From Pity to Praise

Taking Ownership

Do you perceive yourself as an active agent in your own life or a passive agent of your circumstance?

The Two circles model describes ways we can choose to view the world. This is a model that teaches us to take ownership of our lives by escaping the fake limits of false perspectives.

The Victim Circle

When we live life in the victim circle we tend to focus on how the works affect us. This can lead to negative consequences like,

Feeling helpless in a world that controls us
Feeling like something external has to change for us to be okay
Feeling like we have no control, no choice, and no ownership of our own lives
Blaming others, worshiping larger-than-life people, and living complacently

Ultimately, when we live in the victim circle we live a re-active life, driven by our emotions

The Freedom Circle

When we live in the freedom circle, we recognize our own agency in the world. When we do this we,

Recognize that we can influence the world around us, regardless of what is happening externally
Recognize our choices and our ability to take responsibility for ourselves
When choose to live in the freedom circle, we are responsive not re-active.

This means that we recognize our emotions, but don’t make decisions based on them. Instead, we are driven by the truth and our own values.

There are only three things we can control,

1. Our choices

2. Our perspective

3. Who we trust

The secret to moving from the victim circle to the freedom circle is accepting the difficult reality that we can only control three things in this life. When we move from the victim circle to the freedom circle, we do so by acknowledging this reality and changing one of these three things.

First, we control our choices. No matter what is going on around us, we have the opportunity and power to make our own decisions this includes how we behave. What we do is up to us.

Second, we get to control how we view ourselves, and the world around us. Our attitude is a decision, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Finally, we get to control who we put our trust in. Ask yourself this question. Do you trust God in all circumstances?

If you live in the victim circle you sacrifice your ability to choose, relying on others to make you okay.

If you’re only okay in some circumstances, or when others treat you a certain way, you are living in the victim circle.

You can choose to live in the freedom circle. Even in a stormy phase of you’re emotions. When you can take ownership of the three things listed above you can live in the freedom circle.

No matter what is happening around you, you can take control of yourself and exercise influence.

Our circumstances will always challenge us, however, we always can make choices. When we choose to live in the freedom circle and not the victim circle we have an impact in life. Our choices matter.

Circumstances often prompt an emotional response. While this response may cloud our judgment, the emotions themselves are not the enemy. They must be appropriately be recognized. Our emotions should never determine our reality, instead they should let us know that something valuable is at stake.

Being informed by our emotions is a freedom circle activity, being controlled by our emotions is a victim circle behavior. A person’s action or a specific circumstance can trigger an emotion in us. But it’s our choice how to respond to that emotion.

Curiosity

What are you curious about?

I have a strong desire to learn. I have been an observer my entire life. Me not being allowed to speak at home as a child, I learned by observation. As an adult I am curious about everything. If someone is talking about it, I want to learn about it. My main interests are the Holy Bible, and the morals and values of people. I have always had a curiosity about crime and the psychological mind of criminals.

The Battle In Your Heart

“Keep your heart will all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life” – Proverbs 4:23

I once asked what our hearts need to be guarded against. Then I read this scripture. Our emotions are from our hearts. Love, anger, and joy all emanate from it. The combination of our will, emotion, and mind. Our hearts are a superpower for our lives, but it can also be our greatest weakness.

Our hearts can lead us to lash out in anger or cry over something silly. Our hearts aren’t just a ball of emotion but our emotions that come from our thoughts. Some psychologists would call our hearts our subconscious. Our hearts determine our lives.

Try thinking of your heart like a fresh spring of emotions. And you will quickly see how it directs your life. A spring of water occurs naturally throughout the world. Underneath the earth’s surface are rocks and sediment that collect water as I sponge. When they take in too much water the sponge overflows creating a spring. A natural spring has calcium and iron, but it also can contain arsenic or even radioactive materials.

Our hearts are also like this. Each of us has layers and layers of life events that create little sponges. There are bound to be some contaminants that come in. Unfortunately, our hearts take in whatever our eyes and ears have been exposed to. It doesn’t discriminate. It just soaks up life.

