What To Do When Your Life Is A Living Hell.

“I Hate My Life”

When these words come out of our mouth, we have two real choices.

We can choose to believe these words and accept that our live are just miserable, and changing our lives are impossible.


We can choose to believe these words and use these emotions to empower ourselves to change our lives.

It is a choice. We are not powerless to control our own lives. That’s just the thing we tell ourselves when we’re not ready or willing to step into our own personal agency.

Personal agency exists when we recognize that we have control over our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

We under that, while we cannot control the world around us or other people existing on the planet with us, we can certainly make choices that influence the outcomes of our own lives. To own our personal agency is to empower ourselves to make changes and begin to create the kind of lives we actually want to live.

There was a time I made my life a living hell, through the choices I made, my thoughts and how I treated other people. I chose not to empower myself. I just thought that was my life. A miserable existed.

External Locus Of Control

There tend to be people who look at the world with an external locus of control. This means that they see events as they are happening to them. Their focus is on how other people treat them, how outside events influence their lives, and how little control they have. This leads to feeling helpless, resentful, bitter, and frustrated.

Internal Locus Of Control

Then there are people with an internal locus of control who already have then sense of personal agency. They realize that they can only control themselves, but they also recognize the power in their personal choices. They realize that events can happen, but they chose how to respond to them. They understand that how they respond to that treatment is a choice. The internal locus of control helps people feel empowered, confident, and adaptable.

I’m sure you know individuals in each of these personal agencies. Or see it in yourself.

Owning our personal agency requires that internal locus to control. If we don’t have it, we have to learn how to develop it. While it may not be easy, the end result is a lot better than staying stuck in helplessness, envy, and bitterness that life did not turn out as we’d have liked.

When I look at the world I think most I individuals are in external locus of control in the world today. Whether it started during childhood or they were taught. or just took on the victim mentality.

We Must Recognize That We Have The Power Of Choice

Recognizing that we have choices is a powerful first step. Instead of blaming everyone else for the lives we’re living, we own that we are responsible for every choice that brought us to this point in our lives. If we don’t like where we are, we can make choices to change it.

When We Realize We Have Choices, We Stop Waiting Around For Someone Else To Fix Our Lives

That’s when we start growing.

We can choose how we react to the people and events that happen in our lives. We can decide whether or not we’re going to follow every thought train to it’s final destination or realize when it’s toxic and find a better way. We can recognize that we are responsible for our own emotions rather than blaming others for how we feel. When we struggle, we can choose whether or not we’re going to try and heal alone or we are going seek help, from God, friends, family, or professionals to help us through difficult times.

We Bring That Recognition Into How We Communicate

It’s not enough just to recognize that we have control over our actions. We can begin to bring that awareness into how we communicate. We learn healthier ways of communicating because we are no longer blaming other people for our circumstances. Instead of telling people that they made us feel a particular way, we begin to express how their behavior impacted us while taking responsibility for our own feelings. This means that we stop making our love and hate and everything in between someone else’s problem, too. We can talk about it without shifting the responsibility for choices and change over to someone else.

Take Responsibility For Your Actions. You only look like a fool when trying to blame other people for your behavior.

We have to get our priorities straight, or we will create our own he’ll on earth.

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