, don’t let it pull you out to sea. Choose to ride that wave. Not only will the view be better but it may help you see the big picture (why am I having these thoughts?)”
- Look at the situation from the outside looking in approach. Remove yourself from the situation by looking at the circumstances from the outside. This allows you to observe what’s happening from different angles. You might even ask yourself, “What advice would I give someone else in this situation?” Sometimes looking fro the outside in can help you put some distance between the circumstance and the emotion, all while helping you look for the best possible solution.
- Put on your detective hat. Ask yourself “What are the facts about the situation and what are my feelings? Do they match up or are my thoughts magnifying the situation?” Emotions can easily steal the limelight from reality. They can make a mountain out of a molehill. By keeping your eyes on the supporting evidence, you may be able to crack your case and move on to the next mystery.
- Hold your horses. When your internal dialogue is screaming out pessimistic negativity, it’s time to mediate the situation. Rather than jumping on the bandwagon and going along with whatever your thoughts tells you. Stop! Hold your horses. Often emotions can run wild, and when they do, you can end up making reckless, impulsive decisions. It’s best to slow down and consider all of the options before hastily acting out or jumping to conclusions. Think “Am I reacting or responding?”
- Sift through the dirt to find the gold. Challenge yourself to look beyond the doom and gloom to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just like a gold miner, you may have to sift through a lot of dirt to get to that priceless nugget. Don’t let unhelpful negative thoughts make you miss a golden opportunity.
Reframing is one skill that can truly change the way you think.
From Pity to Praise 