Feelings of Emptiness
Emptiness feels different for different people. For some, it’s an empty feeling in your belly, chest or throat the comes and goes. For other’s it’s numbness. Mine was a empty feeling in my belly that, no matter what couldn’t be filled.
Fear of being dependent
It’s one thing to be an independent kind of person. But feeling deeply uncomfortable about depending on anyone is another thing altogether. If you find yourself taking great care to not need help, support or care from others, you may have this fear.
Unrealistic self- appraisal
Do you find it hard to know what you are capable of? I still feel today that I have no affect on people around me. No matter what I say or do it doesn’t affect them, I have to be really careful what I say around people because sometimes I say something that affects them and don’t even realize I’m doing it. Because I feel and think differently than most people. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What do you like? Struggling to answer these questions is a sign that you don’t know yourself as well as you should.
No compassion for yourself, plenty for others.
Are you harder on yourself than you would ever be on a friend? Do others talk to you about their problems, but it’s hard for you so share yours.
Guilt, shame, self-directed anger, and blame.
Guilt, shame, anger, and blame; The Fabulous Four, all directed at yourself. Some people have a tendency to go straight to guilt and same whenever a negative event happens in their lives. (This was a tough one for me because once I was told I was worthless so many times it kinda became a natural habit for me after 19 years it got stuck in my head.)
Do you ever feel ashamed of things that most people would never be ashamed of. Like having needs, making mistakes, or having feelings.
Feeling fatally flawed.
This is that deep sense I talked about above. You know that something is wrong in your life but you can’t pinpoint what it is. “It’s me,” you say to yourself, and you feel like it’s true. I’m not likable, I’m different that other people. Something is different. I have found that I am different than other people, I have people say to me all the time “I think you deeply.” I am kind to everyone because I know what it’s like to be hurt, and no-one should ever have to feel that way.
Difficulty feeling, identifying, managing and/ or expressing emotions.
Do you get tongue-tied, undervalue or under-respond to their child’s emotions inadvertently convey a powerful, subliminal message to the child: “Your feelings don’t matter.
To cope as a child, you naturally push your emotions down, to keep them from becoming a problem in your childhood home.
Then as a adult, you are living without access to your emotions: your emotions, which should be directing, guiding, informing, connecting, and enriching your emotions, which should be telling you who matters to you and what matters of you, and why.
Once you understand the reason for your forever flaw and how it came about, you can heal from your Childhood Emotional Neglect by attacking it. You can establish a new pipeline to your emotions. You can learn the skills to use.
You we be finally accept that your feelings are real and they do matter. You matter too.