Righteous Anger VS Unrighteous Anger

Understanding the difference between righteous and unrighteous anger is crucial, as the two emotions are often confused. Righteous anger is motivated by a deep sense of justice and love for others, and its ultimate goal is to bring positive change. Unrighteous anger on the other hand, his driven by selfishness, pride, or a desire for revenge, and its ultimate goal is to harm others or assert control.

Some critical differences between righteous anger and unrighteous anger include the following:

  • Righteous anger seeks to correct injustice or wrongdoing, but unrighteous anger aims to harm or punish others.
  • Righteous anger is patient and controlled while unrighteous anger is impulsive and destructive.
  • Human anger may often be sinful in origin and expressive, but divine anger is always righteous.

Righteous anger is an emotion God allows us to experience when injustice or wrong is done. We can use it as a tool to speak up for truth and stand up against evil. Scripture shows us examples of righteous anger, like Jesus turning over the tables of the sellers that were stealing from the people in the temple in John 2:13-17.

Unrighteous anger is an emotion rooted in selfishness and pride. It often leads to hurtful words and actions that cause damage beyond repair. So how can we tell if anger is righteous or unrighteous? The answer lies in our motivation for being anger. Are we mad because someone has wronged us or because we want what’s best for them?

The Bible says all types of sin are wrong, and warns against letting our emotions control us (James 1:19-20. When we make sure our actions comes from a place of love and wisdom rather than out of spite or revenge, our efforts can be seen as more acceptable in God’s eyes.

Righteous anger must always be tempered with wisdom and restraint. Unrighteous anger leads to destruction and heartache, and should be avoided at all costs.

There are benefits to righteous anger:

Righteous anger helps us stand up for what is right. It can move us to apathy and inaction to speaking out against injustice and standing up for those mistreated or oppressed.

There are examples of people like Moses and David where righteous anger inspired the, to act for God’s people.

Righteous anger helps us focus on our purposes . If we become to comfortable with our circumstances or too complacent with what’s going on around us, it can be easy to get distracted and forget why we are here in the first place. Righteous anger keeps us motivated and pushing forward toward our goals instead of getting stuck in mediocrity.

Righteous anger also gives us strength and courage to face opposition and continue fighting for what is right even when it feels like no one else will join us.

In 2 Chronicles 20:15, King Jehoshaphat faced an enemy invasion, and he prayed to God, asking Him to give him courage through His spirit of righteousness. And we can similarly rely on God’s spirit of character when we face any opposition or difficulty in our lives.

God wants us to live a life of passion and energy -energy that comes with knowing what we should fight for and having the courage to go after it.

To harness the power of righteous anger for personal growth and social change it’s essential that we:

  • Recognize the difference between righteous anger and unrighteous anger by understanding the essence of righteous anger meaning and distinguishing it from unrighteous we can make sure anger is directed towards positive change rather than destructive ends.
  • Cultivate empathy and compassion. Developing a deep sense of empathy and compassion for others will help to fuel righteous anger and drive ourselves to take action against injustice and wrongdoing.
  • Take purposeful action. Rather than allowing anger to consume us, we need to channel it into action that addresses the root cause of the injustice and wrongdoing that has sparked our anger. This could involve speaking out and working to effect change within our community or society.

In scripture there are several examples of righteous anger becoming unrighteous. One of those examples are in In 2 Samuel 6:7, King David was angry about how the ark of the covenant was being mishandled and he acted impulsively and angrily. As a result, Uzzah died. This is an example of how unchecked rage can lead to tragic consequences.

So how do we keep our emotions from taking control? First we should pause and think before responding out of anger. Consider what’s really at the root of your feelings, and take time to cool off before you respond. Second, look for ways to turn your negative energy into something productive and use it as a motivation to make a positive change or create something new. Then pray for wisdom on how to deal with your emotions in a healthy way.

This doesn’t mean that we should never express our feelings; it just means that you must be mindful of when our emotions are getting the best of us. If we don’t pay attention to unchecked emotions it can cause more harm than good.

We have to remember that God is the ultimate judge. And we should never act like one who determines whether someone else is right or wrong. That’s God’s job. Before we speak or act out of our emotions, we must stop and give God the space to work in the situation.

It’s all too common to be angry about the right thing, only to express anger in a way that is excessive or over the top. Perhaps the easiest gauge of this is whether we address the problem or attack the people that are involved.