Our hearts determine our lives. Jeremiah 17:9-10says,

“The human heart is deceitful above all things and it is exceedingly corrupt. Who can know it.”

It’s not surprising that marketing professionals design advertising that targets our hearts. They want to motivate us to spend our money. Movies are made to make us feel a certain way, anger, sympathy, joy… Make no mistake Satan knows our souls and that he can take us out by attacking our hearts. He understands all he has to do is poison the water. Our hearts will take it in because it knows no different.

Ephesians 6 talks about using “The armor of God.” The breastplate of righteousness is the piece of armor that protects our hearts. This means we can fend off attacks if we stand with God. But whether it not you stand there while you get pelted by arrows is up to you.

If our hearts go unchecked for too long, we can easily hurt others even if it’s unintentional, it comes from the outpouring of heart, if we do it consistently it becomes culture to us. Solomon says in Proverbs 4:23, guard your heart because everything we do starts there.

How to guard your heart,

Guarding our hearts requires diligence. Satan knows it doesn’t take much for us to absorb negative experiences.

“Keep your mouth free of perversity, keep corrupt talk far from your lips” – Proverbs 4:24

Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Watching what we say goes a long way to preventing future hurts. But it also keeps us from hurting ourselves. In Ephesians 4: 29-32 Paul says,

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what us helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen, and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you are sealed for the day of redemption.

If we are watching things that put us in fear or lust in our hearts then that is what is going to come from our hearts. Jesus said in Matthew 12:35,

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and a evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.”

“Give careful thought to the paths of your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left, keep your foot from evil”- Proverbs 4:26-27

There will be times when you make mistakes with your words or with what you see or hear because we cannot control the environments we are in. However, it’s important to choose whether to take action or not. Our actions with bring us closer to God or further away. I’ve important to feed our hearts and minds Godly things, not impurities that will continue to spring up causing us to he in a constant state of internal war.

The Bible talks a lot about the heart because it has the power to cause success or failure in life. The only way to guard our hearts is to be vigilant in our communication and to pay attention to our actions.

Victory In Life’s Toughest Battles

After Iwas born again, there were a few years I struggled in my everyday life. I was miserable because I still had wounds in my soul from my past that made me insecure, angry, and a lack of trust with everyone I came into contact with. I went to church every week but still struggled to believe that God would forgive all the sins I had committed.

I loved God, read my Bible daily, and prayed for Him to forgive me. But I had no idea that there was power available to me to overcome the hurts from the past and the struggles I had endured. In the past, everything that came along was hard to handle and defeated me.

I was grateful for that June day when He showed me that He had powerfully forgiven me. So I would not have any more doubt. Not only does He want to fill us with power, but He promises in His Word that we can have abundant life in Jesus because He has overcome the world. We see this in John 10:10 and 16:33.

The truth is as His children, we don’t have to live weak, wimpy, pitiful pathetic, barely getting by lives. God gives us His power to enable us to do whatever we need to do in life.

But there is no such thing as a problem-free life. Some people have the misconception that when they give their lives to Jesus, they will no longer have any problems. God told us in this world we would have trials and tribulations. He also told us that He has overcome the world.

John 16:33 tells us,

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

No one can promise you a problem-free life, but God promised that if you put your trust in Him, He will give you faith that will enable you to rise about the problems you face. And when you get through then, you will be stronger on the other side than you were before you had them.

Knowing you can have power from God to live in this world is one thing but learning to believe this truth and walk in it is the key to having victory over the trials and differing you face.

Philippians 3:10 tells us, that we can experience the same power that raised Jesus from the dead. In this verse Paul says his determined purpose was to know Him, become more thoroughly acquainted with Him, understand the remarkable wonders of His Person more completely and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, by being continually confirmed to Hid death.

This is a very encouraging promise from God because we all face problems and have weaknesses we can’t overcome in our own strength or effort. But if we are determined to trust God in every situation, we can fight the good fight of faith by His grace.

