Words matter. Out tongue has the power to build or to destroy. One of our strongest assets Is the ability to communicate through many means but particularly through speaking. The words we chose, the tone and infliction can fill a person’s soul for flight or bore holes in their heart. We’ve all done it. We’ve all had it done to us. How do we think before we speak?
Words Kill, Words Give Life, they’re either poison or fruit you choose.Unknown
When you enter a room do you bring energy or suck it dry? Watch people. Listen to their tone when they address each other. Pay attention to the words they use. Then turn that observation on yourself. How do you measure your words? Do you inspire others or make them flinch? Watch their reactions.
Listen More Than Talk
Some people process aloud, so don’t offer solutions too quickly. Let them walk through their feeling and emotions so they can untangle their thoughts. Listen with an open mind. Focus on what the other person is saying and hold your opinions. Once you have the entire story, only them can you offer to help. Sometimes they have to work it out themselves.
Don’t Be To Quick To Judge
Every individual has a story, take time to find out what it is. Try to see past the mask, the guarding and limited information. Try not to come up with advice or a solution.
The best advice I’ve ever had was from my father: If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.
Choose Your Words Carefully
Eliminate from your vocabulary all the words that draw negative energy into your life and others. Replace these life-draining words with positive energy raising conversations. Capture negative self-talk, change the way you talk to your self. Use positive affirmations or quotes anything to stop the degrading internal and external conversations
When my son decided he was going to marry a girl I didn’t really like I was shocked. She had a tendency to be negative and rude to people, she thought because her family came from a higher income bracket she was better than anyone. She was sometimes abusive to others. Not even a year after they have married the marriage was having issues. She didn’t want him seeing his family because we were in a lower income bracket. I was devastated and so was he. I mistakenly start taking bad about her and actually praying the God would in their marriage.. Yson had to leave the country for his job and she left him so she could get a job in a different state. They were on rocky terms in the marriage. I was praying every day that there would be trouble and the marriage wouldn’t last. Until I realized that my son really did love her and went into a depression every time they would talk about separating. I stopped talking negatively about her and started Praying God would make them happier and stay together. Their marriage started to get better they were happier. They are married for 6 years now. While she still has issues about us, they will come to visit, but while he spends time with us. She stays away. While this isn’t the best daughter-in-law relationship I wanted. At least my son is happy. I was speaking poison into their marriage instead of happiness making the marriage unhappy and my son unhappy. Instead of life.
Understand Your Next Words
Listen attentively. Remember what a person says. Don’t interrupt, Don’t pretend the problem Isn’t a problem. Stay away from phrases like it’ll be okay, ( it might not be) or Get over it (it’s dismissive). It’s not the end of the world. Don’t discuss your problems as if they’re similar to theirs. Avoid minimizing their situation. Don’t change the subject, let them talk. Then measure your next words as carefully. Try to decern how your words will be heard or felt if you were them. Remember that not everyone responds the same way you do. I personally like it when people are honest and direct don’t sugarcoat anything. But, not all people are comfortable with hearing the truth all at once from the same place. They need it sugar-coated to deal with it.
Give Good Feedback
When someone has shared something difficult with you, be sure to summarize it before you jump right in with advice. Try saying correct me if I’m wrong I hear you saying- then summarize what they told you. Say it back to them nicely. Remember is they’re sharing something stupid they did or admitting they were wrong, you don’t need to remind them, they already know. Words like I told you so or what we’re you thinking does nothing to move the conversation forward.
After a person has barred their soul to you and you have successfully held your tongue. Ask for permission to give them advice by saying I have some ideas, do you want to know what I think? If they say no leave it at that until another day, but if they say yes stay on your single-focused takeaway point. It will be tempting to give them all your thoughts but that can be like giving a drink of water out of a fire hose for the receiver. Give them one idea and then leave it alone. Be able to set boundaries with them. Be a loyal friend. Give positive statements that keep your listener attentive. Then finish your conversation with you know they are wise and what are you going to do? Respect them enough not to solve their problem, but rather encourage them to think through a plan and execute it.
always be aware of your body language and what it’s broadcasting. Turn to the speaker, make eye contact and don’t be doing something else while they’re talking. Listen and occasionally respond with a supporting word or two.
Remember, it’s better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. And you catch more bees with honey than you do vinegar. Let your last words that we’re spoken be inspiring.
Ask For Permission