Have you ever caught yourself thinking “I Don’t Care Anymore? I am done, I’m tired to trying, I am physically and emotionally exhausted.
You just don’t know where or what to do anymore. That’s when things begin to change. Your life is completely “off balance” you may be stressed, overwhelmed, or even burned out. When these words I don’t care shows up in your thoughts or speech it can mean exasperation. Listening to yourself to know what’s behind it can help you get clearer, and get more choice and control over feeling better.
About 15 years ago. I totally hit rock bottom, I was tired of caring when no one else acted like they did. I was done, I stopped caring and stopped caring for everyone around me. I was like that for awhile. I was tired of everyone expecting I was going to be there, cook, do laundry, clean, shop. So I stopped.
There is a lot of information that comes from the statement I don’t care and then the actions that follow it.
I slept when I wanted to sleep, I ate when I felt like it, I came and went without telling anyone. I began to notice my own body and my own feelings and that they could give me more.
Our sensations and emotions are there to give us more information about what’s going on and about what we want and need. I began to take steps to find more balance, control and happiness. When we listen to ourselves in attentive or skillful ways things change.
I took me not thinking or caring about anyone around me to realize I did care. I began doing things the way I needed to do for me.
I slowly began changing things. At first I was not sure how the future was going to be. So I began doing something’s my Daddy always told me to do. I figured he was a wise strong man, maybe I should do it his way.
I began Praying at first I didn’t no who too. I was angry at God. For letting my life go the way it did. Why did he make my mother, my mother. He could have introduced my father to someone different. Why was I even born if He knew I was going to end up like this. What was the point. Yes, all these crazy things were going through my head.
I found that when I Prayed I felt better after. I was calmer, could think more clearly, things weren’t a “jumbled up mess” like usual.
My children were teenagers and my husband had moved into the basement for peace and quiet from the kids and I’m sure I wasn’t a ball of joy to be around. So I was basically alone.
I began getting my head on straight again. My Father was Catholic so I started going to Mass even though I knew nothing about religion. But, it kept me balanced.
A long the way I knew I needed to talk about my experiences with my mother that I had been hiding inside me so very long. It was literally eating me up inside.
I began talking about things, and 15 years later I was on my way to really healing from the devastation in my life. It took God, doctors, nurses, and some really special people that were around me to heal.
The sooner you make up your mind, or your mind makes you realize that’s it’s out of control. Work like hell to get yourself back on the right path moving forward.
I know if my Father and Father God wouldn’t have been in my life. I wouldn’t be here today. They saved my life. As well as many others.
Today, I can function healed, whole and happy for feeling like “I don’t care” anymore at that time during my life. Everything has been restored to me. Now I’m on a journey to help others so, they won’t have to live the horrible life I had to live in my past.
People ask me if I would go back and change anything. While there are a few things, I would. I am blessed to have lived and learned from my past. I have more empathy and compassion than most people ever do. And I have helped many people, who have gone through some really bad times. If I had ever helped one person it is worth in to liv the life I had endure.