What bores you?
Small talk is boring to me, but then I thought of something. Maybe small talk is essentially checking out the other person or whether people are interested in talking or not. We either have an opportunity to give short answers or reply with standard phrases which signals our disinterest in something without being rude. It is a ay to scope people out.
The other person will think they have interesting things to talk about. But if it’s something you’re just not interested in.
To me, small talk is superficial and lacks deep thought and emotion. But I’m aware avoiding small talk cuts me off from meaningful social interactions. I never learned any social skills, but I always thought people would never understand what was going on at home if I let them get too close. Which led to my complicated social navigating skills in social settings, and also played a role in my introverted tendencies.
From Pity to Praise 
I totally relate to what you said about small talk. It often feels like a dance around the real issues, and I can see how it can feel superficial. It’s interesting to consider it as a way to gauge connection, but it can definitely put up walls too. I’ve also found myself navigating these social situations with caution, especially when it’s hard to share deeper things. It’s a complicated balance, for sure!
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I put up a wall for years, as a defense mechanism but it seems not only protected me from things I don’t want to feel but shielded me from the things I want to feel also.
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