For the majority of us. Patience doesn’t come easily. And when it does come, it’s often fleeting. Th of the time, we rush, we interrupt, we get exasperated when people cut ahead of us in line, we charge things not rather than paying cash later, we curse drivers who impede our progress in the fast lane.
From decisions made in haste to words spoken without reflection, impatience causes a vast amount of pain, waste, and damage.
Fortunately, even if we aren’t born with a great deal of patience, it’s a virtue that even the most agitated among us can develop.
The keys to finding more patience in the marketplace or stuck in traffic- lies in finding new ways of perceiving your predicament.
Start Seeing Differently
Most impatience begins as a reversal feeling of discomfort, your face gets hot, or your stomach feels weird. Then negative thoughts begin rolling in like storm clouds- frustrating thoughts about how something or somebody should be moving faster or doing something differently.
It’s these thoughts that cause problems. Our conscious mind is searching for an object to blame for out initial discomfort, but this only makes things worse, because it’s like pouring kerosene on a fire to put it out.
What works better is to reframe irritating. Circumstances. Find creative ways to see and relate things other then getting mad.
Bypass blame: rather the faulting anyone in particular for the fact that you have to wait or adjust your plans, try entertaining the notion that they delay just is, who knows, it may even turn out to be to your advantage; if not for the wait, perhaps you might have encountered a bigger problem- or accident instead.
Be thankful for small blessings: if you’re stuck in a traffic jam, and you have a cell phone that allows you to call to explain. Your delay to whoever is waiting for you, that’s a blessing. And once you make that call you’re free to embrace more blessings, like the opportunity to listen to some great music while actively strengthening your patience muscles. See if you can sit in traffic without wishing I’ll upon a single driver, even if several of them manage to get their cars into the moving lane before you do. Try radiating goodwill instead.
Write your own history: keeping mind that you are always suffering your own experience. Eventually, the irritating circumstances you are dealing with will be one, and you’ll be left with the choices you made. Do you want to look back on losing your cool or do want to look back on having made an honorable, embarrassment free escape from a bad situation? The choice is yours.
Whenever you feel the burn of impatience, just keep your eyes on the prize of your own equanimity.
Expand your Empathy
Learn to see the complexity of a situation. This means understanding that human beings have complicated lives in a complex universe, all the variables of which can possibly know or appreciate at the moment. Just remembering this fact may allow up to amplify our sense of empathy with others, and soften a little.
Pull Tolerance From Positivity
It’s easier to have patience when we’re awash in good feelings. When we’re newly in love it seems nothing can disturb our sense of well being. When your in a positive way, we seem to take in all in stride.
When we are generally happy, our ability to comfortably tolerate annoyances skyrockets. We can use that dynamic to our advantage.
This doesn’t involve gritting our teeth and bearing reality. On the contrary, it involves actively noticing and cultivating positive feelings. Pay attention to pleasant, everyday sensations and experiences like the pleasure of eating when your hungry, putting on warm socks when your feet are cold, or seeing a beautiful bank of clouds in the so. This is called ”cheerfulness practice, ” and it can do a lot to lengthen our proverbial fuse.
There will always be things that push us to impatience. But practicing with little annoyances shows us we can build a greater capacity for humor and perspective overall. So when the truly big challenges come along, there’s grace. Waiting for you.
I have a difficult time during Christmas. I absolutely dislike shopping at Christmas. The mass of people come out and waiting is difficult. My Pastor gave me some advice and it helped me tremendously, He said:” look how long God waited for you if he waited years for you surely you can wait for others for a few minutes.” Great advice.