The Job I’ve Always Dreamed Of

What’s your dream job?

The job I’ve always dreamed of was being a psychologist. I love helping others with their mental health as well as showing them hope you cope in life.

I have experienced a lot of mental health issues in my life, due to my mother and my mistakes I’ve made over the years. I has taken a lot to heal and cope with those issues.

The reason I started this blog was to try and help people through some tough experiences and not to make the same mistakes I’ve made in life.

If I had life to do all over again I think I would get a psychology degree and do what I love professionally.

Don’t Victimize Yourself

Victimizing ourselves is a terrible disservice to our hearts. Yet is so easy to do. When you turn yourself into a victim it’s because the world has been to much, it like a frightening and sometimes paralyzing force that follows you around everywhere you go. When hit start to feel sorry for yourself, it’s important to know that it doesn’t have to be that way.

Although you might not see it, there’s a different option than being depressed or acting like nothing happened at all. You may not be able to change the events that happened, but what you might not see is that there is someone who doesn’t see you as a victim of the world. In fact, He knows everything about you. He knows your heart and how much you want to have hope. He knows what you’re afraid of and He knows what keeps you awake at night. He has lived you even before He made you.

It took me nearly 40 years to learn that, mostly because of by stubborn attitude and thinking I was right. I used to think that love was a handout only given by people who wanted to take advantage of me. But sometimes it’s a blessing. Other times love is a lesson. The past can’t be changed, but it hardens you to be a better person in the long run.

We are not an army of one, and we can not do everything alone. I used to think I could do everything on my own, mostly because I didn’t trust anyone. It was easier to put the walls up and push everyone away. Then it was to trust and get hurt. But the fact is if you want to feel love you also have to feel pain.

Fortunately, God always has a plan. He wants to put you in a better place. He wants to use us for His purpose. I thank God every day that He likes to Repurpose us, or I wouldn’t have had a chance. He hangs out with us when things get rough. Sometimes we don’t feel Him there but He’s always there, watching out for us, protecting us. When we need somebody to hold on to God is always there. He’s got us covered, He’s the one that keeps our heads above water. He doesn’t want us hurting, like a good father God will comfort us. We need only ask.

There’s something about the name of Jesus. Even when I have felt my weakness, that I couldn’t go on. All I would have to say was “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. And I would feel comforted. Many nights I went to bed crying and having no hope. But saying Jesus three times comforted me.

The things we go through are blessings in disguise. We don’t realize how we are being built up through the battering we are feeling. God wants to see strong people who know that they can endure trials and come out of it all. James 1:12 says “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him.”

Sometimes our problems come in the shape of the people in our lives who just won’t let us be, it’s so easy for someone else with a bad attitude to steal our peace. Just know that God will handle them with His timing and power. When we give the problem to Him. He will fight our battles.

The greatest thing about God and one of the craziest is that His love never ceases. He had literally loved us from before we were born. Isaiah 44:24 tells us, “Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, who formed you from the womb: ‘I am the Lord who made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself.”

No matter what mistakes we make. He sees us as His beautiful creation. He loves us so much He sent His Son go die for us so that we never have to bear shame or guilt ever again.

When we learn this, it’s like we finally get to breathe again. We have felt the burdens, but they do not become us.

The weight can get pretty heavy at times, but when it becomes too much to bear. It’s great to know that God will gladly come in and take it off our hands. Let Him in and let Him take over the things you can’t handle on your own.

When we choose to believe in Him and trust in Him our life becomes so much easier.

And it only took me about 40 years to figure that out. But I’m so glad I finally did.

You’re never a victim, you are a precious treasure of God Himself. Jesus will carry you, and you will survive through the grace of God’s love.

What Makes A Good Leader?

What makes a good leader?

A good leader is a strong leader but it’s something almost everyone has an opinion on. I see a good leader who has decisiveness. The ability to make decisions, particularly under pressure is an important skill to master. Once a decision is made they should have the ability to defend it.

No one enjoys working with a person they can’t trust. This is also true in leadership. A good leader should be honest, and be able to listen to people’s problems without making judgement. And that trust needs to be genuine.

A good leader must be able to empower others. Being able to obtain z high-level position, a good leader will realize their employees are their employees for a reason -that they are experts in their respective fields, and as a leader, it’s important to trust they that will deliver.

A good leader must have clear communication. Which is the key to success. Having a vision and a way to achieve that vision in one thing, but it’s also important to ensure they have communicated that vision clearly with it’s employees so that you can all work towards the same goal.

Last but not least they must have resilience. A good leader must always be prepared to get back up each time they get knocked down, being in a position of authority does not come without challenges, so it’s critical not to dwell on short-term failures, but focus on what they learn and take away for future reference.

