The whole point of a verbal attack is to unsettle you, so don’t give them the satisfaction. Stay calm, cool and collected despite any taught or insults. To do this, it halo to breathe deeply, count silently, and mentally repeat affirmations, such as “ I will remain calm.” And dismiss the person’s attack
Ways To Respond To Verbal Abuse
1. Ignore it. Ignoring verbal abuse may sound like unrealistic advice. How do you ignore someone who is screaming in your face and calling you names that make up want to give them a throat punch. Believe it or not, ignoring an attack is extremely effective because verbal abusers thrive on the way their victim responds. Their goal is to hurt you, if you are seemingly indifferent, it will trip them up or keep the abusers from getting their desired result.
2. Don’t Get Emotional. Again – it’s easier said then done. Crying, yelling, falling apart, and other emotional responses are what your abuser is after. Don’t give it to them. Rather than cry when you’re hurt by something someone said, try to focus on how screwed up they must be to treat people so poorly. Shifting your perception of what’s happening will help you to not take it personally.
3. Set Boundaries. Setting boundaries is initially difficult but with courage and consistency, it can be extremely effective. Not just in potentially changing another’s treatment of you, but also in altering your own level of confidence and self-respect. This practice will help you to develop a sense of self-worth. It’s up to you totes h people how to treat you. Try using responses like, “I won’t respond to you if you scream tame, please lower your voice.’ Or “if you continue calling me names, this conversation is over – you can communicate without name-calling.”
4. Give It Time. Letting things cool down before you attempt discourse can positively impact the overall tone and result of your discussion. Agreeing to or insisting that you give one another space for a set amount of time and then revisiting the conversation later helps to keep your responses more rational. You can say something like, “We’re both upset right now, let’s revisit this in a few hours when we’ve had a chance to calm down.”
5. Don’t Add Fuel To The Fire. Meeting crazy with crazy doesn’t help anyone – it escalates conflicts to unnecessary levels. When someone pulls all the crazy out, remain calm, cool, and collected. Don’t respond to screaming with screaming or name calling with name calling. When they go low, you go high. They may realize how belligerent their behaving and it should help to de-escalate matters to a more reasonable level.
6. Anticipate And Avoid. In verbally abusive relationships, there is an abuser and a victim and they go through a recurring and familiar cycle of abuse. The victim begins to know when an abusive attack is coming, they can feel the hostility building and they know what sets the abuser off. When this is the case, and you know an altercation is in the foreseeable future, avoid it. Go visit a family member, stay at work late, if you have children take them out, do whatever you need to do to avoid an explosive environment until the dust settles.
7. Stand Up For Yourself. There are calm and rational ways for a person to stand up for themselves without being emotional or hostile. Find ways to be assertive and confident. If someone is degrading and belittling you, it is okay to say, “Those things are untrue and it is unacceptable to say that to me.” Or “Don’t speak to me that way, I’m worth much more than that statement Implies.”
I get it, some people just want to scream obscenities at you, and won’t listen to reason. Remain silent and walk away. Even if it means staying the night a a family or friends house. Come back when they have calmed down and will listen to what you have to say.