Worriers and overthinkers get buried in their obsessive thoughts. Imagine beings in a large made where each turn leads into a deeper tangle of catastrophic, distressing events. If you’re a worrier or over thinker that’s what its like.
Everyone overthinks their lives or options from time to time. Some people however cannot stop the wheels from turning or stop their train of thought.
If you do this or know someone who does. You know it is not a very pretty place to be. It’s a constant monologue of ruminating and worrying.
Ruminating involves replacing a problem over and over in your mind. Obsessing over thoughts and thinking repetitively about various aspects of a past situation.
In involves regret, self-loathing, and self-blaming. It’s associated with the development of depression, anxiety and even eating disorders.
People prone to such patterns of thought may overanalyze every single detail of the situation they are in. They often blame themselves for what happened and are overcome with regret. With typical thoughts like:
“I should have been more patient or supportive.”
“No one will ever love me again.”
Worrying is wanting to predict the future. It involves negative thoughts about things that might and might not happen.
“They will not like me in the job interview, I won’t get the job.”
“I will never be able to pay my bills next month.”
These thoughts are energy-draining and distressing. They could happen to anyone that’s under stress. But when you reach the point where your thoughts and worry are preventing you from doing what you want to do then it’s time to take action.
I have a family member that worries so much that she makes herself physically ill. No amount of worry or overthinking is going to change the situation.
When negative thoughts come or ruminations start, say to yourself: “Stop!!” adding that is more effective when you say the word out loud.
Some people I’ve known have even put a rubber band around their while to ping themselves while saying the word. The main idea is conditioning yourself to stop the loop of worrying (making future predictions) of rumination (obsessing over the past). Consistency is an important key here.
Realizing that thoughts are just thoughts is a way of dealing with negative thoughts. And we can change our thoughts.
When these negative thoughts come up ask yourself:
- Is this real?
- Did that really happen?
- What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Fighting anxiety is one example where untrue thoughts are accepted as facts. Air travel is the safest way to get around, but people suffering from fear of flying accept their thoughts and fears as reality and then act upon them by refusing to fly.r
Using mindfulness techniques in which attention is paid to experience in the moment without judging them is a good way to reduce worry. Mindfulness can help us to distance ourselves from our negative thoughts and be more present in the moment.
Studies have shown that mindfulness has a positive impact on reducing stress-related behaviors such a rumination and worrying, as well as panic attacks and anxiety. Focusing on the moment makes anxiety about other problems impossible.
People plagued by obsessive worrying or overthinking do not always choose healthy ways like mindfulness to distract them.
There is a psychologists named Dr Edward Shelby said that people try to avoid rumination by engaging in a range of uncontrollable behaviors, such as binge eating and substance abuse.
But there’s a much better way to overcome any kind of distress by using distraction and shifting attention away from problems that we are obsessing over.
Here are a few ways to distract or distance yourself from the negative thoughts of worrying and overthinking:
- Listen to music
- Read a book
- Exercise or go for a walk
- Watch a movie
- Use mindfulness technique
The way we perceive a situation largely influences our emotions and behaviors. It is not the situation itself that determines how we feel, but the way we interpret it.
When we reframe our negative thoughts into positive thoughts it leads to positive emotions and healthier behaviors -including a reduction of damaging overthinking and worrying.
We can change the way we think and act by challenging unhelpful beliefs and attitudes such as over-generalization. For instance: I think every time I speak to someone they are going to judge me negatively just as my mother did. I can over-generalize this by imagining the worst possible outcome. When that doesn’t happen it can change my beliefs on how I feel about speaking to others. As I continue to push through my fear of being judged, and the fewer people react to the way I think they will it boosts my confidence to speak to more people.
When I incorporate this technique into my life when I’m stressed about speaking to people the less I will feel overwhelmed with anxiety.
Things aren’t going to change on their own. If you want to change your life, you have to take ownership of them. It won’t be easy but it is worth it –You Are Worth It.
From Pity to Praise 