We can become more than conquered through Jesus. Romans 8:37-39 says,

“In all things, we are more than conquered through Him who loved us, For I am persuaded that neither death, not life, nor angels, nor principalities, not things present, not things to come, not powers, not height, not depth, not any other created thing will be able to separate us from God’s love which in Messiah Yeshua our Lord.”

To qualify for the power of God, we must come to the place where we recognize that in and of ourselves, we are weak, and we have limitations without God. If we didn’t have any weakness, we wouldn’t realize we need Him. One of the best prayers we can ever pray is “God, I need You, and I am nothing without You.

It is important for us to understand this because if we wait until we have a problem that’s too big for us to handle before we rely on God’s strength, then we set ourselves up for failure. It took me 4 years of admitting I was weak before God came and showed me He was strong.

The best thing we can do to live this life in victory is to continually seek God with our whole hearts, realizing we are desperate for Him all the time. Spending time with Him in prayer and reading His Word every day. Then, when the storms of life happen, you will be confident that with Jesus, you already have everything you need to overcome them.

Taming Our Tongues

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” – Proverbs 18-21

“The tongue is the only tool that gets sharper with use” – Washington Irving

Words are powerful weapons that can inspire or destroy someone.

Two wolves are always fighting. One is darkness and despair. The other is light and hope. The question is which wolf wins? The one you feed. This is an old Cherokee parable that has been passed down for generations. What does it have to do with words you ask?

We always have a choice when we speak. God has given us the freedom to choose our words. Some bring light and hope and are rooted in love. We all have words that are never released and words that should never have been released. We have words that build up and ones that tear down.

If we speak something out of a place of fear, fear is manifested in our environment – that fear is spoken into existence. The same goes with love, when we speak life and love these things are made manifest.

Scripture has a lot to say about our words.

“Whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles” – Proverbs 21:23

“No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it, we bless our God and Father, and with it, we curse men, who are made in the image of God. Out of the same mouth comes blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send out from the opening fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, My brothers, yield olives, or a vine figs? This no spring yields both salt water and fresh water” – Jacob (James) 3:8-12.

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” -Proverbs 12:18

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord, keep watch over the four of my lips” -Psalm 141:3

I get convicted over my words all my words. I spew ugly words out of my mouth without thinking, only later to be convicted -” Why did I say that.” Conviction is a declaration of guilt for behaving in a way that doesn’t align with God’s commands.

Conviction should be followed by repenting and asking for forgiveness to receive God’s grace and then turned into action to prevent that behavior from being repeated in the future. God can forgive us 50 times a day, but we need to not give up on turning away from sin.

James 3 says, “No human being can tame the tongue,” so what’s the point in trying if it can’t be done? Matthew 19-26 says that Jesus looked at them intently and said, humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”

The way to tame your tongue is by partnering with the Holy Spirit, these problems cannot be solved or transformed by mere willpower. It takes the Holy Spirit to do.

We need to starve the wolf of darkness and despair and nourish the wolf of light and hope. How do we do this:

1. Dedicate our hearts, minds, and tongues daily to the Lord.

Pray that God will protect our minds from thoughts that lead to words of destruction. Continually offer praise and profess His name. When we choose to praise, it’s difficult to slander, gossip, fear-based words, and curse people.

Luke 6:45 says, “The mouth speaks what the heart if full of” what are you filling your heart and mind with?

2. Have Awareness and consciousness of words

We should Taste our words before we spit them out. Acknowledge our need for discernment and God’s grace to help us remain conscious of your words. Be intentional

If we are supposed to speak up, we should do it with boldness. If we are supposed to remain silent, do it with boldness.

One of my favorite Psalms is 19:14,

“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, Lord my rock, and my redeemer.”

Take responsibility for the words that come out of your mouth.

