“Don’t pick fights!” You can probably hear a parents of teacher echoing this advice in your heads. Don’t be that child who throws the first punch. Choosing your battle is an important life skill.
Battles are inevitable. They are going to come our way whether we like it our not. Our survival depends greatly on how we handle battles and that pesky emotion on anger. Battles make us angry, there’s no doubt about that. Anger though isn’t always a bad thing. The emotion of anger is usually lumped all into one category and labeled as bad. Which is not true. All anger is not bad. Once we learn to manage the emotion of anger correctly, then we can learn the importance of choosing our battles wisely.
Let’s face it, most battles come from the root of anger. Either someone is angry with us or we are angry with someone. No Matter which comes first when battles get going both parties are angry.
Believers often ask is it a sin to be angry, I can answer this with a scripture,
“Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath” –Ephesians 4:26
All emotions are created by God. Even God is often angry throughout the Bible. Where do you think the whole flood came from? Anger is intended to help us fight evil in the world. God wants us to be angry at sin like Jesus was.
Jesus wasn’t walking around with a lamb in His arms all the time. He was fearless and brave. He didn’t tolerate the Pharisee’s hypocrisy and He told them so.
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you devour widows’ houses, and as a pretense you make long prayers. Therefore you will receive greater condemnation” – Matthew 23:14
He said it straight to their faces too. He was sinless in His anger, though. Unfortunately, most of us wind up sinning because of our anger.
In Matthew 21:12 Jesus went into the temple in Jerusalem and saw the merchants using it to make money, and He became angry. He turned their tables over and threw them out. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like anger to me. He was not sinning though He chose that battle. He elevated the situation and divided it was worth fighting for.
Angry is a motivator. It should motivate us to speak out against what’s wrong. But what happens to most of us is it motivates us to speak our during the wrong.
Angry is not a sin in itself. Anger is a powerful emotion that God blessed us with. Angry can be used to motivate us into action when injustice is present and when danger is present. There are times when God wants us to fight, not with our fists or weapons, but to speak up and battle against evil.
In Ephesians 6:11 we are told “Put on the whole armor of God,” that we may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
If we are pitting on the armor then there must be some fighting going on. Anger can give us the courage to stand up against pressure when people want us to do something wrong. It gives us the courage to speak out when others are doing wrong. When believers are protecting against evil in society, they are not their because it’s fun, it’s because they are angry.
I will never be about protests and riots, but I am for smacking satan in the face. Protests and riots are the wrong kind of anger. Our anger can certainly can swell up for stupid reasons.
In the movie Star Wars, there is a character named “Yoda” who speaks the truth. “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
Of all the God-given emotions, anger is probably the one that is easiest to be misused. Anger can turn a seemingly timid person into a hero or a monster. Every violent criminal sitting in prison today was once an innocent baby but at some point in their life they indulged their anger. That’s the kind of anger when indulged improperly can lead to all kinds of sin.
Being able to identify good anger from bad anger is one of the most important skills we can ever learn in life. What triggers have nothing to do with Godly anger:
Hurt Feelings
Our pride may swell up and tell us otherwise, but hurt feelings are not the basis for Godly anger.
“Great piece have those who love Your law, and nothing caused them to stumble” – Psalm 119:165
If you are offended and you are feelings are often hurt, then you are not dwelling in the peace of God. Jesus was often accused of being filled with demons, blaspheming God, treason against the government and more, but He was not offended, though these things hurt His feelings.
Feeling get hurt when they are in the way. Just like a foot stuck in the way tripping others up as they pass by. Our feelings, when they are out of control and all over the place, will get hurt more often. The trick is to our feelings in their place. Feelings come and go but if we take those feelings to Jesus in prayer we can hand those feelings over to Him.
Misunderstandings
Misunderstandings are a huge contributor to the wrong anger. Misunderstandings can grow into huge problems. Jesus knew this, that is why He gave us a plan for dealing with misunderstandings.
“If your brother (or sister) sins against you, go show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your bother” -Matthew 18:15.
If we would take the first step, which Jesus Himself instructed, then misunderstandings could be figured out very quickly. What we tend to do instead is discuss the problem with everybody else except with the person to who we have the problem lies. So, the misunderstanding grows and grows and gets spread around rather than getting resolved. What looks like a huge problem that makes us angry could just be a misunderstanding. God to the person like Jesus instructed and find out.
Passing Problems
Every day in life there are thousands of little problems that could have the potential to be anger triggers and battle triggers. There is one question to ask yourself before you indulge that anger and take on that battle, “will this matter in a year?”
This is a great way to put those passing problems in perspective. Some problems are a big deal, and will matter down the road, but not all of them. We must evaluate these emotions of anger, and where they are coming from and make wise choices. Take a minute to evaluate the problem. Is it just a little passing problem that no one will remember in a year? If so, then just pass over it. When we act rashly based on our anger we can damage relationships and our reputation and ultimately hinder our relationship with God.
Consequences of Battles
When we head into a battle too quickly, there can be terrible consequences. This is especially true when we are fighting battles that stem from hurtful feelings, misunderstandings, and passing problems. Although the types of consequences that can result from his fought battles can be endless there are negative consequences when we are too quick to jump onto the battle bandwagon.
Damaged Relationships
Some of the most intense feelings of anger we will ever experience will be caused by and aimed toward the people we love the most. The closer the relationship, the more potential there is for anger and fighting. Most people believe this is caused by the fact that anger and love are the emotions of passion. Love can ignite great passion in us, but flip things around a little and that passion turns quickly to anger.
When dealing with people who we are very close to, we must choose our battles carefully. Damaged relationships are often hard to repair. When we jump into every battle or fight that comes our way, we will eventually begin to diminish our relationship with others. If we take a minute to think about it, we can probably think of someone who has a reputation for being short-tempered. Everything sets them off. Every little battle becomes a battle. They have developed a reputation of anger, fighting and struggle. People tend to stay away from them because of it.
If you want to avoid developing a reputation of this kind, and consciously make an effort to choose your battles wisely, fight your battles wisely and deal with your anger wisely.
Dealing With Anger Wisely
The key to Ephesians 4:26 to understanding how to use anger wisely. When we can use our anger wisely, then we can easily choose our battles. To deal with anger wisely we need to pinpoint the different anger triggers that we have personally.
The anger triggers I’ve listed above are some general areas that often ignite anger. You personally may have others. We have to use discernment when anger starts creeping up in us. Discernment enables us to judge critically what is correct and proper, and is united with caution.
When we are evaluating our circumstances correctly, properly and cautiously we delay our anger at the time, and we pass over a transgression. Sometimes when we are really angry we should not react at all. Sometimes we get angry about really silly stuff.
Sometimes is best to not react over something that seems like a really big deal.
I’ve seen people literally get angry over someone taking a parking spot. Some people have gotten shot over this. There is absolutely no way to justify a brutal violent act like that,

