Some people have to dig at others every time they can.
They belittle others, make fun of them, and put them down.
If you are on the receiving end of this behavior. It can hurt.
So why do they do it? What makes people put others down?
When this happens, what is the best way to respond to it?
There are reasons people put other’s down.
It makes them feel better. As backwards as this may sound. It makes people feel better by putting people down. It’s adult bullying.
They will typically have low-esteem, and their misguided way of boosting it is to take aim at other person.
They are insecure and a common technique they use is to put others down to make you feel lower than them.
Their ego gets a temporary lift from its own pain by inflicting hurt on someone else.
Of course their relief doesn’t last long and so they are always looking for ways to put people down.
They are jealous.
Giver their low self-esteem, they will be resentful to see someone else doing well in any sense.
Their jealousy causes them the lash out. Their aim is to bring the other person down to their level by belittling their success or happiness. It is spiteful but they think “If I can feel good about myself then neither can you.”
To make them feel important
Nobody likes to feel small or insignificant. But some people use put downs to give themselves importance.
This is often as part of a group where they believe that attacking someone else gives their own a standing boost.
But these people don’t realize is that while this approach might work to a small extent in some cut-throat areas. It actually has the opposite effect in general life.
To make other people like them
Making others the butt of a considered joke among the group of friends can make everyone laugh.
However, some people take this approach in other situations, thinking that it will help others feel more positively towards them, It won’t.
These kind of people really care what others think about them. But when they put themselves in awkward moments they can look like a fool.
For some people they don’t care if it’s negative attention or positive attention as long as it’s attention toward them. Any attention makes them feel noticed.
To feel in control
Putting someone else down provided a level of control over their lives, which is often due to childhood difficulties or trauma.
These bullies, have for example have been bullied themselves so it’s a sense to gain back control back.
When I was bullied in school I had some pretty rotten things, like fat, ugly, stupid. The issue was that’s what I was told at home. So it was just normal to me. I just ignored them and went on with my day. One day long ago, I was looking for pictures and came across a photo for my graduation, I weighed about 80-pounds I not bad looking either. I got to thinking why to bullies bully you with lies. The answer is written above.
Later in life talking to people who were bullies in school, had tough a childhood also. Some kind of trauma, and had to deal with someone form of death, or divorce of their parents.
Some have asked me why did you not bully anyone. I told them I knew how that made me feel, and I didn’t want anyone else to feel the same way. Plus I feared my mother would beat me with in a inch of my life.
So, when you are being bullied or you are the bully, think about what kind of life they
If you can turn this situation on them, so say things bad, but good. Make them feel better. Or if you feel you cannot do that smile and walk away. Give their words no power. We need to learn how to react, not let our emotions control us.