3. Don’t Complain

We are not entitled to the act of complaining, especially when not in front of our friends, co-workers, or strangers. No one enjoys hearing it, and most people do not have our best interests in mind. If people don’t engage you or agree with you when you complain about yourself or others, it is because you are making them uncomfortable.

When I want to complain I usually tell the person that I need to vent to process through the day. If you need to vent give yourself a time limit. Vent, pray, and then change the subject. Sitting with negative words is suffocating and causes death to the environment you are in.

4. Ask for forgiveness for any unloving words or attitudes

We all make mistakes if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and we could also control ourselves in every ever way. We should spend some time with God repenting and asking forgiveness regarding our language or words that we have spoken that are offensive to God. Work on changing the way you speak in order to demonstrate His love.

5. Work on speaking words that encourage, comfort, edify, and inspire

The goal here is to speak life.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” – Ephesians 4:29

To encourage means to give support, confidence, or hope. To comfort means to soothe, console, or bring freedom from pain. To edify means to cultivate, develop, and build up. And inspire means to motivate, excite, and energize.

Which Wolf Will You Feed?

Random Acts Of Kindness

Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.

The warm feeling of well-being that washes over you when you’ve done something kind isn’t just in your head. It’s in your brain chemicals too.

Acts of kindness can release hormones that contribute to your mood and over all well being. The practice of kindness is so effective it’s being formally incorporated into some types of psychotherapy.

The trick we need to know is that act of kindness have to be repeated because biochemically, you can’t live on the 3 to 4 minutes oxytocin boosts that come from a single act.

Most research on the science behind why kindness makes us feel better has centered around oxytocin which is sometimes called “the love hormone.”

The last random act of kindness I’ve done was I when I was working at a snow come stand for at race track to do a fund race to help make money for the local veterans in my community to buy meals for home bound veterans during the Christmas holidays. I bought a man’s order which I turn caused him to buy the people’s order behind him, until the last person didn’t buy the person’s order behind her. But the act of kindness when on for about 45 minutes. It was just good people paying it forward to bless the person behind them. Which I turn made people feel good.

We can build better selves and better communities at the same time. By doing a simple act of kindness and people paying forward that kindness to another person.

How I Fight My Battles

Every one of us fights battles in our lives, Satan is always looking for opportunities to trip us up.

Some things are spiritual and some things are not. Some things could be a result of our insecurities, or our sin. We must be able to discern the difference between them.

During my life experiences God has shown me a few things about how to fight. There are three points on how to fight in the middle of fighting in the Spiritual.

1. Rest in His Strength

We must stand on scripture. Standing on God’s Word to know the truth. So, when satan tries to have us fall for a lie, we can refute that lie with the truth.

That’s why memorizing scripture is important. You cannot stand on something you don’t remember.

Psalms 119:11 says

“I have hidden Your word in my heart, that I might not sin against You.”

Having the Word of God readily accessible when we need it is critical as we fight against the lies satan uses.

If you need to buy some index cards, write down scriptures that you want to stand on and look at them often.

When Jesus was being tempted by Satan in the wilderness He stood on scripture. Every time satan tried to tell Him lies and, He refuted it with the truth. Even Satan uses scripture, but he always uses it out of context. We must know the context of the scriptures we are trying to stand on.

Pray. Prayer is a great weapon for fighting in a battle. While there will be distractions to deter us from doing this, prayer is a powerful way to defeat satan. Some say you have to pray when you first rise in the morning. But it doesn’t matter what time of day or night, just do it. See what works best for you.

Worship. Worship can bring us into the presence of God, focusing on this turns us away from the attacks around us, and gets us closer to Jesus, who is bigger than what you are facing. Evil forces can’t stay around in the presence of Jesus.

“Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world“ – 1 John 4:4

When you are in a battle remember God is greater than satan, evil, and demonic forces in the world.

You’re testimony of overcoming fear is won with praying scripture.

When fear and anxiety overcome me out of nowhere I go to my vehicle and turn on worship music, and drive. Or open my Bible and begin reading God’s promises, because it brings peace to me.

