When I realized I needed to start living differently and make some deferent changes to my life. I knew I had to become comfortable in my own skin.
Everyone is born with flaws no-one is perfect. We need to accept ourselves and what we are born with, whether it be your background, your skin, your nose, your hair, your freckles or anything else. You have to accept yourself for who you are and love yourself.
This was extremely difficult for me because of the emotional neglect in my background as a child. When you are constantly told you will never amount to anything or your stupid it takes a toll on you, it took years to get to this point. But, I would look at myself in the mirror everyday (no matter how stupid I felt) and tell myself I loved me, I am a kind person, I would amount to something.
Not being comfortable with yourself is the number one happiness killer. Because if your not comfortable in your own skin. It becomes the biggest concern on top of your mind everyday. It kills your self-esteem, your self-confidence and the happiness that comes deep from within.
If you find it hard because other people discriminate or make judgements about you, distance yourself from people who are shallow and narrow-minded. You are better than that. Prove it to them and yourself that you are capable and talented in so many other ways. Surround yourself with people who value the same things you do, and leave the bad people attitudes behind.
See the positive in every situation. Yes you will always run into unfortunate situations in life that are out of your control. You can choose to feel sad, annoyed, angry, or stressed about the situation or turn it around and focus on the positive. You can choose to be stuck in a bad situation or let go, move on and start again.
Stay motivated. If you can simply live life and appreciate what you have and acknowledge everyone is different and stop comparing yourself to others you will experience joy and happiness in your life. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side but their story is different than yours, you don’t know the whole story. This will be a battle won for you.
Appreciate what you have and never compare yourself to others, wishing your was like theirs, you face was like theirs, your body was like theirs. Will cause you to burn with jealousy and it will set you back on what you’re trying to accomplish. You will never truly be happy if you keep looking outside and wishing you had what you don’t.
Learn from failure or bad experience and never repeat the same mistake twice. It’s like going around a mountain 100 times and get back where to started, if you make the same mistakes over and over you will end up with the same results. Every setback and bad situation in life teaches you something. Growth doesn’t happen in comfort. Take it S an opportunity to train your mind to be stronger, more resilient, and more equipped to be able to deal with things life throws at you.
Let go of you need to control. Control makes to feel secure. But at the same time, with control you also lose freedom. It’s. Confusing, when you try to control your life, situations, and sometimes others, you do so because you want to feel more secure.
However, when you feel more secure because you take control of it, it lose control of yourself and very likely of those who you try to control. This is because you become dependent on the feeling of having control. And it can drive you crazy because things don’t always go as planned. Trying to control things will only drive other people away which will make you panic even more when that happens, but it also hinders you from achieving happiness from within.
Drop the resentment within. Most of the time you hold on to anger because you believe it would make the person you’re mad at upset and realize that they have done something wrong. But the fact is that you are actually hanging your self up on something that’s burning you within. When you’re mad at someone, the pain you are suffering is actually hurting you not them. When you hate someone, the fire is within your own mind and not bothering them one bit.
No matter what someone does to you- hurt you, look down on you, underestimate you, backstab you, abuse you, cheat on you, when you hold on to hatred, you hold on to hurt. Only when you learn to let go, you let your soul free from the pain. No matter what caused them to do certain things to you, the best thing you can do is to let go.
It will be hard to let go, you can start with meditation. Even meditating is hard because you need to control yourself not to think about anything while meditating. Begin by picturing a beautiful place you have been or want to go. I picture a field of yellow and grass and a olive tree way off in the distance and me sitting under that tree just resting in the warm sun with a cool breeze blowing. The key is to think about nothing not having a care in the world. Being able to control your thoughts and focus, and keep one’s mind at peace strengthens the minds muscles- this is the secret power of meditation.
The fire in only within you. The person you hate doesn’t feel hatred. Let it go, let it go.
Living in the moment. I believe that one of the reasons little kids and happy couples on dates are happy is because they live in the moment. They focus on what’s happening in front of them and pay attention to the person they are with. When you live in the moment and do your best, you just feel happy. Why wouldn’t you? You don’t worry about the the future, neither do you feel sad about the past. Don’t worry about tomorrow, tomorrow can worry about itself.
Taking every waking hour as it comes and do what you are supposed to do and complete what you’re supposed to complete. Just live in the moment and do your best.
Avoid over analyzing. This is what a lot of us do- over analyzing things from relationships to career and finances. Over analyzing is dwelling on or about something, thinking about it over and over, trying to dig deeper and deeper, because somehow you believe it could end up giving you a way out. When in doubt, over analyzing somehow gives us comfort. Most of the time we never actually get an answer but a set of worries.
In order to avoid over analyzing, we need to be more outspoken with people whom we have doubts about, take things as they come, and listen carefully to your intuition (gut).
Stop worrying about the future. Many of us worry about or future, our career, our health, and about the people we love. We worry because we are scared. However, worrying doesn’t change anything. If your worried about your health when you’re get older, then you should start eating healthy and exercise regularly. If you’re worried about finances, then you should start saving for a rainy day. If you’re worried about your kids, then encourage them to take actions to help ease your worries.
Remember that worrying about your love ones doesn’t actually make them better. It only affects your health and your blood pressure. Your love one will to take action themselves. All you can do is to encourage them and help them move towards the right direction for them.
Drop your ego and be true- we have our egos as our security guard that protects our self-esteem from being attacked. However, sometimes we become a victim to our own ego. This is when the ego takes control and we become too arrogant and act above ourselves. We distort the reality about us. We live an illusion. Sometimes we do so because it makes us feel good about ourselves.
Whatever it may be, letting go of your ego become your front shield actually hurts you more on the inside because you can’t be your true self. You just live with lies. In the end, you just can’t take anymore because you are just faking it. Over and over, you will become tired of it and feel like no one really understands you. This is when you realize that you will never be truly happy unless you stay true to yourself and others.
Have a open mind. Having a narrow mind can hurt you more than you think because naturally we as humans don’t like being disapproved of. We don’t like feeling like we’re wring because it makes us feel rejected and unaccepted.
So if you don’t have a open mind which means you stand firmly on your beliefs and ideas and oppose other who thinks otherwise, you will feel extremely agitated and uncomfortable when people with different beliefs are presented in front of you. If there is belief you are going to stand be ready to stand alone. When I make a Stand alone I go by an old instruction manual that has been around for 2000 years. Some don’t believe it or care about it and that’s their right. It’s the Holy Bible if it’s in there it’s true.I cannot be swayed to open my mind. This book has never steered me wrong.
On The other hand, if you don’t have a open mind, be open to hearing about the different beliefs. In fact, you should embrace the differences, and want to understand it better, and become adaptable and flexible in what they have to say. You wouldn’t have a fight with yourself in accepting others. You should feel at ease with their differences. You can accept someone for their beliefs and feel positive in not seeing things their way. Just because you have different beliefs doesn’t mean you can’t respect them for it.