There is a power in forgiveness the upstarts our ability to heal and free us from bitterness, anger, and resentment. The benefits are significant for both mental and physical health. By choosing to forgive, we can improve our relationships, lower stress and anxiety, and experience greater peace of mind.
This is a personal choice tore.ease the right to seek revenge and move past the pain, but it does not mean condoning the harmful behavior.
The Benefits of forgiveness
- Improve mental and emotional health:
Forgiveness can reduce anxiety, stress, and hostility, and symptoms of depression. It helps people let goo bitterness and find greater peace of mind ind and can improve our self-esteem.
It’s no surprise that the word forgive appears over 120 times in the Bible. Jesus instructs Peter in Matthew 18:21-22 to forgive “seventy time seven” times which is often interpreted as an encouragement to forgive without limits.
Studies has actually shown that practicing forgiveness is linked to better physical health, including lowering blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and improved heart health.
Forgiving others is ultimately a way to set yourself free from the burden of holding onto anger, which can be a form of self punishment.
Forgiveness is not the same as excusing or condoning the wrongful actions of another person. Forgiveness is an internal process that can happen without a full reconciliation with the person who caused the hurt.
Forgiveness does not mean erasing the memory. It is not about pretending something didn’t happen, but about releasing the emotional hold it has on a person.
- The act of forgiving
Forgiveness is a choice. It’s a conscious decision and an act of will to stop suffering from what someone else has done.
It’s about releasing the desire for revenge. It means surrendering the right to get even or seek retribution.
It can also be directed at oneself. Most people have a difficult time forgiving themselves for their past mistakes, foolishness, or shortcomings.
For much of my life, I was under the misconception that truly forgiving others meant letting go and allowing things to be exactly where they were before.
I knew I could never forgive my mother for the lies she told me growing up. I knew I didn’t want my children to spend any alone time with her. Mostly because I didn’t trust that she would not try to do the same to them. I couldn’t see a way to restore any relationship with her. So, I stayed away. Only visit when Father would call and wanted to see me.
I chose to focus on my own healing by acknowledging my feelings, setting firm boundaries, and understanding the situation without excusing get behavior. It was an internal process for my own peace, but not reconciliation. It involved seeking therapy and giving myself compassion.
It took a long time for me to identify my emotions. And accept that it was okay to be angry, hurt, and disappointed. I didn’t understand why she treated me differently from my siblings.
I had to understand the neglect and how it shaped me, without excusing my mother’s behavior.
I tried to look for the context and try to understand my mother’s past experiences to help me process what I was going through even though this wasn’t needed for me to forgive her.
I had to focus on my own healing. Prioritizing self-compassion and forgiving any feelings of guilt or unworthiness that arose.
I chose to set boundaries with my own children. I knew I had to keep my children safe. Even if that meant keeping them from being with my mother unsupervised.
I had to adjust my expectations and move forward. I had to accept that my mother didn’t provide what I needed. I stopped expecting her to change.
The hardest part was letting go of the past. I had to choose to release the burden of resentment for my own peace, and not about forgetting what happened.
From Pity to Praise 