2. Be alert and sensitive to what is going on in your mind and heart

Satan loves to try to attack your mind with ideas that do not align with scripture. This is why we are to take every thought captive.

For example: when we compare ourselves to others. “Why did God bless this person and not me?” And then thinking “God does not do good things for me.” or “God does not care about me.” Satan loves to whisper these lies to us.

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us,

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”

We do not wage fleshly battles, but spiritual ones. The weapons of our warfare are spiritual. If we are going to win against Satan we have to tear down the strongholds of wrong thinking.

If I have a thought that I know is not from God, I stop meditating on that thought and I stand on a scripture in the truth of what God says, I think about things that are worthy of praise. For example: “Why did God bless this person and not me with looks? God said, “I praise You because am fearfully and wonderfully made….” (Psalm 139: 14-16).

Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:8 that we should call for reconciliation, joyful faith and disciplined thinking. These things will inspire worship of God and serve others.

If you are dealing with anger it’s important to address this quickly because if you let it fester (or grow) in your heart, good thing will not come from it.

Satan can use anger or offense in your heart and cause you to think about horrible through. Bitterness can start to grow in your heart. And as a result, you will begin to distance yourself from God and others.

3. Find support of others

Do not walk alone in what ever your fighting. Share with others that you trust. Satan tells us to hide our struggle, but we cannot heal if it’s not out in the open. These can be mentors, other believers, a pastor or priest, or a trusted family member.

Proverbs 24:6 says,

“For by wise guidance, you can wage your war, and in abundance there is victory.”

I always found that talking to God out loud helped me, when I was alone. God will never leave you or forsake you. But you also have to listen for His voice when doing this.

There is an added power when two come together and pray. Find an accountability partner, or join a prayer meeting where you can be there for each other. Sometimes we need to humble ourselves and let someone know what your going through.

We need each other. We are not made to fight alone. We cannot do anything on our own, that’s why God put us together on earth. We need to encourage each other we when we are down.

It is powerful, and God can bless us in many ways when we surrender, humble ourselves and reach out to someone.

God is with us through our journey, God trains us to become stronger. Practice takes courage. And God gives us tools and weapons to use in our battles.

We have a God who is all-powerful living with us!

Traditions Not Kept From My parents

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

Some Hungarian traditions are music, dance, cooking, and embroidery along with being very involved in their children’s lives. My nagymomma did beautiful embroidery work, but I have not kept up the beautiful work. I never had the patience for it. I remember my father loved Hungarian music and dancing. While I learned a few dances, I haven’t kept up with them.

My mother was Shawnee Indian, I never learned much from her at all Except for the Indian fry bread recipe.

Spiritual Health

While spirit cannot be defined as part of the body or mind. Body, mind, and spirit all have an effective impact on one another. Improved spiritual life can help contribute to the healing process.

Orituwlbhealth is a dimension of human wellness that integrates all dimensions of health: physical, emotional, mental, and social. Spiritual health creates meaning in life,

I believe that spiritual health is a kind of glue that brings all the other places of health together. I don’t believe anything spiritual comes from religion. It’s not about a bunch of rules on whether you can eat this or that or the way to dress.

I get asked all the time why I am such a firm believer in God. And my answer will always be the same, “I’ve tried everything known to man but I was still missing something.” It’s a hole inside that cannot be filled with anything else, when I found God (or He found me) that hole was filled.

Spiritual Health is often downplayed as less important than physical, emotional, or social health, but it is vital to finding our purpose in life and achieving greater mindfulness of our impact on the rest of the world.

Spiritual health is achieved when we feel at peace with life. It is when we can find hope and peace even in the hardest of times.

Spiritual health leads to improved mental health. Spiritual well-being or lack of it, can have a significant impact on our day-to-day life and our ability to cope with the stressors of life.

There have been studies that show that people who have good spiritual beliefs experience lower levels of depression, and anxiety, and display signs of better health.

