When people get overwhelmed by deadlines at work or at school, they sometimes say I’m going crazy or I’m having a panic attack. These are such casual remarks that seem empty to others but to those who are suffering from mental illness, it a different matter.
Many people do not understand what I feels like to live with a mental disorder. Sadly out of every five individuals one person suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses.
Below is a collection of revelations and descriptions of what it live to live with mental disorder.
Maybe if people would try to learn a little more about mental illness they would have compassion and treat these individuals with love and respect.
Here are some descriptions, that were said by people who had a mental disease. I have changed the names.
- I Don’t Have Control
Mental illness feels like you’ve lost control of yourself. You don’t know who you truly are because this disease controls you and takes over your emotions. It lies to you and tells you that you are worthless. You always wonder if the things you do are your personality or the disease. And on top of the oppressing feelings, society stigmatizes you into violent, scary individuals. While very few are violent or scary they are put into that box, even if they receive treatment or prescribed medicine to cope with their disease.
A few years back I was a facilitator at a mental illness support group. I had to find places that were on side streets, basically have the group in secret or no one would come. Because they would fear what people would think of them.
This group was to help them learn to coping mechanisms that would make them live their lives fully. It was a safe haven for people who felt them feel like outcasts in society.
- I Can’t Move On
Mental illness feels like a crushing stone on your chest making it hard to breathe. It makes me feel trapped, not being able to stop the flood of past memories or the continual cycle in my head. It makes me feel helpless, alone, scared of myself, scared of everyone else, embarrassed and ashamed of who I am. – Susan
They usually have a therapist that helps them through the dark times and reminds them to take one day at a time.
- I Don’t Know Who Is The Real Me
Mental illness is faking a smile so others around you think your okay. It’s forcing yourself to get out of bed in the morning because if you don’t your anxiety will kick in. It’s hating to be alone but not having any energy to hangout with others. It’s having exhaustion but being able to sleep. It’s a constant battle with yourself, everyday, to just keep pushing forward and hoping for the better. -Gary
- I Need You To Understand Me
Sometimes I need people to just pay attention to what kind of emotions responses they need to give me when I’m in a melt down and don’t think this life is worth fighting anymore. I need someone to be there for me and think to themselves: okey she’s anxious right now, hold my hand and tell me I’m safe and everything will be okay. -Patty
- I’m Not Lazy
Getting out of bed every morning is hard. People think I’m lazy but I’m to exhausted to fight another day like yesterday. My depression has a funny was of pushing me down, I don’t want to cancel plans but when depression take hold of me, I hurt all over and am struggling to move. -Stephanie
- Don’t Judge Me Unless You Know How I Feel
Why I have self-harm scars and my history with self-harm. People see it as a teenage thing. It’s hard to explain why I self-harm and that it’s not an effective coping mechanism. But on a bad day it’s the only thing that numbs the pain. It transfers the emotional pain in to the physical and I can get a few minutes of relief. – Jane
- I Try Hard To Be Normal
When you are living with mental illness you can still be a normal functioning adult but be fighting a constant battle inside yourself. Every single step make you feel like you have concrete shoes boots on because your mind puts up mental roadblocks. Day to day activities are done, kids are taken care of and off to school, but your mind is telling you every little possible thing that could go wrong, negativity, frustration and fear all rule your thoughts. Feeling like you’re not good enough, yet you know you are. Feeling like your not good enough, yet I’m fight so hard to do as much as possible.
- I’m Not Making It Up
A lot of people don’t realize you might hear voices with major depression. It depression with psychotic tendencies. It not my inner self that’s talking to me. There different voices and sometimes they want me dead. I can’t tell people this or even talk about it because they freak out, and they will think I’m a dangerous person and avoid me. So I just fight this on my own. -Jerry
- I’m Not Strong Like You
My sadness, out of fear that others will judge me because of how minimal my problems seem to be. Little do they know these small problems are so much bigger for someone like me. I’m constantly told not to beat myself up, or that’s nothing to cry over. Sharing is hard when some people can‘t understand what it’s like being in my shoes. -Ruth
Mental illness is real, and with help and medication people can learn to cope. And live full lives. But there are instances when Dr’s can over medicate someone with a mental disorder.
It’s alway best to tell Dr and therapist’s everything.
Almost every experience I’ve had with individuals with mental disorders stem from a dysfunctional family life. Talk to people before you judge about anything.
I was very fortunate to have had my experience with mental disorder as a facilitator.
There is hope out there and you are not the only one, to feel the way you do.