Ambitious DIY projects

Describe the most ambitious DIY project you’ve ever taken on.

I don’t delve into many do-it-yourself projects. But usually around the holidays I bake and make gift baskets for gifts. During the fall I make elderberry wine. To share with family and close friends.

With inflation going through the roof, last year this sure helped my budget. Once I learned how to make gift baskets and saw how easy they are to make I will never buy a gift basket again. With a few practice tries I was able to shrink the wrap like a professional.

All it takes is time to make gift baskets, and wine. Something I have anyway. With the world becoming so expensive it is imperative that we come up with a few things to save money.

Recently I been trying my hand at making my own coffee creamer and a few other things that are extremely expensive in the stores.

Guidelines To Point To God’s Will

When the Bible talks about God’s will, it is usually referring to one of two different things: God’s sovereign will or God’s prescriptive will.

God’s Sovereign Will

In one sense God’s will is something that will always happen no matter what. When God states something will happen it does. No person could have stopped Jesus from dying on the cross for the sins of the world. That was God’s will, and it was going to come to pass no matter what.

We can not change God’s ultimate plans. In times of uncertainty we can remember the God’s will is permanent once we become a child of God, nothing can separate us from His love.

The apostle Paul puts it this way in Romans 39:38-39, “For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities (demons), nor things present, not things to come, nor power, nor height, nor depth, nor any created thing will be able to separate us from God’s love which is in Messiah Yeshua our Lord.

God’s Prescriptive Will

The other aspect of God’s will is what He asks His people to do. God has given many commands to His people, but He allows pay choice, whether or not to obey His commands. There are many instances of God’s will recorded throughout the Bible. There are no specific commands for every possible situation in our lives, but understanding God’s character through His words and specific commands enables us to seek His will in any situation.

When we know God’s will, we can choose to obey or disobey Him, but ultimately God is in control. Our disobedience cannot derail God’s plan.

The fundamental truth you need to know is that God is not just guiding you from the outside. If you have entrusted your life to Jesus, His Holy Spirit lives within you.

After Jesus was raised from the dead, He appeared to His disciples – His closest followers. They we afraid of what lay ahead of them, and Jesus knew that He was about to return to His father in heaven.

But rather than leave them with detailed instructions about everything they needed to do, He gave then the ultimate gift and source of guidance. He promised that His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, would come and guide them.

Jesus has given the same gift, His Holy Spirit, to all who have believed in Him since.

It is vital to remember that the Holy Spirit lives within you. This is the foundation on which the Holy Spirit tells you what He was from God and makes it known to His children.

There are many ways to seek God’s will. And it will take time to learn how to listen to the Holy Spirit.

Surrendering Your Desires:

As you seek God’s will, it is important to be sure you are fully open to what God wants. If you have already decided what to do and are coming to God so He can approve your decision, you are not really seeking His will.

You may have something in mind that you think is best or that you want to happen. That’s okay. Just make sure to acknowledge that you are biased toward a certain decision or outcome. Think through why you feel more drawn to one particular option. Don’t mistake your own thoughts, desires or plans for God’s voice,

To really understand what God is saying to you, be open to Him guiding you in any direction. When our desire to follow God outweighs our desire for a certain outcome, then we will be able to hear from God.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart’s desires.” This does not mean you will get what you want in every situation. But if your ultimate desire is a closer relationship with God you will always get that desire when you genuinely seek His will.

It’s important not to ignore your emotions and desires when seeking God’s will. God gives you emotions and desires, so listening to them is part of the process. But don’t let them cloud your vision as you consider different sources of guidance.

Also, learn to surrender your desire to please other people. The apostle Paul says in Galatians 1:10, “I’m not trying to win the approval of people but of God. If pleasing people were my goal. I would not be Christ’s servant. (NLT).

Consider how your choices will impact other people, but don’t make a decision just to please someone else. Following God will not always make everyone else happy, so be willing to disappoint others in your pursuit of God’s will.

Mediate On God’s Will:

Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to me feet, and a light for my path.” The Bible can light the way as you choose your next steps.

When you make a decision, it should live up with, or as least not contradict, what God has said through the Bible. As you read scripture, you will understand more about God’s character and be better able to know what He wants, Just as you know the things that please your close family and friends, you will learn what pleases God as you get to know Nim better.

