Dying To Live

For years I kept living with a victim mindset because I didn’t know I had the power to change. I didn’t understand that being a victim was a choice. A choice that I made every day. It’s impossible to change something that we are not aware of, so once I realized, I had no excuse. I had to choose to be a victor not a victim.

A victor realizes that they have control over both their outlook on life and their future. A victor takes responsibility for their own life, whether that means for their actions or their behaviors. A victim has an inward focus, not in a selfish way but reflectively and mindfully. This means that they are not looking around at what everyone else is or isn’t doing and passing judgment, it means they are focused on what they themselves should or shouldn’t be doing. A victor grows, develops, and improves themselves.

When a victim faces challenges, they feel like the world is against them. The opposite end of the spectrum a victor sees life’s challenges as opportunities to grow. A victor is in control of their life and directs themselves where they want to go instead of letting life call the shots. Someone with a victor mindset lives free and empowered instead of being trapped and controlled.

When I was a victim my life was like a roller coaster that I didn’t want to be on. I felt I didn’t have a choice or a chance to get off, and I had been living like that for a long time.

I was unable to cope with my emotions, and ultimately, I let my emotions dictate my choices and behavior. Even the smallest inconveniences took me down a wild spiral. If I couldn’t open a jar, I would get angry and yell at myself or sometimes even the jar. I never felt settled, and my anxiety was on high alert all the time. I reached a point where I couldn’t take it anymore.

Once I hit rock bottom, that’s when God showed up. I had been going to therapy for trauma, but it felt, like I was going in circles. I would talk about things with my therapist, and the therapist would say “I hear you,” or “here’s some medication to try.“ I was running for my pill bottle to try and get some relief. I was thinking it was just all in my head, and that kept me in a victim mindset.

I was ready to get off the hamster wheel I had found myself on. I was ready to try something new.

My children began going to a youth group at the church with some friends from school. After a while, they told me they were going to church on Sundays and that I should come. I said no at first, but then I thought I’ve tried everything else, why not? It is kinda crazy that God sent my children to save me.

What I wanted was results, while I still went to therapy and took my anxiety and depression pills. Things began to change -I began to see results. Something was changing inside of me, I could feel it.

The results came when I decided I wanted to change how I was living and commit to working as hard as I could to shift my mindset from victim to victor. I saw it as an opportunity to grow a victor mentality, instead of being angry that I had a lot of work ahead of me.

Following Jesus was like making a commitment to live my life with a victor’s mindset. Even when it was hard and uncomfortable, I stuck with ur. It was my chance to learn to be curious about myself. A huge thing that impacted my life. Being a follower of Jesus is making a point of letting the Holy Spirit lead my life. This let God walk me through the shift in mindset in a way I could grasp. I will forever be grateful for Him.

After changing my mindset everything else aligned, and I was able to control my emotions, my anxiety, and depression we were no longer in charge of my life. I could respond rather than react to situations.

There are times in life when we have no control over situations in life. Some things just happen, and we don’t get a say. But that doesn’t mean that we have to be a victim in the situation. We still have a choice. A choice to either be a victim of a victor. We can feel bad for ourselves and wallow in our suffering, or we can choose to learn, grow, and be positive about how God can use our story moving forward.

Interestingly, mindsets all relate to biblical truth. The Bible talks about a special relationship we can have with God as our Father, and how it is achieved through adoption and involves privileges, identity, and spiritual inheritance. The condition of being God’s children. At the root of the victim victor mindset is an orphan spirit. Our wounds make it difficult for us to receive the inheritance God has for us. Until I was able to identify the lies I felt about myself and replace them with my true identity in Jesus. I fell short.

We all start out ad orphans, separated from God which is due to the fall of man (talked about in Genesis). Only when we accept Jesus into our lives, declaring Him as the One true God, do we become adopted into His family.

Ultimately through faith in Jesus can we become children of God and become new creations.

Obedience to God doesn’t come from a sense of duty, but out of God’s love and faithfulness to us.

It’s about falling in love with Jesus, who leads us to the Father. God is longing for us to embrace Him. When we find Him we find ourselves. That’s being a child of God.