One of the reasons we become stuck in suffering after many areas in our life is this: We try to change things that are beyond our control.
Perhaps we’re struggling with the dreaded feeling of having months or years of our lives stolen. We’re propelling our energy into areas outside the scope of our control, we feel powerless and our suffering is exaggerated and prolonged.
I am struggling with this right now, I’ve said before I felt like I was in a coma for years and when I woke up. I realized what a mess I’d made of my life. Sadly there is nothing I can do now. Just try to live in the present and not get stuck in the past and why things aren’t better for me. I can do this most of the time, but I still get upset why things just aren’t better.
This is a familiar message. It’s found within the lines of the Serenity Prayer:
“God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
Some days are more difficult than others. This is what I have researched about this:
Getting past this requires a cognitive shift, or changing the way we perceive and react to the situation. Accomplishing this shift involves determination what we can and not control, then accepting and letting go of those things we can’t control in order to refocus our energy on what we can.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
Maya Angelou
Ive suffered from depression for many years of my life because of my childhood. The doctors put me on medication but over-medicated me, so much I was sleeping all the time and it caused me to be very overweight. I was not a very happy person to say the least, when I was able to find a different doctor I was able to get off all the medication. And I began to actually start living while I’ve changed what I can, I still live with everything I can’t. I am still unable to get past all the regrets I have in life.
While it normal in our situations to make us feel unsettled and want to seek reconciliation or closure. We need to determine what we cannot change in any situation. We can’t control the past, we can’t control the other person’s feelings or behavior. Oftentimes we become stuck in believing that if just behave in a certain way things will better. Getting stuck requires us to ask the question, “ Am I going to continue to blame the other people in our lives for my sadness and regret and the inability to move forward, or am I going to acknowledge that it’s our responsibility to accept the reality of the situation and focus on what I can control? What you can control is working towards understanding that no matter what you say or do our past situations. We need to find closure on our own.
From Pity to Praise 