Poison isn’t always something you are or drink – it can be an emotion. And hate is one of them, eating you up inside and causing destruction. Do you have hate in your life? There are ways to control it before it damages you or your love ones.
Hate is a very strong emotion. This mental venom can pollute your spirit, poison your soul and seep into all of the relationships that surround you. Anyone who has found themselves wrapped up in the arms of hate know how damaging and Mind consuming it can become. Even the word Carrie’s power, particularly if it comes from a friend, family member or a child.
While hate can be directed at almost anything- animals, food, jobs, movies – the most destructive is hatred toward other people.
I hated my mother for almost 35 years. I just couldn’t forgive her for what she did to me. It almost destroyed my life. Along with the hatred of my mother I also hated myself. The word hate has a lot of baggage that comes with it. Hate implies an emotional aversion often coupled with enmity or malice.
Today, I want you to ask yourself these questions:
- Does hate have a place in my life?
- Do I harbor any feelings of hatred toward myself or anyone else?
If you do, I urge you to address this negative feeling before it becomes much more dangerous. Hate, when unchecked, will drain your spirit, tarnish your soul and darken your days. It can lead to high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, and even chronic illnesses
Generally speaking, there are two kinds of hate, the kind that’s turned inward (implosion) and the kind that’s turned outward (explosion). Both of these will eat you up inside, so if you find yourself living with hate, perhaps today is a good day for a little wellness house cleaning.
Hate turned outward is both tangy and ugly. It can motivate violent crime and damaging behaviors. Rioting,, and murder, come from hate. Hatred toward anyone and the perceived rejection is fueled by desperation, insanity, and carnage that cost people their lives.
At the heart of all hatred is blame, and this is particularly true of hatred turned outward. When one feels like they’ve been seriously wronged or victimized by someone, their discontent and anger Carrie’s with it the potential seeds of hatred.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot piece of coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else, you are the one who gets burned.
The antidote for hatred is definitely within our reach. That hand that hurts other people and yourself, can also be the hand that comforts .
It’s like the story of the boy and his grandfather where the boy has two wolves inside of him (the white wolf)The first wolf has peace, love, and kindness, the other wolf (the black wolf) had fear, greed, and hatred. Which wolf will win? The one you feed.
The more you hold onto hatred, the more likely it is that hot coal of the emotion will burn you. And if you feed it, the stronger it becomes.
However, you can control the feeling that lead to hatred. If we change our mindset we can counter the emotions of hatred.
Here’s the way I learned to counter hate to get rid of this destructive emotional assault.
- H- Healing
- A- Aggressive
- T- Thoughts
- E- Emotionally
Consider these steps to diffuse your hatred:
1. When you begin to feel hateful thoughts, stop, and take a deep breath, let it out very slowly and repeat this process for five repetitions.
2. Consciously challenge your irrational hatred thoughts.
3. Replace those hateful irrational thoughts with calmer rational thought.
4. If your feeling are directed at another person, limit your contact with this person.
5. Employ a “distraction strategy” to refocus your mind – watch a movie, listen to music, go for a walk, read a book, exercise.
I find that when I start to hate someone I get my Bible and start reading before too long my hatred is defused.
Are You The Object Of Hate?
If you’ve ever been the target of hatred, you know how upsetting, frightening, and emotional it can be. Actually, since the overall effects of hatred are so physically harmful and emotionally devastating, perhaps we should think of hatred as another type of. “H- Bomb.”
H-bombs are Hydrogen bombs that generate most of the energy the produce from something called “nuclear fission.” In addition to producing energy, nuclear fission is also what ignites the initial explosion of a nuclear weapon.
In a similar way, hatred produces energy for destructive power. And the fission – what actually ignites the explosion- is driven by the intense hostility, fear, anger, or sense of injury the person feels.
When you’re confronted by this kind of extreme dislike, you basically have two choices regarding your response:
- You can either sink to the hater’s level and toss a few H-bombs of your own.
- Recognize this behavior as a character flaw and not respond to it.
Too often, we turn our feeling of dislike on ourselves, which is equally damaging. Hate turned inward can crush your spirit and impact your health. Take overeating, for example, which many say is a symptom of self-hatred. By compulsively overeating, you’re actually making yourself sick, putting on unhealthy weight and contributing to a feeling of unattractiveness- all of these forms to self-punishment.
Overeating however, is only one way that self-hatred manifests itself. Being your under the influence of hate, some people are driven to injure or cut themselves, engage is risky behaviors and cut off those who live them.
Self-haters are driven to punish themselves for a variety of reasons, such as feeling insecure, guilty, alone, unattractive, unproductive or self-critical. These negative, internal feeling shape and give life to the destructive impulses of self-hatred.
Self-hatred is characterized by a dislike for oneself and, often, low self-esteem. What’s particularly difficult about self-hate is that we cannot avoid the hater.
I see self-hatred as a corrosive virus of the mind. It weakens you emotionally and makes your body more vulnerable to sickness and disease by compromising your immune system. The antidote for self-hate, it to refer to the story of the grandfather and the boy. You simply have to stop feeding it!
So, how do we do this? We just forgive ourselves for whatever it is that caused this toxic and inflicted emotional wound. I started by actually writing myself a letter of forgiveness. Write it for a real or imagined offense, just as you would if you were forgiving as if a dear friend.
I also wrote one for my mother, and took it to her gravestone with a helium balloon and let it go. Sadly I was not able to forgive her when she was living.
If your going to do this. Here are a few guidelines as you compose the letter:
- Write it out by hand to make it more personal.
- Be honest and very specific about your hatred – what is it about?
- Take responsibility for this hatred and explain why it’s unfair and unjust.
- Forgive yourself and others for this hatred. You have felt.
- Express in detail what you’ve learned from this hatred, make a written promise to be kinder to yourself and others and end your letting by stirring “I￼ love you.” ♥️
You can keep the letter (s) or burn them and give them away. My sending my mothers letter with a helium balloon helped me to forgive my mother. If the person is living and you give them the letter, know you will probably have to face them and hate a discussion. If your still feeling weak, I don’t suggest giving the person the letter. Burn it or keep it.
Hate, whether turned inward or outward creates a destructive state of mind the wreaks havoc with your physical health and emotional well-being. And like a hot coal, the sooner you rid yourself of this toxic emotion, the less damage it can do and the healthier and happier you’ll be.
Feed hatred and it will grow. Confront it understand it and disassemble it and You will grow.
Make today the day you address this darkness and let the sunshine in.