Today’s Symptoms were yesterday’s coping strategies.
There is a lot of deep and painful shame about what they see as hidden ugliness.
Do you feel there are things you just keep to yourself, things that aren’t for the public eye- things you’re deeply ashamed of? For example, I knew a lady who didn’t trust her husband, she knew she should, but she just couldn’t trust. It was a ugly, shameful part of herself. Or a woman who had such a exaggerated view or her body flaws that she starves herself and feel self-loathing because of it.
We must know it’s profoundly important to realize that everything we do, no matter how dysfunctional it is was meant to be self-persevering at some point on our life.
Sometimes it our past, like me, whether it consciously or unconsciously, we need to find away to feel better, we need to find a coping strategy to help us postpone the emotional or even physical pain.
Here are some strategies that might help us.
#1 we need to recognize the trauma whether it is small or large. We need to become compelled to create a coping strategy.
#2 We need to learn to feel compassion instead of blaming yourself. The person you are now and the person you were then. Only by understanding and forgiving yourself for deploying this coping strategy can you replace shame and self-loathing with empathy and self-acceptance.
The piece of your personality we see as ugly once served us. It’s not easy and it won’t happen overnight, buy by working to forgive yourself, you will be closer to leaving these ugly things behind.