The Privilege Of Planting A Seed

“I planted. Apollos watered. But God gave the increase. So neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. He who plants and he who waters are the same, but each will receive his own reward according to his own labor” -1 Corinthians 3:6-8

These words are right with meaning for the true believer. They remind us of the privilege and responsibility we have to plant seeds of faith in the lives of people around us. But what happens with those seeds is not in our control. Only God controls that.

In the above scripture, Paul tells us that “God makes the seed grow.” While that takes the load off our shoulders we still have the responsibility of planting and watering those seeds.

Here’s an example, Imagine cutting an apple in half. Inside you see the yellowish apple flesh, and in the center are several seeds. Now imagine removing just one carefully and gently. We can plant this one seed and water it regularly and we know that God will make a tree grow. We don’t have any idea how many apple seeds will be planted and watered from those apples. And it goes on and on and one.

When we plant seeds of faith it perpetuates the growth of God’s kingdom, as people become followers of Jesus. It perpetuates lifestyles that honor and obey God. It perpetuates goodness, kindness, and love in our homes, our neighborhoods, and the world.

We can be planting and watering seeds of faith everywhere we go and God will grow it into beautiful blossoms or maybe a towering tree of righteousness for His glory.

Isaiah 61 tells says, “The Lord God’s Spirit is on me; because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the humble. He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lords favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to provide for those who mourn in Zion, to give them garland for the ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He maybe gloried.

Each time you see a flower blooms, let it be a reminder of the tremendous privilege and responsibility we have to plant seeds of faith in the lives of people we know. Because it matters eternally.

Sometimes we exist long enough to lead the next generation; other times, only to plant a seed and lead it’s resonation of our time here on earth ripple into waves

A.J. Darkholme

The Devil And Your Past

One of the most common ways the devil attacks us is by making us relive our past. He recruits us to be his co-prosecutor against our own soul. If you have done something wrong, he will plague you with some thoughts of:

  • No hope no grace
  • Guilt for presuming upon God’s forgiveness
  • Others finding out and wanting to publicly deal with you and shame you
  • God’s discipline hanging over your head to strike you when you least expect it.
  • Mistakes that you’ve committed are unforgivable.
  • Your past makes you unusable to God
  • You should never feel at ease until you have paid your penalty

By re-living our past, the devil’s goal is to keep you from forgetting the mistakes in your past (ever). He wants us to forget our identity in Christ. He wants to keep us from rising up from the pit of despair.

There’s a quote that says “When people bring up your past, tell them Jesus already dropped the charges.” How many times does the devil bring up your past, and you begin to wallow in it. I could say over my life time times he’s tried it every day. And will until Jesus comes back.

Dwelling on your past causes you to skip out on seeing your Savior. And the longer we dwell on the glory of Jesus the more we will be like Him. And more able to learn the devil’s tactics the more weak we becomes.

You must remember that this is war. There is no neutral ground. As long as you are on this earth, the devil and his forces will seek you out.

He likes to pull up a specific memory from our past and until you defeat him he will continue to hound you with the thought. I believe that the devil’s favorite words are, “Remember When.” Oh you better hide that what would people think of you if they knew that?

He makes you think you’ve done an unforgivable sin. God doesn’t want you, you’re fooling yourself.

When you read the Bible, especially when Jesus deals with sinners with terrible pasts, do you see the Lord treating people this way? Do you see Him giving the command for His children to turn over every stone in their past until their sin is acknowledged to be dealt with in public? No.

He doesn’t tell them to fix their past and then I will accept you. He is gentle and lowly (Matthew 11:28-30). Does He seems like a Savior who would hound us who are overloaded by the crushing yoke of our past?

Why would we want to go from living a life where they do anything to forget their past sins to go to a savior who would hound us for the rest of our lives on earth with our past. I’s this freedom, love, and forgiveness?

The emotion we should naturally expect from finding Jesus is no doubt compassion. That is the most frequent thing attributed to Him.

That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t deal with our past that needs to be dealt with. That means He calls us to repentance. He is first and foremost compassionate when He does it, He is not harsh, rough, or domineering. He desires us to leave our past in the past so that we can begin to live by faith in the present. Living in the past entraps us in prison, God wants to free us from that prison.

He places our eyes on Him more than the past. But, once Deals with our past, He does not make us keep rehashing it over and over only the devil does that. God bids us time and time again to go on and live in the light of our full forgiveness in Jesus.

The Guiding Of God

Some of our decisions in life as so important that could they affect our future. The exciting journey begins when we walk in step with Jesus.

