If you’re never bold, you’ll find it hard to fight for what you believe in. Living a life true to yourself means that you have to stand up for what you believe in.
But the question is: how to be bold?
Being bold doesn’t mean smashing pens in front of your colleagues whenever the disagree with you and throwing a tantrum. Instead, you want to be respectful and assertive when you’re bold. Depending on your personality this can be challenging. But the benefits of being bold far out way the potential negative outcomes.
I’m not talking about being offended at everything you disagree with, or throwing tantrums when things go your way. If you learn the right way, you will be able to be respectful.
If standing up for yourself and being bold sounds like a nightmare to you, you’re in the right place. This post will show you why it’s important to be bold in your life, with actionable tips to get you started.
1. Find Your Values In Life
It’s much easier to be bold if you know what you stand for. Being bold and speaking up often starts from figuring out and defining your values.
There are many ways to go about this. For example, you can try to brainstorm and write down behaviors and characteristics that you vale in yourself and others. But on a more specific level, you can also write down your goals for a project your working on. If you know what you’re goals and values are, it’s easier to stand up for yourself whenever it’s needed.
The most important thing to know is to take as much time as you need and be completely honest with yourself. Keep in mind that values in different domains of life can sometimes contradict each other: you may value independence in your personal life and cooperation at work or visa-verse.
You may also find that your values don’t entirely align with those of your co-workers or role models. Don’t be discouraged if these things happen: you’re working out your own values, not someone else’s.
2. Keep Yourself Informed
While being bold and assertive is something positive, you don’t want to be known as a bold, uninformed and naive person. If that happens, being bold suddenly loses its appeal, right?
If you stand up for yourself and be bold, it’s important to be informed about whatever you’re doing. If you’re in a meeting and make a case about something that goes against others there, you better make sure you can handle a bit of resistance.
The more informed you are, the more confident you can be in taking a side or making a stand. You are also less susceptible to disrespect, hostility, and rejection if you have all the facts straightened out.
It’s important to not just look for information that supports your opinion. It’s arguably even more important to explore the counter-arguments. Why would someone disagree with what you believe in? When your properly informed about all the angles, you’ll be better able to stand up for yourself without being silenced by the opposition.
This also helps you mitigate most of the risks that come with being bold. If you’re trying to be bold without being informed, you may come across as reckless.
3. Say No
So far, we’ve talked about knowing your values and keeping yourself informed. These things are important pieces of the puzzle, but they don’t actually make you bold.
Here’s something that does help you be bolder in life, say no more often. You must realize “No” is a complete sentence.
If someone asks you something that you’re not obliged to do and don’t want to do, you can simply say ”No” and leave it at that. You do the always have to justify why you can’t make it to a party, or why you can’t work overtime on the weekends.
By becoming more comfortable with saying “No,” you’ll find it easier to be more true to yourself. Saying “No” more often is really saying “Yes” to yourself to your own life. A life that’s more meaningful for you. Whereas too much ‘Yes” can leave us drained emotionally and physically from overcommitment to others.
4. Learn To Resolve Conflicts Instead Of Avoiding Them
People may be angry or disappointed in you when you say no,Especially if they’re used to you saying yes. Emotions, even negative ones, are a natural part of human relationships. A good relationship isn’t necessary without conflict, but rather one where conflicts are resolved.
It isn’t your job or responsibility to keep others happy.
If someone is angry at you or hurt you and insulted you, address the issue. State the issue and you’re feelings about it and let the other person have their say. Use “I” statements and avoid making assumptions about how the other person might feel.
For example: “I don’t like how you made the decision without discussing it with me first.” Or “ I can see that you were angry with me. You were counting on me to come along with your plan and I didn’t.”
This is a great way to not only be bold, but also assertive and respectful towards others.
5. Tell The Truth
An important step to living a bold life is, unsurprisingly, tell the truth.
- If you don’t find something funny, then don’t laugh.
- If you don’t agree with what someone says, then don’t.
This John Lennon “sums it up very nicely:
Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it always get you the right ones.John Lennon
By not being genuine, You may get a chain reaction of dishonest approval and what you dislike, encouraging more of it in the future. In this way, you can help create an atmosphere in your life that you don’t actually like. It’s not going along with the shade of blue or the living room that you’re not actually that keen on.
6. Embrace The Discomfort
If you’ve never stood up for yourself or said no, expressing your true opinions can be scary. However, in order to grow and learn, you’ve got to get out of your comfort zone.
For example, When somebody asks you to do something and you and you answer “No”, it can feel incredibly uncomfortable to just leave it at that.
While it may be in your nature to want to explain yourself, you want to resist this urge. Don’t go on a tirade about how tired and busy you are, even if it’s true. Instead, politely say no, and leave it at that. When pressed for an exclamation, just say that you cannot do that right now.
Here are some helpful phrases to remember for the next time you want to say no:
- I cannot do that right now.
- Thank you for thinking of me but I will have to pass on that for now.
- I cannot help you right now, but I would be happy to help you next week/month/ etc.
Use the last one sparingly and only for those projects That you generally like to be a part of, but can’t right now because you’ve got too much on your plate already.
I hope by now you have a better idea of how to be bold when your life, even when it’s not in your personality. Bball may not make you the most friendly person in life, but I can help you get the respect you deserve.
Are you a bowl person by nature, or are you finding it hard to express your opinion over someone else’s?