We all experience points in our life where we face trials, difficulties, and issues. Often we are good by friends, Be strong, you’ll get through this, you need become more resilient, but what does this mean, and how can we achieve it in a practical sense?
In essence, being resilient means being able to adapt and bounce back when something difficult happens in our lives. It is the ability to once again pick ourselves up after a trauma or painful experience.
The one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell.Roy T. Bennett
I found this to be to be true in my life. I am a firm believer of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I feel I have had hard times in my life but I decided to not let satan win. I chose to make to let my trials make me into a hurt, sad, adult. But let it make me stronger.
Our levels of resiliency will change and develop throughout our lives, and at times, we may find out we will not cope like anyone else, as well as surprising ourselves when we manage a difficult situation. Resilience is a psychological tool we implement to get back to feeling normal again.
As we all know, when we are in a weakened position where we feel things are going from bad to worse, it can be very difficult to do d balance, or go against the tide, or recover and regain a stable place.
Resilience is important for several reasons; it enables us to develop mechanisms for protection against experiences that can be overwhelming. It helps us maintain balance in our lives during tough times or stressful situations and it also helps protect us from some mental disabilities.
There are some benefits I’m listing:
Improved learning and academic achievement.
Lower absences from work and the things we enjoy due to sickness.
Reduced use of risk-taking behaviors such as excessive drinking, smoking, and use of drugs.
Increased involvement in your community and family activities.
A lower rate of mortality and increased physical health.
There are different types of resilience.
Emotional resilience may be one you have heard before. It is a simple term which refers to how able we are to manage the emotional impact of stresses, difficulties and trauma in our lives. From experience, I can tell you don’t try building a wall up to every situation that happens to you. It will take the joy out of your life.
There are types of resilience which we develop and need throughout times of our lives.
Inherent resilience, this is natural resilience that we are born with. This resilience protects us and informs how we discover and explore the world; learn to play, learn and to take risks. This form of resilience happens a great deal with children under the age about seven. This happens provided their development is not disrupted and they experience any sort of trauma. Like me I had a deep fryer full of oil spilled on me a d burned 45% of my body, luckily I have few scars. I was also put in the hospital for malnutrition at the age of seven for three months this I interrupted my inherent resilience.
Adapted resilience, this type of resilience happens at different times in our lives and is usually brought about through difficult or challenging experiences. We need to find strength in these times and rebuild our sense of confidence to once again to do new things. Adaptive resilience needs to be learned on the stop and can give us the ability to manage stresses and pain.
Learned resilience, this is built over time, we need to activate it through difficult experiences from our past. We learn to know when to draw on it, and use it during difficult trials, and stressful times. It is through this resilience, which we learn and grow and develop mechanisms for managing, and finding ways to draw strength we did not know we had in times when we need it most.
There are several ways that we can develop more resilience in difficult and stressful events in our lives.
Below are some examples:
Making lifestyle changes, practice being more straightforward and assertive with others. Tell them how you feel remember they don’t know if don’t to say anything. If you feel people are making unreasonable demands on you, and trying to get you to do things against your values be prepared to tell them how you feel and say no. Use relaxation tips, and take time to do the things that calm you down, whether it is taking a bath, going for a walk or listening to music. The most calming thing I do is going for a drive with my favorite music playing. Sometimes I feel more at peace in my car than anywhere else.
Develop interests and hobbies, and make time for them. I used to volunteer at an artists studio and she let me use her pottery burner to make some casts I got to keep. I’ve donated my time I go into nursing homes in the area and talk, or pray to the clients there it was a rewarding experience. Do be afraid to try new things.
Make time to spend with your family and friends. The best gift you can give someone is your time. Make sure you use a support network around you. Friends or family members that are willing to listen and won’t judge you. Access the sense of balance in your life, if one area is taking up all your time, then make some space for other things.
I can not stress this enough take care of your physical health. Get a good night’s sleep, develop sleeping patterns. I admit I struggle with this one. I sometimes can go on three or four hours of sleep, but after about three days, I crash and sleep for two days. This is not healthy physically or mentally. I’m working on this to regulate my sleep patterns.
Try to be more physically active and exercise regularly. I know this is difficult because all the gyms are shut down. Try a workout on u-tube, go hiking if you can. The more we are physically active and eat balanced meals the more you will be able to deal with stressful situations.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, find time to praise for your achievements a d reward yourself for what you have done. Most of all forgive yourself if you do not achieve what you wanted or you feel you have made a mistake, ease up on punishing yourself and try to remember that no one is perfect.
Going forward, there will be times in our lives when pressures mount or we experience pain and trauma during these times we will struggle to cope. However, through learning about ourselves a d realizing what we can and cannot manage, we will be able to develop strategies which allow us to become resilient, to these difficulties in our walk, and to feel confident in our abilities to manage. This is a process and does not just happen. But in each of us there is strength and courage we did not know we had.