Living In Turbulent Times

I believe that if you believe in God it is possible to be optimistic, hopeful, and enthusiastic. After all we have every reason to be optimistic about life on earth and life eternal.

No one who believes should be a pessimist, because believing in God is a system of radical optimism. Although there are times it’s easy to be pulled down by tough times. When experiencing discouragement, exhaustion, or more, then it’s time to ask the question: what’s the matter and why?

In Philippians 4:8 it says,

“Whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is anyviryre, and if there is any praise, think about those thingss.”

That sounds like a good thought process.

Being worried by the inevitable challenges of our everyday living, but knowing that God wants to bring assurance to us is praiseworthy. After all, the ultimate battle had already been won on the cross at Calvery. If our lives have been transformed by Jesus’s sacrifice, then as a recipient of God’s grace, believers have every reason to live courageously.

Whether in good times or turbulent times, be willing to trust God’s plan for your life. Proverbs 3:5-7makes it clear,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Don’t be wise in your own eyes. Fear the Lord, and depart from evil.”

A.W Tozer said, “Attitude is all important. Let the soul take a quiet latitude of faith and love toward God, and from there on, the responsibility is God’s. He will make good on His commitments.”

These words serve as a reminder that even when the challenges of the times we live in seem daunting, God remains steadfast.

So vow to be a hope-filled believer. Think optimistically about life, family, career, future, and purpose. Trust and be hopeful, not fearful.

Pray for God’s help to keep focused on the truth – the truth of God. Practice thinking about the possibilities and what is good every day. It might take time, but every new thought will replace the old way of thinking and will provide a better, future mindset.

Was Today A Typical Day

Was today typical?

Today was not a typical day.. I woke up with the starting of a migraine, I thought I could head it off, with some migraine medicine. But my noon all I could do was grab an ice pack and go to bed. By about 4:00 P.M. I had decided on a migraine cocktail, which I don’t do very often because it’s really bad for the liver. But sometimes it’s the only thing that works.

Thank goodness that my husband is good on days I am unable to cook dinner, because today was not a typical day in our household.

The Purpose Of The Wilderness

God gives us four reasons He took the Israelites through the wilderness and He takes us for the same reasons. The wilderness is a place of trials and temptations. The military calls it boot camp and it’s their way of finding the best way for the job to get done.

These reasons are found in Deuteronomy 8:2,

“You shall remember all the way which the Lord your God has led you these 40 years in the wilderness, the He might humble you, to prove you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments, or not.”

The word humble means showing a low estimate of one’s own importance, meek, submissive, bring down or debase. There is nothing that can humble you like a tough trial. It humble us to say, “I can’t fix it but I will call the One who can.

The second reason we go through the wilderness is to prove ourselves. Prove means to demonstrate truth, evidence, genuineness, and validity.

God proves us in the wilderness. Every vehicle has to be tested to prove it will do what it is designed to do. We, too must be tested to prove that we will serve the Lord like we were created to do. The wilderness is a proving ground.

The third reason is to know what’s in our heart. A test or trial will let us know what’s in our heart. The Bible tells us out of the heart the mouth speaks. In other words when we go through a trial or test the words that come out of our mouths will tell us what’s in our heart. It was in Peter’s heart to deny Jesus 3 times. It was what was in his heart that’s why he denied Jesus when He was questioned and put on trial.

The fourth reason is to see if we will keep His commandments or not. It is easy to say that we will keep His commandments when there are no tests or trials, but it’s what we will do during tests and trials that counts.

One of His commandments is to give thanks during tests and trials. Another is to pay tithes, are we cheerful givers or angry about it. Do we pay when we are in tough places or low on funds. It’s so easy to take from our tithing when we are in a tough spot financially.

The Israelites were in the wilderness for 40 years for these reasons. I find it interesting that the number 40 speaks of tests and trials. Jesus fasted 40 days and then was tested by Satan (Matthew 4:2).Jesus remained on earth 40 days after His resurrection (Acts 1:3).