Request the temptation to randomly open the Bible expecting to find the answer in whatever you read first. You may or may not find something that seems relevant, but it’s not the same sd understanding God’s word and applying its direct decision.

When you find a relevant verse, read the other verses around it or the rest of the chapter for context, to make sure it really applies to your situation.

I always pray before I begin reading in the Bible. For God to help me understand His Words.

Spend Focused Time In Prayer

The most obvious answer for knowing God’s will is to ask Him. Turn to God in prayer and ask Him what He wants you to do.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God,, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given go him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind” -James 1:5-6 (NKJV).

God’s desire is for us to know His will. So when you ask, expect Him to answer.

Make sure ng big decisions can cause anxiety and worry, but we can turn to God with all of our fears and uncertainties.

Philippians 4:6-7 tells us. “In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with Thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and thoughts on Messiah Yeshua.”

I find it helpful to write down the sense of direction I get from God over time. This helps avoid being overly influenced by your most recent thoughts. And second-guessing yourself. Too often your thoughts dominate our thinking and have the most influence,

If you have mature believers around you, talk to them. About your situation and God’s will. This can give another perspective.

Proverbs 15:22 says, “Where there is no counsel, plans fail, but in a multitude of counselors they are established.”

Ask people to you trust to pray about your decision. Follow up with them to see if they sense God’s leading in a certain way. You are ultimately the one responsible for you decisions, and you can not rely exclusively on what other people say. There may be biases of their own clouding their vision,

Consider Your Circumstances

God, not circumstances should guide your decision making. But God may use events in your life to point you in a certain direction. Sometimes your decision is made for you. For example, when a job or college application is rejected, God has likely closed that door.

Not all obstacles are closed doors. Some are just things we need to overcome the as we follow God.

Think Through Your Decision Logically

The Holy Spirit can direct your mind and reasoning. But sometimes we are so focused on hearing from God that we forget to use reason and common sense.

Sometimes you need to decide before you have a clear pattern. If you are truly seeking God’s will, He will guide you, whether it not you realize it at the time.

Philippians 2:13 tells us God is working on us, giving us the desire and the power to do what pleases Him. God will give you strength and courage to do whatever He calls you to do. You are not alone.

Whatever the outcome, remember God is still in control. Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps.”

Purpose Prayer

If you have ever found yourself wondering about your purpose in life. Here are some prayers for inspiration.

Prayer For Finding Purpose

Father God, I come to you today with a heartfelt of questions and a soul yearning for direction. I feel lost and unsure about my purpose in life. Open my eyes, Lord, to see the path you have laid for me. Help me to recognize the gifts you have given me and how I can use them to serve others. Amen

Psalm 57:2 says, I cry out to God Most High, to God who accomplishes my requests for me.”

This is key in understanding God’s purpose for our lives. God has numbered our days and will fulfill every purpose He has for us. However, our choices and actions really matter.

A good tip after praying for any prayer is to wait in silence for God to speak for 10 minutes.

We do not hear God’s voice because our minds are clouded with too many distractions. It’s easy in today we get so busy with things we drown out God’s voice.

3 Types Of People

There are 3 types of people that come into our lives.

1.The Leaf People

2.The Branch People

3. The Root People

Leaf People:

These are people who come into your life for a season. You can’t depend on them because they are weak. They only come to take what they want, but if the wind comes they will leave.

You need to be careful of these people because they love you when things are good, but when the wind storm comes they will leave you.

Branch People:

They are strong, but you need to be careful with them too. They break away when life becomes tough and they can’t handle too much weight. They may stay with you in some seasons, but they will go when it they feel life gets harder for you.

Root People:

These people are very important because they don’t do things to be seen. They are supportive even if you go through difficult times. They will water you and are not moved by your position they just love you are you are,

Permanently Remove A Word

If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

If I could permanently ban a word that word would be “hate.”

I hate you, I hate Mondays, and I hate when that happens I have that sound and it goes on and on.

This word sort of rolls off of our tongues, doesn’t it? We hear the word hate so much that it no longer be longer has much meaning.

Hate should be powerful. I should have an impact, it should slam into us and knock us over with its intention.

When I think of the word hate, I think of hate crimes which symbolize true hatred directed at someone and has an impact. The word hate comes with a lot of baggage.

Whatever happened to words like dislike? Why do we choose the word hate? Do we use the word hate so we can quickly move on toward something else?

