Overcoming My Fears

My fears came from my childhood. My mother would tells me, I as worthless, I was stupid, I would never amount to anything, that people judged me because of it. That I was meant to be seen and not heard. She would use fear to control me. It taught me to trust no-one because they would judge me.

As an adult I thought everything I did and said had to be perfect or not at all. I feared people paying attention to me, I would rather stay in the background and let others take the credit for my hard work. I internalized shame, because I believed my core was fundamentally flawed, broken, unworthy and an accident.
When God found me I had hit rock bottom, I had a choice to end it all or trust that God would pull me up out of the dark pit I had fallen into again. I had to change my entire perspective. I had to let go of the bitterness and unforgiveness, I felt for my mother.
Today I still deal with the damage my mother caused. The anxiety that comes from social interactions, the lack of trust I feel towards people.
Everyday I choose to override my fear because action cures anxiety.