One of the most freeing things I learned in life is that I don’t have to be like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like me, and it’s perfectly okay.
I live for years trying to be that someone that everyone liked, I grew up a people pleaser. It was drilled into me as a child. I felt I could be perfect by doing things for everyone, always waiting to hear if my parents needed something. I thought that was how I could get attention from them. It just carried over to the next 45 years.
I was taught to be polite and to put others before myself. Before I made a decision, I carefully weighed how it would affect others and their thoughts of me. Then I learned to followed the crowd I was more likely to get thing I wanted and I thought I was happier. Before but I wasn’t some people didn’t have my value system and that upset me.
The constant need to have everyone like me came back to kick me in the butt, again and again. Before to along I had made a habit on only thinking about their actions an thoughts.
I built myself completely around others’ expectations from the way I looked to my friends, my relationships, passions personality, and more. The problem was I wasn’t being who I really was. I had no true self, but instead many different versions of myself made to please everyone and anyone.
I never revealed my true self to anyone because I didn’t want to drive away anyone. I ended up feeling like a shell of a person. I did not have an identity. I felt like I was living for them not for me.
The journey to my own self-discovery and wanting to please me most of all came in something unexpected in the last few years I have had some people who I thought we’re friends but pulled away from me after I had unset them.
In the past, I had pulled away from everyone that I had an argument with or upset them never the other way around.
It hit me in healing time that I was not upset because of how close we had become or because I valued them deeply as a person.
It turned out, what upset me the most was knowing that there was someone who didn’t like me and was harboring bad feelings toward me. The thought tore me apart.
It wasn’t until I was talking to another friend and she pointed out that there were almost likely a great deal of people who didn’t like me, I had a revelation.
There are always going to be people who don’t like me. By trying to cater my and decisions to everyone else besides the only person whose feelings mattered (me), I drove myself into an unhappy place in an impossible attempt to make everyone happy. I’d never be able to make everyone happy, and it turned out that’s fine.
I spend a lot of my life trying to get everyone to like me that I never figured out that’s not what best for me.
You are not for everyone and that’s okay. The world is full of who, no matter what you do, will point blank not like you. But it is filled with people who will love you strongly. You are not for everyone and that’s okay.Rebecca Campbell
Talk to the people who can hear you. Don’t waste your precious time and gifts trying to convince them of your value, they won’t ever what your selling. Don’t convince them to walk beside you. You’ll be wasting both your time and theirs and will inflict unnecessary wounds, which take precious time to heal.
As you drive people away, you only get closer to your ideal people. Those who love you, who want to be close to you, who truly value you, are one step closer.
Each person who criticizes your ideas and passions draw you closer to your ideal friends, partner. Each person that walks away draws closer to the people who share your beliefs and passions.
Being disliked by some is simply a byproduct of being authentic who you truly are.
You will be too much from some people. These aren’t your people,Unknown