Using the word hate too much can make you come off as cynical or angry. It’s an easy word to replace in our daily language, instead of saying you “hate” that person, movie, or song, just say you “don’t like it.

Passing The Tests

God tests us with stress before He trusts us with success.

Some prayers are answered immediately, but others take weeks months, or even years. You probably already know this to be true. But the good news is while we’re praying for God’s answer, you’re going to learn some things that we can’t learn any other way.

In the waiting, there is a blessing. I prayed for my marriage to be successful for years. But he answered. One thing I’ve learned over the years is God will heal us spiritually before He will heal any other part of us. While I was working on the prayer, God was working on me.

When you are going through trials, do ever why are your ever going through it? It’s for testing and purification. As you pray about your situation over and over again, you face tests that reveal more about you.

God says in Zachariah 13:9, “I will refine them like silver and purify them like Gold.”

Gold is tested by putting it in a big vat and heated until it gets so hot that all the impurities are burnt off. Metalsmiths know when gold and silver are put when they can see their reflection in them.

God can see His reflection in you when all the impurities have burned out of your life. After you have been through the fire, He says that, He done the testing and purification.

“They will call on my name and I will answer them” – Zachariah 13:9

Answered prayer comes after the test. Before the blessing, there is testing. God tests us with stress before He trusts us with success. These are the principles of persistent prayer.

During the tests we learn a lot about ourselves. If we give up praying, we’re never going to learn the lessons that help us become more like Jesus.

It’s not until we pass the testing, that our blessings will come.

My Biggest Challange

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

My biggest challenge will be to become the best version of myself. To stay true to myself and my values. And make sure I’m doing what brings me a sense of happiness, purpose, and meaning.

My biggest challenge will be to get myself out of my comfort zone. Which includes flying. My son is working 500 miles away, instead of 2000. I am excited that I will get to see him.

Not Peace, But A Sword

Jesus is the Prince of Peace. He is described that way prophetically in Isiah 9:6. He gives us “peace that surpasses under“ (Philippians 4:7). However, we must understand that being His disciple will not always be a peaceful life.

Mathew 10:34-39 says, “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be those of his own household; He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me, and he who does not cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

The Prince of Peace came to bring conflict on the earth.

We are soldiers in the Lord’s army. 2+Timothy 2:3 says, “You, therefore, must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

“It is a soldier’s job to fight. We must be willing to wage the good warfare” -1 Timothy 1:18.

Faithful disciples are engaged in an ongoing warfare with the forces of darkness.

The American people have been told that we are now in a war against terrorism that we should not expect to be over any time in the foreseeable future. We all have enemies in the world and we will have to be prepared to deal with them at home and abroad.

It’s the same way in the believer’s war against Satan and the forces of evil in the world.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against the rulers of darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in heavenly places.

War between morality and immorality

War against truth and error

War between God’s will and Satan’s devices

Believers should expect opposition. Something is wrong with us if we do not encounter resistance from the other side.

“Woe to you when all me speak well of you. For solid their fathers to the false prophets“ -Luke 6:26

Jesus’s love for the church gives us a patten for the way a husband should love his wife.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Messiah also loved the assembly, and gave Himself up for it” -Ephesians 5:25.

If we follow Jesus’s teachings, we have a perfect recipe for happiness in the home.

Families often interfere with a person’s choice to follow Jesus.

Parents object to children becoming believers in Christ. This is especially difficult when the child is young and still lives at home and is dependent on parents for care and support.

Partners try to interfere with spouses faith.

Hostility and mistreatment sometimes comes. Members of our own families may become our enemies because of Jesus. It is hard when you’re young and are forced to choose between the Lord and loved ones in their own families.

When conflicts come God must come first.

To be worthy of God, we have to be willing to bear our crosses for him. Cross bearing means enduring heavy burdens because of God.

“Come to Me, all who labor, and are heavily burdened , and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you will find rest for your souls”- Matthew 11:28-30.

This is true with regard to the burden of sin. However, Jesus did not say that being a Christian wad without cost…or even that the price was small. Every Christian must pay a price to follow Jesus, but the price that it paid is nothing in comparison with the cost that Jesus paid in purchasing the church with His blood (Acts 20:28).

“He who finds his life will lose it and he who loses it for My sake will save it“ – Matthew 10:39.

