Surviving Cancer

In June 2012, my view of God’s sovereignty went from theoretical to critical when I learned I had bladder cancer. The doctors gave me 1 year to live.

Three days later I had a grapefruit-size tumor removed. I believed God had numbered my days. I remember thinking about everything I’ve experienced in life and this is what kills me. Why should I even try to survive this was my mindset.

Over years of treatment, I wrestled with God’s sovereignty, the idea that God has the absolute power to rule over His creation. I didn’t question the truth of His rule and reign over things. I was grateful He had provided me with a solid biblical understanding of His character. I struggled to find comfort from God’s sovereignty as I looked ahead to an uncertain future for my family and me.

Through years of intravesical therapy and constant cystoscopies, I knew God held the outcome in His hands. Dr R.C. sproul wrote,

“If there is one single molecule in this universe running around loose, totally free of God’s sovereignty, then we have no guarantee that a single promise of God will ever be fulfilled.”

God’s sovereignty guarantees that our heavenly Father reigns over all. We see this truth throughout the Bible,

“Whatever the Lord pleased, that He has done, in heaven and in earth, in the seas and in all the deeps” -Psalm 135:6

Nothing can touch us that hasn’t first come through His hands.

But that guarantee of God’s sovereignty is not a promise that terrible things will never happen. But He tells us in Romans that for those who love God, all things work together for good.

This isn’t a promise that I wouldn’t die of cancer. And there’s no assurance I would not suffer, hurt, grieve, or have my life radically altered. But it Got me to the mindset where I needed to be. “I’m going to fight until my very last breath. Satan would not see me give up so easily.

In the darkness of my suffering, God shined the light on His sovereignty by His love, faithfulness, and redemption. He allowed me to see that He was not just calling the shots, but He was crafting beautiful purposes for His children.

His power knows no rival and His goodness to His children never fails. Nothing can prevent God’s purposes for us from coming to pass (Job 42:2). Nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:38-29. Our sovereign God is also our loving Father.