When something doesn’t meet our expectations, many of us operate with the assumption. When in doubt, it must be someone else’s fault. You can see this assumption in action almost everywhere you look-something is missing, so someone else must have moved it; the car isn’t working right, so the mechanic must have repaired it incorrectly; your expenses indeed your income, so your spouse must be spending to much money; the house is a mess so you must be the only one doing your part; a project is late, so your colleagues at work must have not done their share-and on and on it goes.
This type of blaming thinking has become extremely common with our culture. On a personal level, it has led to believe that we are never completely responsible for our own actions, problems, or happiness. When we are in the habit of blaming others, we will blame others for our anger, frustration, depression, stress, and unhappiness. Circumstances don’t make a person, they reveal him or her.
As an experiment, notice what happens when you stop blaming others for anything and everything in your life. This doesn’t mean you don’t hold people accountable for your own happiness and for your reactions to other people and the circumstances around you. When the house is a mess, rather than assuming you’re the only person doing you’re part, clean it up! When your over budget, figure out where you can spend less money. Most important, when your unhappy, remind yourself that only you can make yourself happy.
Blaming others take an enormous amount of mental energy. It’s a drag me down mind -set that creates stress and disease. Blaming makes you feel powerless over your own life because your happiness is contingent on the actions and behavior of others, which you can not control. When you stop blaming others, you will regain your sense of personal power. You will set yourself as a choice maker. You will know that when you are upset, you are playing a key role in the creation of your own feelings. This means that you can play a key role in creating new, more positive feelings. Life is a great deal more fun and easier to manage when you stop blaming others.