The first life is what is found by the person looking for success and accomplishment in the here and now.

The rich farmer in Luke 12: 19 found this kind of life.

“And I will say Tony soul, Soul you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry.”

That kind of life will eventually be lost.

Wealthy people don’t all lose their wealth and die penniless.

The attitude which causes a person to put earthly things above heavenly things cause them to lose out on the most important kind of life -spiritual life. Such a person may die surrounded by a large loving family, a bunch of helpful friends, and a great collection of material things -but they are lost without God.

Many people in the early centuries of the church’s existence literally gave their lives for the cause of God. From Stephen onward through the years, people held firmly to the cross of Christ even when it cost them physical life. God’s people in the Asian city of Smyrna were encouraged to be faithful unto death and promised “I will give you the crown of life.” (Revelation 2:10). They traded physical -this world life for spiritual, eternal life.

Jesus does not require that we die physically because of persecution. Anyone who does in the Lord is blessed (Revelation 14;23), no matter whether the death is violent or from natural causes. But Jesus does require that we crucify self and let Jesus live in us.

In Galatians 2:20 it says, “I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I but Christ that lives in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself to for me.”

Self-satisfied church members who are at ease in Zion, are not worthy to be Jesus’s disciples. Christ must be living in us and be the controlling force in our lives.

We can’t be intellectually lazy so that we do not want to study and learn. Contrary to some people’s thinking, we don’t have everything figured out yet. And we still need to be learning.

We can’t be emotionally lazy because being in Christ requires an investment of the heart as well as the mind. Even when we gather for worship it isn’t enough to do the job as a matter of routine. God must be worshipped in spirit and truth. (John 4:24).

We can’t be physically lazy because being a true believer requires action. We must be doers of the word (James 1:22). We must always be ready to do Jesus’s work on earth.

The End Time Jesus

The most common impression of Jesus is that of a loving, tender, compassionate Savior. But there is another side to the “coin” -the one portrayed in Revelation 19:11.

The is one of the most awesome scenes in the Bible that reads as follows:

I saw the heaven open up, and behold a white horse, and He who sat on it is called Faithful and True. In righteousness, He judges and makes war. His eyes are a flame of fire and on His head many crowns. He has names written and a name written no one knows but He Himself. He is clothed in a garment sprinkled with blood. His name is called “The Word of God.” The armies which are in heaven followed Him on white horses, clothed in white, pure, fine linen. Out if His mouth proceeds, double-edged sword, that with it He should strike the nations. He will rule them with an iron rod. He treads the time press of the fierceness of the wrath of God, the Almighty. He had on His garment and on His thigh a name written, “KING OF KINGS, AND LORD of LORDS.

This sense begins with John using the expression which asserts that his message is of divine origin. He saw “heaven opened” (Revelation 4:1; Ezekiel 1:1). The events of earth are under the sovereign control of Him who orchestrates His will from heaven, and the apostle John was given a preview of the final conflict.

John uses his characteristic “behold” 26 times in Revelation to get our attention to the narrative, and to awaken us to what he is about to describe.

The Holy Warrior

The main subject of the vision was on the “white horse. “White” in Revelation suggests either purity or victory. In this case it stands for victory.

The rider is no doubt Jesus as He is the designated as the “Word of God, who John identifies as the Lord Jesus. In John 1:1, 14; 1 John 1:1, Jesus is the divine Word because He is the thought and voice of heaven to humanity (John 1:28; 14:8). The will of God for mankind cannot be ascertained apart from th mission of Jesus of Nazareth.

Jesus is further characterized as “Faithful” because He was loyal to the will of His Father. It was Jesus’s perfect life that qualified Him to be the atoning sacrifice for sin (1 Peter 1:18-19). He is “True’ as a witness of the Will of God to our blighted face (Revelation 1:5; 3:7, 14).

The Purpose Of His Mission

John sets forth the mission of Jesus (the heavenly warrior). In righteousness, He judges and makes war.

When Jesus came the first time, His purpose was to inaugurate the redemption for Adam’s fallen family. As He Himself said, “For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the works through Him might be saved” (John 3:17). Once that mission of mercy was implementedeed, no further plan was to be offered. Aside from Jesus, there is no other sacrifice for sin (Hebrews 10:26).

