I was reading a book the other day, and I had one of those “Ah-Ha” moments. I wish I have known this a long time ago.
If you felt neglected growing up. It isn’t uncommon for those feelings to persist, even years later. The effects of feeling neglected as a child can manifest as new habits when you’re an adult.
You may expect low self-esteem, difficulty trusting others or even fear of being neglected again. Although these habits may be difficult to explain, they’re are sign of the powerful, impact feeling neglected can have.
If you experienced neglect growing up, you are still deserving of love, and support. You are worthy of being seen.
Here are some habits that may continue in adulthood from being neglected as a child:
Never Feeling Good Enough. You can Feeling almost disposable. Always having to have a wall up because you know that the people around you are going to leave anyway. The problem I’ve found with putting walls up, is it’s very difficult to tear them down.
Not Trusting People In Fear Of Thinking They Will Just Leave. When you give your everything to everyone in your family. Constantly doing things for them or buying them things because they don’t want them to feel neglected like you did. You want then to feel that someone is there for them always. It’s very easy to exhaust yourself doing this.
Going Our Of You Way To Do Everything For People You Love. They drop everything their doing to help anyone, even if it affects they’re mental or physically.
Having Zero Trust In People. They don’t ask for anything unless it is really necessary. They may feel guilt for letting people care for them. They never want to be a burden. They may have massive abandonment issues.
It’s Hard To Ask For Help. They feel their needs aren’t important enough to bother others with. It’s like it hard-wired in their brains, that their not important.
Believing That Their An Inconvenience To Everyone Around Them. They feel like they bother everyone whenever they need help. They may feel inadequate. They may feel like their not good enough.
They Isolate Themselves. They may feel this way they don’t have to try and impress anyone. It may be the only time they can truly relax.
Complete Fear Of Commitment. They keep pushing people way.
They Lack Self-Confidence. They may always second-guess their actions, ideas, and words.
They Are Overachievers. They always try for perfection in hopes that others finally notice them and their hard work. If their really lucky someone will praise them for it, because they never got it growing up.
They Constantly Need Reassurance. Because they never feel good enough. Reassuring them might make them feel good, because they never had that growing up.
Many Think “Expect the worse, but be prepared for the best.” They are so used to disappointment, they don’t know what to do when things go well.
They automatically expect rejection. They are used to assuming they are unlovable and unwanted.
They’ve developed habits of not talking to much. I was always reprimanded or hit for talking as a child. I tend to be quiet around people. They think I’m super shy. But it reality I was afraid to speak. I tend to write more than I talk.
All of the above habits, I have experienced over my life time.
Don’t judge anyone’s choices if you don’t understand their reasons for acting certain ways.