We are all faced with financial struggles, health concerns, and relationship issues and all kinds of other challenging situations. Whether we’ve researched every outlet to find a worldly resolution to them or not we still be confused about which road to take. And some problems may just seem beyond solving. We could all use someone who can us true and wise counsel, and there is only One who never guides us the wrong way.

God is a loving heavenly Father who is never too busy to listen to us when we come to Him for guidance. He’s given us a powerful promise in Psalm 32:8-11,

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go. I will counsel you with my eye on you. Don’t be like the horse, more like the mule, which have no understanding, who are controlled by bit and bridle, or else they will not come near to you. Many sorrows come to the wicked but loving kindness shall surround him who trusts in the Lord. Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you righteous! Shout for joy, to all you who are upright in heart!

If we come to Him seeking and believing in Him, He will give us instruction and teaching for every situation we are facing, and He never makes a mistake. He has complete knowledge in our circumstances knowing how it began and what the end will bring. Whether we obey Him or not.

God’s promises to instruct us and guide us is a message to followers of Jesus. The value of His promise depends on the character of the one who made it.

This is a divine commitment made by God, who never fails to keep His word. We never have to worry that He will not do as He said, because He speaks and acts from within His nature.

God gives us everything we need to know to make the right choice. He gives us instructions, teaching, counsel, and protection.

But He also warns those who will not listen, He tells us not to be stubborn we see this in Psalm 32:9. He tells us the sorrows of the wicked are many in Psalm 32:10.

Un-invent Something

If you could un-invent something, what would it be?

If I could un-invent something, it would be smart cell phones. The cell phone was intended to be a way to connect with other people. Sadly it has done the opposite.

Generations have become addicted to their phones. They are tied to their phones, they have a fear of the inability to receive or send texts. This addiction has gotten so bad people can check themselves into an addiction center.

Tame Your Tongue

We all choose our clothes more carefully than we do our words. I would like to say that isn’t the case, but sadly it’s true.

If we realized how powerful our words are, maybe we would think about what we’re saying. I always seem to realize what I’ve said, after I’ve said it. Guarding our mouths shouldn’t be a quote to throw around, but wisdom to live by.

The Bible tells us life and death is in the power of the tongue. Yet we put a lot of effort into cleaning ourselves up on the outside and don’t worry about the inside. God is more concerned about what’s on the inside.

Have you ever been having a conversation with a friend and a mutual contact comes into the talking and either you or the other person start “talking trash” about them. I’m sure we’ve all done it a time or two or a hundred.

In 1 Samual 16 God is talking to Samual about the newly appointed King David. Samual is examining the appearances of the sons of Jesse noticing their stature and strength, thinking God would choose one of them to be the King of Judah. God tells him,

“Don’t look on his face, or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for I don’t see as man sees. For man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

God is concerned more with our words because our words reflect the condition of our hearts.

What Comes Out Of Our Mouths Is What’s In Our Heart.

Our words are the fruit of what’s in our hearts. If we look at Luke chapter 6 Jesus teaches this lesson’s to His disciples, when teaching the Beatitudes. He says,

“For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good, and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings for of evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” – Luke 6:43-45

Have you ever wondered why lying is such a big deal? We like to think, if it doesn’t actually hurt someone, it’s not a big deal. But it’s a big deal, not because of what is hidden, but because of what is revealed. We can not live for Jesus if deception is at the root of our hearts.

It’s the same with hateful or hurtful words. It’s the impact on people on the receiving end of them.

When I was growing up my father always used o tell me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. I read an article that stated the Socrates used to say, “So you are certain that what you say is true, and it isn’t good or kind. One filter still remains, though, so you may yet still tell me. That is usefulness or necessity. Is this information useful or necessary to me?”

I think considering this before we speak we should ask ourselves:

  • Is it true?
  • Is it good?
  • Is it kind?
  • Is it useful?
  • Is it necessary to?

If it passes these filters, speak up. If not, either find a tactful way to make it pass the test or better still, keep it to yourself.

Many people leave it at that and assume that the story is just about the information we spread.

What is the real truth behind it, is it about the information we seek and create.

To guard our words effectively, we must diligently guard our hearts.

The world was created through words or language. So, our words are powerful. Our words sow either one or two seeds; life or death. And seeds produce a harvest of their own likeness. What we sow with our words, we create more of. Although we cannot speak and create worlds like He does. He has given us the ability to create with our words. We can edify, encourage, inspire, and uplift. But we can also tear down, condemn, humiliate, and uproot.

King Solomon was not kidding when he said, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will it’s it’s fruit” – Proverbs 18:21.

We will reap what our words sow. It is with our mouths that we profess our faith and are saved.

Feeling Loved

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

In order to feel love you must learn to love yourself. Feeling unconditional love means loving freely without expectations. I didn’t love myself for many years.