When Jesus comes again, He will not come on a mission of mercy, but He will arrive for judgment and the destruction of the ungodly. It’s important to know the connection between “judge” and “make war.” These two things occur simultaneously. The war is the day of judgment. (2 Corinthians 5:10; 2 Thessalonians 1:7).

The wrath of God will be poured out as a prelude to a holy war. The major enemies of truth are the dragon, the beast, and the false prophet will be gathered “unto the war of the great day of God” (Revelation 16:14). Designated as Armageddon the most famous battlefield in history. Which becomes a symbol for the conflict that is to take play on the final day of this world’s existence.

Jesus came like a lamb, but is coming back as a Lion

My Teenage Self

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

If I wrote a letter of advice to my teenage self. I would tell her to get better grades and stop partying so much. So, I could go to college and fulfill my dreams, instead of working at minimum wage jobs. And not get married so young. That I have so many opportunities at my young age, and not to waste those opportunities.

Our choices determine who we become. It’s important to think about the consequences of our actions.

Self-Abandonment

Are you the type of person who is always trying to make other people happy even at the cost of your own happiness, needs, or feelings? Are you someone who says “Yes,” even though you really want to say “No.” Are you a person that does things that you actually don’t agree with?

I was taught by my mother, that my feelings didn’t matter. I had to go a long with whatever everyone else wanted. To say yes when I wanted to say no. This is called self-abandonment. I lived this way for many years because that’s what I was taught to do. The problem is that this type of living, drains you of happiness. You get exhausted and weary.

Self-abandonment refers to a set of self-destructive behaviors. It’s a rejection of your own thoughts, feelings and desires in favor of the ones of other people. They are usually learned behaviors that stem from childhood and negatively affect your mental health. It leads to anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues.

There are some common signs and characteristics of self-abandonment.

1. Dismissing your needs

The first sign is if you constantly dismiss your own needs. People who self-abandon tend to distrust their own instincts. When something does not sit well with you, or does not feel good, you tend to dismiss your gut feeling and go along with someone else needs or priorities. You probably second-guess yourself, overthink, and tend to reframe things at your own cost and detriment.

2. Seeking external validation

As a person who self-abandons you probably seek external validation. You do not think that you are enough, important, successful, smart, or lovable, and you ask for validation from others. It is important for you that other people approve of you. But, of course, as you might already know, any external approval, if it is not accompanied by internal acceptance and approval does not stay long with you. It just stays temporarily and then you keep seeking approval over and over.

3. Hiding yourself

Another thing that you might be doing is hiding some part of yourself. This means that even though you might like or dislike something if it does not resonate with the people around you, you hide it. So, you are essentially living in a relationship with your fake self or with only part of yourself, and not with your true authentic self. You give up hobbies, interests, goals, dreams, passions, feelings, and needs. All the while making space for those of another person not for the ones that you truly and authentically connected with.

4. Being a perfectionist

Being a perfectionist with yourself, and holding yourself up to high standards that you can never meet. You might think that you are never enough for other people and you always need to try more. This eventually leads to exhaustion or to feeling resentful. A person to self-abandons themselves make extreme sacrifices for other people, but in many cases, the people around might not appreciate or even see your efforts and sacrifices you make for them.

5. Sup pressing your feelings

The last sign of self-abandonment is suppressing your feelings, especially the uncomfortable feelings. This happens because you probably think that there is no space in a relationship or in the moment for these feelings, so you hide them under the rug. You might feel like you are asking too much from others, that you will be a burden, hurt someone, or bring them into an uncomfortable situation. So, you decide to put all these emotions in a box and hide them somewhere deep within you. You decide to only show a happy and positive facade because you think this is what other people want or need. As you neglect and abandon a big part of your feelings you forget how important these feeling are at your core.

Self-abandonment did start yesterday. It stems from childhood. It usually begins the moment we realize that there is no space for us, our needs, and our feelings. It starts when you reach our to a person from the family and did not get support. When we don’t receive validation in some cases it returns with abuse., or rejection. That’s the moment we realize that our needs are not important. So, we start giving more space to others and suffocate or emotional needs.

Self-abandonment becomes a way of surviving. But as adults it is a way of attracting toxic relationships or developing codependency and other unhealthy patterns that are undesirable for mental wellbeing.

We must learn how to untangle these unhealthy patterns and stop self-abandoning ourselves.

Learning to reconnect our needs and feelings, practicing self-compassion and learning to say no are good practices to master.