Their are people who will feel like they fit anywhere. Sometimes, no matter what we do, choose, or say, or chase, the pieces don’t fit.
You can give all you have to a relationship and watch as it slips away right out of your grasp. You can spend hours upon hours agonizing over a project that doesn’t turn out to be as miraculous as you hoped. You can do everything thing in your power to save, fix, or mend what’s been broken and yet, you can still watch everything crumble before your eyes.
Sometimes, things just don’t make sense, won’t become what you wanted them to be, won’t play out as planned.
You can take a look at yourself first and try to change your role in the mess. You can be inward-focused, working on the parts of you that may have caused bits and pieces to fall through. You can look to change, look to improve, look to yourself to shoulder some of the responsibility.
But you have to understand that sometimes you can do everything in your power I make something happen, and it’s just not meant to be. You can give yourself to a person, to a circumstance, to a situation, and end up empty, simply because it wasn’t meant for you.
And it’s not your fault.
You can’t always blame yourself when things don’t work out. You can’t always point to your own soul when something comes to an end. When defeat comes knocking on your door. You can’t always carry the burden of what doesn’t happen, of what didn’t work out.
Failure and disappointment don’t have to be your self-definition.
You are not responsible for the way the world moves and shifts, for how situations change, for someones choice to walk away or stop believing in something you still have faith in.
Don’t blame yourself for every little thing that doesn’t go your way.
Because life doesn’t move according to you, according to any of us. Life moves as it pleases, molding your fate, to the cosmos, to the higher powers we believe in, to the choices and circumstances and weather patterns and the universes crazy ways.
We are not in control. We cannot make every little piece of our puzzling lives come together. We cannot force people to love like we love, or feel what we feel. We cannot make each other understand the beating of our hearts, even if we fully show ourselves to them.
We cannot alter what happens in this life other than to fight for what we feel and learn, even in our brokenness, to let go, to heal.
You must be responsible for your part, but find peace in knowing there is so much that you cannot control. You must find comfort in the acceptance of what is, rather than forever seeking what could have been. You must look back and learn and look forward to hoping. You must learn to love yourself, even when your life is messy. You must shake off the heavy ness from your shoulders and be willing and open to starting again. You must allow yourself to heal and know that you are not always at fault for what happens.
Sometimes pieces of this life just don’t go the way we want them to, and perhaps in time, we will understand why.