Words have great power. They can heal a heart or break it. They can build trust or tear it down.
I like to call these three questions, the 3 gates of speech.
I have learned over the years to pause for a moment and check my words before I speak I ask myself three questions:
- Is it true? Do I know this for a fact, or is it just a guess? Spreading false news hurts people. People often twist their words to make a better story. If something is false or unproven stop right there. Do not share it.
- Is it necessary? I ask myself if I want to say this right now. Not every thought needs a voice. Always protect your peace. Pointless complaints or petty comments add stress to any room. If the information does not help, teach, or heal, then keeping it to yourself is a wise choice.
- Is it kind? I think about others. How will my words feel to another person hearing them? Am I trying to help, or am I trying to hurt? If it needs to be said is there a way to soften the delivery? Even true and important words can cause pain if not said correctly. Kindness doesn’t mean you hide the truth. It means you deliver with truth, care, and respect.
These three questions have gotten me out of a lot of potential trouble. Using these three questions has changed how I live. When we slow down our reaction, we speak more with care.
When we filter our speech through truth, necessity, and kindness, we create less regret in our lives, and that brings more peace to ourselves.
“Those who guard their lips guards their soul. One who opens wide their lips comes to ruin. Proverbs 13: 3
From Pity to Praise 