Emotions can be like wild horses. Beautiful. Powerful. Yet, if they are to be useful in everyday life, emotions like horses must be tamed.
But can emotions truly be tamed?
Emotions can seem like they have a mind of their own, less like horses, and more like loud ocean waves, our emotions seem unwilling to yield to even our passionate commands.
Sometimes we feel at the mercy of these dangerous whitecaps, whether they be anger, despair, loneliness, or envy. And waves of positive emotions come from, time to time too like gladness, surprise, and awe. But do we really have to take the bad with the good?
Growing up I never learned to handle my emotions. I was too busy being in a state of fear. I was stuck in emotional dysregulation, avoiding difficult feelings, or experiencing heightened anxiety. It has taken me close to 30 years to learn how to regulate.
There is a way to experience relief from our emotions that seem to drown us.
The Bible teaches self-control as a key “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians, which enables us to master emotions, desires, and actions, not through personal might but by God’s power. Teaching us to guard our hearts, renewing our minds, and seeking God’s wisdom, along with responding to situations with patience and understanding instead of reacting.
But self-control does mean stoicism. Jesus Himself gave us examples of deep emotion in scripture. At Lazarus’s tomb in John 11:35 when, “Jesus wept.” and in the garden of Gethsemane in Luke 22:44, “Being in agony He prayed more earnestly. His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down on the ground.” We see that Jesus experiences deep sorrow and anguish. The catch is He doesn’t allow His sorrow to lead Him into sin. He submits to God’s will and puts us before Himself in each trying circumstance, even in the midst of powerful feelings.
That’s the kind of self-control we should aim for in our emotions. For help, we can rely on the Holy Spirit for lasting change. Even with this in mind, there are tangible ways we can fight for self-control on a daily basis.
Jesus tells us in John 14:1, “Don’t let your heart be troubled. Believe in God. Believe also in Me.” Life’s troubles can grow around us so much so that we can’t see the forest for the trees. Jesus calls His disciples in such a time to “believe in God. It’s a discipline of the mind to remember His goodness. Keep some Bible verses handy that encourage you in this belief, ior better yet -memorize them.
Don’t underestimate God’s willingness to hear your prayers, and answer them. James writes in James 5:13, “Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray…” We are loved by a kind God. He will help us in our times of emotional need.
So often our minds become consumed with the negative: what we don’t have, or why life is going wrong. Paul reminds us that in addition to calling out to God in prayer when we are consumed with negative emotion, we should focus on what is good. In Philippians 4:4-9 he tells us that, “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -think about such things…and the God of peace will be with you.”
Next time your mind becomes filled with negative thoughts, think or write down all you can think of that falls into the above verse categories. And turn from your negativity to remember how God has blessed your life.
Another coping mechanism is to become familiar with red flags or triggers and interview early.
Learn the early warning signs of an emotional spiral for you. If you struggle with anger, irritation might be a red flag. Don’t let initial emotions snowball into what will eventually feel like an avalanche.
From Pity to Praise 