When it comes to disappointment, the way we choose to handle it can determine how our life will turn out. When you feel disappointed, all the means is that something or someone failed to meet our expectations. For most people, this occurs when they try to reach a goal and come up short. Everyone will have to deal with this. It is a part of normal life.
The way we choose to handle this situation will determine our success or failure in life. Let’s look at why we feel disappointment and somethings we can do to overcome this feeling.
Expectations are nothing but rules. These rules will dictate, at least in our mind, what has to happen before a satisfactory result is achieved. Let’s say you wanted to lose 15 pounds in 30 days. You start out by working out and eating right. You do everything the experts tell you to, and when 30 days are up, you step on the scale and find out you’ve only lost 10 pounds. Chances are you will feel disappointed.
The reason is because you set a rule on what has to happen before you feel satisfied. So what do you in this situation or any other situation where you fail to achieve what you set out to achieve? If you do what most people do and give up or complain about how you never get what you want, then you are going to continue to feel miserable.
But, if you decide that you are going to adjust and do better next time, you will be able to adjust and do better next time, you will be able to succeed at handling disappointment in a productive way.
Remember that disgusting is just a feeling that is caused by the rules you set up. This works extremely well.
Let’s say you expected your child to get all A’s but they end up with mostly B’s. The only reason you will feel disappointment is because you created the rule that unless your child ends up with all A’s, you will not be satisfied.
How can we use this fact to helps us deal with disappointments? There are two things that we can do. The first is to realize that when we’re feeling disappointed, it’s because certain rules that you created weren’t met. Whether this rule was placed on you or someone else it doesn’t matter. In order to deal with this feeling, one thing we can do is to change the rules.
Instead of saying “If I don’t lose 15 pounds in 30 days, I’m going to be disappointed,” you can say “ I will do everything I can to reach my goal but if I fall short, I will at least know that I gave it me all.” This is an example, hopefully you get the point. You made the rules that caused yourself to feel disappointed which means you can also change them.
The second thing we can do relates to rules you set on other people. If you want to stop being disappointed all the time when it comes to other people, create rules that make it hard for people to make you feel disappointed. The rules of what has to happen for you to be satisfied weren’t something you were born with. You created them. It’s great to have high expectations for yourself because you have control over your actions but when you place too many rules on other people who you don’t have control over, be prepared to have a lot of disappointments.
Dealing with disappointments just requires you to understand what causes this feeling to come up in the first place. Once you understand it’s a result of you or other people failing to meet your rules of what has to happen for you to feel satisfied. Beginning to change those rules to make it harder for you to feel disappointment.
I have always felt that I have had to try extra hard to do things better than anyone else. I’m sure it’s because of my childhood. Like today at work, the owner was there all day. I felt I had to do more work than what was expected of me. I made own rule, that I could not take a break because it looked like I was being lazy. I rationalized that if he paid me for the whole day. I needed to work the whole day, or I would be disappointed with myself. I created that rule for myself. I can change that rule.