When you have hit rock bottom. Your last solid ground you get before you fall into the darkest of pits.
I’ve heard stories about person hitting rock bottom, I can relate to that story. But few talk about that point in time where they haven’t quite yet dropped to the cliff side and are desperately clinging to the edge.
Rock bottom isn’t a place you accidentally find yourself in. To be honest, I cant really believe that people say that they woke up one day and hated their lives, hated the people they’ve become , and wanted nothing more to throw in the towel and call it quits on everything. We all have clues that something happening, we just ignore them. Hoping they will just go away. I know that’s what I did.
Hitting rock bottom follows a similar pattern every time. It all starts with something awful happening. It may have been we made a mistake or did something stupid. Whatever the reason, something happened that shifted our way of thought into a darker spectrum.
In my case it was my childhood. My mother had broken everything in me. My heart, my spirit, even my chance to care about anyone. When I moved out of my parents house. I was an addict, feeling like no one ever will care what I did. This happened to me and hurt me so intensely.
It changed my perception of the world into a negative light, I grew further away from the person I really was hidden inside.
We find some mean, hateful people in this world a part of me thinks they are dying inside. A part that innocent, pure, happy, and beautiful.
A change begins to happen in us. This changes won’t be visible at first. But eventually, the rot from the inside has to come to the outside. With bad thoughts come bad habits, bad tendencies, bad experiences. We start to make bad decisions.
At first, we tell ourselves “we deserve a bit of fun.” We now begin to believe that making bad decisions, drinking, drugs, being sexually active with strangers is fun. One day you’ll feel completely disgusted with yourself. We will made now have to punish ourselves so, we make more bad decisions.
And the cycle goes on and on. The more we punish ourselves the worse we feel, the negative thoughts and energy we have the more worse things get.
It’s important to remember that during these times, were not constantly feeling horrible. We have moments of happiness. Moment’s of content. Maybe even experiences of success. Which confuses us. When we can’t even celebrate the small successes, our brain don’t know how.
We don’t just don’t wake up and find we have hit rock bottom. But we wake up one day and find ourselves on the edge of the cliff.
We wake up and realize that we’ve been living the wrong life. We’ve made a decision at some point or another that led us down the wrong path. This is our life but it shouldn’t be. This isn’t for us, this isn’t who you are. Where did it all go wrong?
We can sulk, feel bad for ourselves and hate ourselves while we ponder the answer to that question. But the truth is, that isn’t where our focus should be. Our focus needs to be getting ourselves and our lives back on the right track.
There is a decision to be made. Are you giving up on yourself and allowing yourself to continue following down this cursed path? Or are you going to admit that you’ve had enough of the person you’ve become? and decide that you’re not going down the wrong path anymore. You only get one life. Your going to make it better.
It took me seeing rock bottom to decide I needed to change, “I was tired of living the horrible I was living.” I was time to change. It’s was easier taking the path in life you were meant to take when you see that bottom. When you can see how the story could end for you at rock bottom.
It’s made me change because I’ve never been so incredibly scared in my life. Once I closed my eyes and watched my life unfold, watching as I spent the rest of my life sloes dying and realize that’s the one way things can go if I don’t change, I chose to change.
Today I am the person I want to be, and releasing all the garbage from my life I feel 20 years younger. And ready to make a difference in this world.