From Pity to Praise

No matter how many college degrees or what kind of education we have received, there are some things that only life can teach us. Lessons from the “school of life.”

Friedrich Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

The meaning of purpose:

We may graduate with honors and choose a great career, but it can still make us feel unfulfilled. We need to learn the importance of finding meaning and purpose in our lives that go beyond the realm of a career and a good education.

How to be independent:

We need to learn how to be independent. To find ourselves, we must learn to think for ourselves.

We have to learn how to stand on our own two feet. We can’t rely on others to guide us forever. Until we take responsibility for ourselves because the world is against us, and we have to be prepared for it. No one is better equipped to answer your own questions but you.

We can’t control time:

We can’t control time. Life has a way of teaching us that we won’t always get what we want right away. No matter how well our management skills are, or hoe good we are at predicting the future. If it’s not our time, we can do nothing about it.

Moving on from failure:

Moving on from failure. We all fail in life, we must remember that success is not final, and failure isn’t fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.

When we were in school and failed a class, it was easy to make up for it or study harder for the next one. But in life failure can scar us or even change our perspective on the meaning of life. Life definitely teaches us the failing part of it, and that success can only come after many failures. We learn how to move on from failure and accept it as part of our journey.

How to be patient:

Aristotle said, “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”

While we can’t control time, we can learn that we must be patient enough to wait for what we want. Life doesn’t have a specific timeline set for us, but we can be patient and have faith that the things we want will come when we are ready for them rather than when we want them.

Life is difficult:

Once we truly know that life is difficult and accept it we can expect difficulties. Life gets harder more our responsibilities grow. We have learn how to roll with the punches, to survive and it’s not always smooth sailing.

We scatter our hearts in the wrong places:

We can pick the wrong careers, or the wrong partners who are not always kind to our hearts. We may not understand why we wasted our deepest emotions on something that brought us misery but life tends to let us know the reason eventually.

We have a choice:

Cassandra Clare put it this way, “In the end that was the choice you made, and it doesn’t matter how hard it was to make it. It matters that you did.”

Many things in life are out of our control, but we still have a choice. I had a counselor explain it this way:

There are fundamental approaches to navigating choices in life. The different levels of engagement with any situation, allow for proactive decision making and personal growth

1. Change it

This involves actively modifying the situation to align with your needs.

2. Accept it

Sometimes a situation is beyond your control or it is not worth the effort to change. Acceptance involves acknowledging the reality of the situation without resistance and finding ways to make peace with it.

3. Leave it

If a situation is truly detrimental or unchangeable and you cannot accept it, leaving it may be the best course of action. This means removing yourself from the situation, ending a relationship, or changing your priorities.

By consciously choosing how to respond to a situation, we can respond to any situation, and we can take control of our lives and create a more fulfilling life.

Accept that we all need help sometimes:

This is a hard one for me still today. The way I was raised, taught me, I could only depend on myself. No one would ever have my back. One time a drove to an emergency room hospital 70 miles away, because I thought I could never depend on anyone. When I arrived the doctor told me, I could have easily died on the way. He couldn’t believef I was lying in a hospital bed speaking to him. I should be unconscious. All I could say was that God was watching over me.

No matter how independent we are, we all need some sort of help along the way. We are not immune to disappointment, heartbreak, or danger. Sometimes we don’t have the strength to pick ourselves up. Life teaches us that we can’t make it alone even if we try.

Everything is temporary:

Everything in life is temporary. So if things are good, enjoy it because it won’t last forever. And if everything is going badly, don’t worry, it won’t last forever either.

Pain is temporary, feelings are temporary, even the world is temporary, which is why we have to make the best out of this temporary time and try not to give power to temporary emotions that tend to ruin our lives.

Never get attached to plans:

Woody Allen said once that, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans.”

It’s good to have a blueprint of how we want our lives to look 5 or 10 years down the road, but don’t get too attached to it, because plans change. Life teaches us we need a plan B, C, and D.

We have to face our fears:

Eventually, we all have to face our fears. We may be afraid of our fears, but they are not afraid of us.

Life teaches us that at some point we will come face to face with something that terrifies us. Losing someone we live with, losing a job, and moving away. We can’t escape fear so we have to learn how to face it and walk with it.

We have to love ourselves for who we are:

If we put a small value on ourselves, rest assured that the world will not raise our price.

If we want to make our lives a little easier we have to love ourselves for who we are. Not in a narcissistic way, but in a compassionate way. We have to learn to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and failures. We have to believe in ourselves and walk away from people who don’t value us.

Learning life lessons involves understanding personal growth, resilience, and the value of experience. The more you make conscious choices that align with your values the more you can create a life you desire.