Building Mental Strength
There are times when we feel like we can handle anything life throws at us. And then there are times when even the smallest setback throws us into a tailspin.
It’s not the circumstances we face. Many of us know what it’s like to be upset by something that wouldn’t ordinarily bother us. Or there are times when we can then turn around and brush off a major setback as just being a part of life.
The difference isn’t what’s happening to us -it’s our mental strength. Our mental strength helps us to resist being derailed by negative thoughts. It helps us get back into the ups and downs of life day after day.
Just like physical strength, it’s a kind of muscle that we can develop and improve our overall well being.
Mental strength doesn’t mean you never cry, complain, or have doubts. And it’s not mutually exclusive to mental illness. In fact, because people who suffer work very hard to develop coping mechanisms, many of these people have ADHD, depression, and other mental health conditions are incredibly mentally strong people.
Instead of having one static idea of what it means to be mentally fit, we should ask these questions,
- How do you respond to negative emotions or setbacks?
- Do you start thinking of solutions, or whine about bad luck or do you let them roll off your back?
When we understand that mental strength is a cognitive and emotional skill of reframing negative thoughts and adverse circumstances. Being mentally strong helps us resist both internal and external influences that weaken our self-confidence and well-being.
There is a metaphor of physical health to understanding mental strength. Just as physical strength is a component of physical fitness, mental strength is a part of mental fitness.
Mental fitness is a complete set of practices that enable us to maintain and improve our mental strength. Being mentally strong helps us to stay focused at crucial times in our lives.
For example, mental toughness helps us perform under pressure. But it is not sustainable for the athlete who needs to drown out the crowd to score a win. Even Olympic athletes under extreme pressure can damage their mental health.
Mental strength balances the extreme, it’s our ability to function effectively and sustainably in the face of challenges and stress without sacrificing our own health., sense of self and mental well-being.
Resilience, mental strength and mental toughness are all components of mental fitness. Mental toughness helps us to tune out distractions and negative self-talk. Resilience helps us revolver from setbacks. Mental strength helps us persevere, and mental fitness builds all of these practices.
For example, if you’re excited about a presentation that you’re going to give in the company you work for. You would rehearse your slides and a co-worker would point out a flaw in you’re strategy that you’ve not thought about after putting in weeks of hard work in preparing. Do you have time to rethink your entire presentation?
All isn’t lost in this case, heating the potential pitfalls can help you prepare for a well-rounded presentation. When we imagine the worst-case scenario, helps get you into a solution focused mindset instead of panicking it requires mental strength.
Instead of throwing the whole presentation away or calling in sick before the whole presentation maybe try and add another slide.
In many ways mental strength and mindfulness is the other side of anxiety in action.
When you think about what anxiety is and why it exists, those uncomfortable emotions do serve a purpose. Anxiety is designed to alert us to potential threats so we can find ways to overcome them. But it becomes unhelpful when those feelings paralyze us.
Mental strength helps us resist paralysis and push back against the forces we fear and anxious feelings. When we build mental strength we are better able to reframe the anxiety and hear what it’s trying to tell us. What outcomes do we need to think through, what’s the worst-case scenario and how to prepare for it to maximize out chances of success.
When become mentally strong we have less stress, as well as motivation, poor mental strength zaps our energy and motivation.
Becoming mentally strong gives us better discretion in life. Part of being successful in life requires us to know who to listen to and who not to listen to. It’s easy to get thrown off by both internal and external criticisms. When we are mentally strong its easier to stay focused even when people disagree with you or your anxious.
When we are mentally strong we are less afraid of failure. Even when we become worried it’s easier to shift into problem-solving mode. And we become more adaptable to look for solutions which make us more agile. We spend less time dwelling in what’s going well and more time focused on how we can achieve the desired outcome.
Developing mental strength means cultivating practices in the following ways:
1. Mindfulness
When you practice mindfulness, you improve your ability to respond rather than rear. It empowers you to slow down the stimuli-reaction loop so you can choose a response that works for you. Over time, this skill will become second nature when you least expect it, but most need it.
There are many kinds of mindfulness practices, like mindful breathing, walking mediation or listening to mindfulness meditation online or by cd. Or meditation for anxiety and relaxation. I personally listen to the Jewish guided meditations on YouTube. They seem to work the best for me.
2. Work with a life coach or counselor.
I usually don’t recommend professional help because it’s experience. But if you can’t seem to work things out on your own. It’s the best thing for you. They can be helpful in developing mental strength. The battle were most often fight happens in our heads.
3. Keep a journal
If you want to check in on your mental strength on a regular basis. Keeping a journal is a great idea. It can help you keep tabs on your personal growth over time and build self-esteem. This method helped me the most out of everything I’ve done to build mental strength.
There are no rules for what you can put in your journal. Free writing for several minutes lets you dump everything that’s stuck in your brain. You can set goals, or make notes of any stressors that a overwhelming. Writing things down helps our brains begin to work through our challenges.
4. Practice self-compassion
Many people think that they’ll somehow be more productive if they beat themselves up, but that’s not the case. Building self-compassion actually helps build resilience. Focusing on what we do well, instead of our failures keeps us in a growth mindset while avoiding a downward spiral. It helps us to say, “That didn’t go well, but here’s what I learned, and how can I do better next time.”
5. Get out of your comfort zone
I’d you want to know if you’ve developed core skills of mental toughness. Throw yourself in the deep end. Like many skills, mental strength can’t be mastered without practice. There comes a time when you have to do something new, unfamiliar, or scary, and that’s a good thing.
It doesn’t matter how small it is, sign up for a class, or go for coffee with someone who intimidates you. Whatever it is pay attention to how you respond when the scary feelings come up. Then respond to them as you would respond to a good friend. Learning that you are capable of doing hard things and might enjoy them is a plus.
6. Develop a daily routine
If you were building physical strength requires you to go to the gym. Just as building mental strength helps us reinforce new skills that you practice. Take some time to build mental strength as you would building physical strength.
7. Keep your connections strong
One of the strongest predictors of life satisfaction is our relationships with others. Don’t try to build mental strength alone. We need support to get through anything life throws at us. It’s important to have some fun in life and spend time with the people who make you happy. Joy insulates us against stress and keeps us going when we want to give up the fight.
Mental strength isn’t just about pushing forward, just as physical strength isn’t about working out all the time. It’s about finding a balance of work and play.