This is not an exaggeration, it a fact.
As insignificant and meaningless some assumptions may be, others can change the course of your life. And I’ve witnessed it first hand.
My father would always say, “when you assume you make an “ass out of u and me.” Those words have stuck with me all these years.
We need to make sure assumptions don’t lead to mistakes in our lives.
Assumptions Are Dangerous In Many Spectrums:
From word, business, and for our personal life. How exactly? I’ll give you the short version. But first, understand that even as I am writing this, I’m not perfect with managing assumptions either.
Just like you, I’m make assumptions. Most of them, probably subconsciously. I’m not sure it’s even realistic to try to erase all the smallest assumptions we tend to make daily, the ones that have little to no impact on out lives.
But awareness is the first step to avoiding assumptions that could cost us big time.
Because of my father never assume is one of my top core values.
Once we’re aware and consciously seeking to get ride of assumptions in our daily lives, we get to keep control of situations, we avoid communication problems, and ultimately, we drastically reduce the mistake made by ourselves, and others.
Essentially in our world today, we assume someone is a certain color and we assume they are bad. The fact is no matter what color you skin is, there is good and bad in everyone. Just because they have a different belief system does mean there terrible people.
Assumptions allow you to hide behind your version of the story. This men’s you don’t own your part in the true story. We sometimes prefer to blame others for our misfortune, rather than look in the mirror. They keep you stuck in the past.
It’s easy to make assumptions. All you need is incomplete information about a situation. And an unwillingness to ask the questions you need to complete information. In the absence of complete information, you have to fill in the blanks yourself.
You’ll fill in the blanks with your interpretation comes from past experiences that seem similar. It comes from your past experiences and also from those you’ve heard about from others.
Armed with your information. You tend to connect the dots that aren’t there. Your brain can’t help doing this because you’re missing information. Trying to make sense of the situation, you make connections between today and the past. Connections that don’t really exist. You jump to the wrong conclusions.
Have you ever heard someone say “All men are bad?”They were assuming from their past relationships. The truth is not All men are not bad. There are not bad.
How Assumptions Develop
If assumptions are incorrect when dealing with rational matters, ponder this. What happens when your emotions come into play?
All hell breaks loose. You s to emotions arrive with many sensitive buttons. These buttons are the places where you got hurt in the past. Your memory has stored this past pain. And activates it whenever your nervous system recognizes anything that feels painfully familiar.
Once activated, you react as if you’re experiencing that same pain again. Your old pain feels as real today as it did when you got hurt. Your present situation doesn’t even need to be the same as the past one that hurt you.
What Assumptions Do
Behind the harsh words that come to the surface lies the orginal hurt. And the unwillingness to step up and own part of it.
This is toxic for the people you’re lashing out at, and for you. The negative energy expressed with this can take a toll on health. Theirs and yours. And by pressing your pain buttons again and again, you deeper your hurt.
Why You Should Avoid Making Assumptions Like The Plague
1. They’re an easy out. The path of least resistance is also the path of least growth.
2. They stop you from taking responsibility for your life. Assumptions allow you to hide behind your version of the story.
3. They keep you stuck in the past. Assumptions rely on old information to fill in the blanks and connect the dots. Instead of expanding your horizons, you retreat into the past, a painful past.
4. It’s lazy behavior. Instead of asking questions to get the information you need, you jump to conclusions.
5. They foster a negative mindset. Most assumptions are derived from old information. This reinforces your innate negativity bias that dates back to prehistoric times. And it keeps you thinking the world is a hostile place.
6. Assumptions are always wrong. I have a perfect record of the assumptions I’ve made. 100% of them have been wrong. And it’s hard to believe that I’m unique in this.
Life Beyond Assumptions
These days, instead of making assumptions, I ask questions. Lots of them. Even if this means finding out a truth that might be painful to hear. If my default behavior kicks in and I start to assume something, I notice it. And nip in the bud.
Since I started asking questions and stopped making assumptions, I’m much happier. I’ve managed to release much of my past pain by not activating it constantly. I’ve grown a lot from the information I’ve gathered through asking questions. I enjoy conversations more because I’m not worried about protecting myself. I’ve deepened my compassion for others by understanding the fears that lay behind their assumptions. I’m more positive. And I’m more fun to be around.