Only when I learned to love myself could I feel the love of another. My husband I know loves me, he stuck with me through many tough years. We have made mistakes in our marriage. But we are stronger because of it.

My example of feeling loved is knowing my husband has my back through thick and thin. Knowing that if I have a need I can tell him, and he will make sure it is taken care of.

Faith Over Fear

There are many things in the world that are unpredictable. We can go through fearful seasons, like losing our jobs, getting very sick or losing a loved one. We never know what tomorrow will bring. But we cannot live in fear. Joshua 1:9 says,

“Haven’t I commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Fear is normal. It’s in our nature to be afraid of things. Some people are afraid of tangible things, like spiders. Others are afraid of intangible things like being alone, or death. As humans, we are imperfect. Fear is a natural response to different situations that we are put in, but one thing is for certain we can choose how we respond to our fears.

We have a choice to let fear control us and run our lives. We can choose to live in fear and avoid situations or things that we’re afraid of. Or we can choose to face our fears and trust God will help us and save us from our fear. Psalm 118:6 tells us that, “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere man do to me?”

There will always be something that is more powerful over any fear, and that is faith. God is so much bigger than any fear. Whether our fears are big or small God is always greater.

I used to be a chronic worrier. I worried from the time I opened my eyes in the morning to when I closed my eyes. I worried about my children, my wellbeing. bills, the past, basically everything there was to worry about I worried about. I was a nervous wreck all the time.

One day I realized these things always worked out and I was stressing myself out for no reason. God promises to never leave us forsake us.

There are and always will be fear in our lives, but when we chose to have faith in God’s promises. Those fears seem to fade into the distance.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear on evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me“ -Psalm 23:4

Every day, we can offer up our worries to God in prayer. Hand them over to Him and trust Him to take care of those things. We can do this as many times as needed. When we surrender to God then we can experience God’s perfect peace,

Submit your worries to God and release them. Only then can He take your burden and give you rest.

Clutter

Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

I can definitely use some decluttering in my life literally. Trying to juggle multiple tasks simultaneously or rapidly switching between tasks can lead to mental clutter.

It divides our atty and prevent from fully engaging and focusing on one task at a time. Which causes emotional stress, anxiety, worry. Less clutter means that more mental resources are available.

Physical clutter leads to mental clutter. I’m pretty sure that why there’s a thing called “spring cleaning.” It a chance to get rid of all the garbage we’ve accumulated over the last year. Americans are very materialistic. Our love for “things” in our lives runs rampant.

Either way mental or physical clutter causes our stress, and anxiety levels to rise.

Serving Others

In the Bible, Jesus shows us how to serve others. We encourages us to follow His lead and serve one another.

Jesus never placed Himself in a position above others. He led by serving. He washed feet, fed thousands, and healed the sick. He spent time with those no one else cared to spend time with. Jesus lived a life of humility.

Jesus showed us that humility and serving go hand in hand. Paul tells us in Philippians 2:3-5,

“Do nothing through rivalry or through conceit, but in humility, each country others better than himself.“

Serving others is more than keeping up with a to-do list. We can write down anything. If we write down “check on Peggy today” and we don’t do it, or our heart isn’t into it -it means nothing. To be a servant we have to genuinely care about others, and keep our eyes on our hearts, and our schedules open for God to move.

Jesus didn’t get stressed by time, or what others thought on Him, He didn’t need a list of tasks to accomplish each day. He was led by God and followed His promoting to serve, love, and help others. There was no task beneath Jesus. And no person was even unworthy.

Serving others and genuine love go hand in hand, but how many times do we make excuses so we won’t have to be put out by helping others. He do we let go of our to-do list, of position ourselves to act humbly.

We all do it and make excuses. I’ve run into the grocery store and gotten in a few things and seen someone struggling and tell myself “I’m in too big of a hurry to help, someone else will do it.” And then feel conviction as I am driving home. I promise myself and God that next time I will help someone who needs help. How many times do I have to tell myself “next time” and not do it. We are put here to serve God to serve others.

If our hearts are struggling to love others, we need to ask Jesus to help us change. And be open to allowing Him to help us. Ask Him to soften our edges and teach us to love others with kindness and compassion.

Maybe we can look at our schedules, and see if we are doing so much that we can’t help others it’s too much. If we can free up some time to spend listening to what God wants us to do. Instead of rushing all day.

We can get up a few minutes early and talk to God about our day. I ask Him to give me the opportunity to bless one person every day.

This doesn’t mean I take every opportunity that has presented itself to me, but to ask God if He wants me to help that person. Part of being a true believer is listening for His voice and then obeying what He says to us. Being a true believer is putting our faith into action.