Do you suck the life out of every room you walk into?
Here is a quick quiz. Answer the following questions and be honest.
1. Do you feel that people often don’t (or can’t) understand you or your problems?
2. Do you feel there are many barriers in your life which you have no control over?
3. Do you often ask for help from others and/or feel like few people are willing to help you?
4. Do you feel like you often don’t receive the attention or appreciation that you deserve?
5. Do people often complain that you don’t listen to them, when in fact, you feel like they don’t listen to you?
6. Do you feel like most other people have lives that are much easier than yours?
7. Do you fight with close friends and loved ones often?
8. If so, is it usually their fault?
9. Do people suddenly, drop contact with you with no explanation and refuse to communicate with you again?
10. Do you often feel helpless, like you have little opportunity to improve your life?
If you answered “yes” to more than half of the questions above then please read this post carefully. It could very likely be the first step to turning all the problems listed above around.
If you answered yes to at least half the questions the chances are you are an emotional vampire. Don’t take that the wrong way, it’s not your fault. It just means you’ve been hurt in the past. And as a result, you inadvertently hurt those around you, who in return push you away and hurt you further. It’s a vicious cycle. But you can’t help it, because you know nothing about it.
Over the years I’ve interacted with people who where emotional vampires. And I have been one also. So I’m a pretty good eye at spotting them.
Who Are Emotional Vampires?
Emotional vampires are called emotional vampires because they tend to drain the emotional energy out of everyone they’ve come in contact with. They are exhausting. They need constant attention. They always have some crisis or major life event. They are excellent at eliciting emotional reactions out of others and then feed off those emotions. Whether they are positive or negative.
All emotional vampires suffer from low self-esteem, but not all with low self-esteem are emotional vampires. Low self-esteem comes from several flavors and manifests, itself differently from person to person, and emotional vampires are people with a specific subject of self-esteem issues.
Emotional vampires exhibit 3 specific traits simultaneously; an excessive need for validation/attention from others, the belief that little to nothing that occurs is their fault, and the lack of self-awareness to recognize their self-defeating patterns.
Their are 2 dangerous combination for 2 reasons:
1. These 3 traits reinforce one another and make each other stronger.
2. They can often suck in and hurt good otherwise good people around them.
Don’t be mistaken, emotional vampires are not all losers. They can be the most charming, and successful people you meet. Whether they are men, women, beautiful, ugly, rich or poor. But they always create toxic relationships, both as romantic partners or friends.
They have an excessive need for Validation/attention from others.
They believe that their problems are not their fault.
They lack self-awareness.
Begin paying attention to what you have control over rather than what you don’t have control over.
Practice gratitude and appreciation for what you do have.
Show Appreciation for others.
A loving person lives in a loving world, a hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror. – Ken Keyes, Jr.