To let yourself go doesn’t mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.
Holding onto pain doesn’t fix anything. Replaying the past over and over again doesn’t change it, and wishing things were different doesn’t make it so. All you can do in some cases is except whatever it is you’re holding on to and let it go. That’s how everything changes. You have go to let go of what is hurting you, even if it feels impossible. Deciding to hold on to the past will hold you back from creating a strong sense of self- a self that that isn’t defined by your past, but rather by who you want to become. Our body’s painful feelings can feel comfortable, especially if they’re all you know. Some people have trouble letting go of they’re pain or other unpleasant emotions about they’re past because they think those feelings are part of they’re identity. In some ways, they may not know who they are without their pain. This can make it impossible for them to let go.
If you find it too hard to let go of the past, here are some ideas that might help.
Understand that the relationships you thought you’d have are going to be different than the ones you actually have.
We must accept the person we are in this moment and the way other people are. As time goes on, we continue to learn that things don’t always go as planned- actually they pretty much never do. And that’s okay: if you become aware of yourself and your part of relationships, they will improve, however, you may also have to accept facts about certain people in your life. Practice gratitude, appreciation, and trust in the process.
Don’t be invested in the outcome when it comes to dealing with people, because it often leads to disappointment.
Have you ever heard the quote ”Do everything with a good heart and expect nothing in return.
Expectations have a way of keeping us stuck because they lead us to fear certain outcomes. There are no guarantees in life, and there’s nothing we can really do to get the outcomes we desire when dealing with others. When our expectations or needs aren’t met, we need to respond rationally and appropriately. Sometimes this means setting respectful boundaries, and other times it means letting go.
Don’t live in chains when you have the key. We live with self-limiting beliefs that we let define who we are.
At Church yesterday morning. The Pastor taught on being the leader of your own life.
We think ”I could never do that! or ” I could never make that happen! If you truly believe that, you will never accomplish your goals. There will be many people who tell you that you can’t do it, you’ll never accomplish your goals. Open up your mind, and believe in yourself you can don’t. It’s up to you to prove them wrong.
Let go of the idea that you can control other’s actions. We really only have control over ourselves a d how we act.
You can’t change another person, So don’t waste your time and energy trying.
I tried to change my husband’s behavior for years, so he would live me the way I thought he should. When I let this action go, and stopped trying to control his actions. Things began to get better. No, things are not perfect but, I learned to be happy with his good qualities and let the others go.
I think this is the biggest part that pushes people to hold onto unhelpful behaviors, like the need to please. We think if I do everything for everyone, they’ll never be mad at me, or they won’t treat me like that anymore. Wrong!
Only Worry about what you think of yourself.
Free yourself from being controlled by what other people thing Start a list and prioritize how you feel about yourself.
Happiness is when you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.Mahatma Gandhi
You can’t live by your values if your living for the approval of others
Leave room for mistakes.
Have you ever made a mistake or say something stupid? It’s okay. Use the experience to learn. It doesn’t make you stupid to say something wrong or silly, it makes you human, and sometimes even funny.
Accept the things you can not change
Stop wishing things could be the way they once were. Bring yourself into the present moment. This is where life happens. You can not change the past, you can only make decisions today to help how your future turns out.
Don’t take life too seriously
This will allow you to relax and enjoy life’s journey. Laugh with a day myself all the time.
Do what scares you.
Fear holds us back from doing a lot of things because it closes our minds to possibilities for our future end locks us into our comfort zone. Most fears fill us with doubts and what-ifs that imprison us. The more you get out of your comfort zone, the more fear will subside. In life do what scares you, and you’ll grow and succeed.
I often think of this scripture 2 Timothy 1:7: for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and sound mind. When I fear something in my life. But, the Bible also says in Mathew 4:7, you must not test the Lord. Meaning that if you act foolish, like overuse drugs or drive irrationally. There are consequences for your actions. Use wisdom in your life. You are the leader of your life.