To Hell And Back

Life is indeed, funny and unexpected.

Thinking back to when I was a little girl, I never dreamed of being , locked away in a closet, ignored, been, sexually molested, have 3of my brothers pass away from suspicious activity. Several suicide attempts, along with a emotionally neglecting marriage.

Thinking about it now, it’s hard to imagine everything I’ve been through. Through mental illness an alcoholic father. It seemed like the Devil was going to take me out at every turn. I was a small frame little girl with, no care, no love, and no friends.

Alone in the world from the get go. At the age of three, I spend 3 months in the hospital for malnutrition, and again at 5 from second degree burns on my body.

Thinking about it now, it’s seems like I’ve been fighting for survival all my life.

Through life’s many interventions, we experience chaos, mental wreckage, physical desertion, and are left with just this emptiness. It is when we’re at the end of our rope and we have nothing left to give.

Misery Loves Company.

When I was at my lowest, when I couldn’t take any more of my destructive behavior. It’s amazing I was able to save myself. I managed to fight my battles all alone, it seemed.

I know the pit of hell I was in.

I know how far I have come as a woman, daughter, wife, friend and human being.

I have fought through bitterness, hate, anger, desolation, depression, anxiety, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and so much more. I managed to learn how to be my own support system when I felt like no one else was on my side.

If your searching for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror. This is your life. So, you need to be the one to decide to take control of it. No one else will want to help you if you can’t help yourself. No, it will not happen overnight. It will likely feel like a every day battle, and for some, it is. That’s okay. When you wake up every day and choose you. Be your own cheerleader. You have to prove your worth to yourself, not anyone else. Never be ashamed of your story, because it will inspire others. Your life will inform in proportion to your courage.

We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work for both is the exact same. So, it’s up to you which one you want to be. The quote “good things come to those who wait,“ is a bunch of crap. Good things come to those who work their butts off and never give up.

Everyone breaks down temporarily, but always pick yourself back up along with the pieces, rebuild, and come back stronger than ever.

I love the person I’ve become because I’ve fought like hell, and walked through hello become her.

Dealing With Uncertainty

Uncertainty is a difficult thing to bear. We want to know where the provision is going to come from or if we’re going to die of a disease or how our child is going to turn out or if our job will still be there next month.

In Luke 9: 57-58, Jesus made it clear that His disciples must be able to bear uncertainty if they were to follow Him.

“I will follow you wherever you go.”

I’m sure whoever made this public declaration to Jesus was sincere. They had likely hear Him preach and seen Him perform amazing signs and wonders. As Jesus’s fame increased, so did the number of His would be disciples.

What the person might not have know was that at that moment Jesus was homeless. Jesus and His cohort were traveling south from Galilee. He had set His face to go to Jerusalem, where His resolute purpose was to die. But to get there He had to travel through Samaria.

There was a lot of bad blood between the Jewish people and and Samaritans. More precisely, Samaritan had the bad blood. They were the result of centuries of intermarriage and religious syncretism between Jews and Israel’s former Gentile conquerors.

“Uncertainty is only apparent uncertainty. Our future and our provision and our ultimate triumph are certain to God.”

Over the centuries the Samaritans had developed their own version of the scriptures and built their own temple on their own mountain. Their beliefs were defective distortions of Jewish orthodoxy. Therefore, the Jews had “no dealings with Samaritans” or vice verse. (John 4:9)

But Jesus had made a bit of a name for Himself among the Samaritans. For a Jew, Jesus spoke with and about Samaritans with unprecedented kindness and compassion. In fact, in the town of Sychar He had spoken with a woman of questionable reputation and as a result she and many from that town believed Jesus was the Messiah. (John 4:1-42) Be that as it may, Jesus was turned away from a Samaritan town when He attempted to make lodging arrangements there. If His face was set toward Jerusalem, He wasn’t welcome.

This really ticked off the disciples. The Samaritans weren’t just heretics. They were ingrates. James and John wanted to burn the town off the map.

But, Jesus hadn’t come to judge the world. He had came to save it. (John 12:47) So He simply moved on without any place to stay the night.

So when an adoring fan announced his desire to follow Him anywhere, Jesus deglamorized things a bit by replying, “Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of man has nowhere to lay his head.” (Luke 9:58)

God doesn’t tell us how that person responded because what’s important is the implied question: can you bear uncertainty? Can you bear not knowing how God s going to provide for your most urgent needs and still trust that He will?

“Can you bear not knowing how God is going to provide for your most urgent needs and still trust that He will?

It is a question that Jesus wants all of His disciples to wrestle with. There are simply going to be times when we don’t know where the provision is going to come from. Circumstances will look precarious, sometimes foreboding and threatening. Plans are going to fall through. People are going to disappoint us. They may reject or misunderstand our mission. If these things happened to Jesus, we should not be surprised when they happen to us. And we are not to become angry when they do. If fact Jesus rebuked James and John for their response to the Samaritans. (Luke 9:55)

You Can Take Heart

Jesus does not want us to be governed by fear at such times. He wants us governed by faith. The reason is that the uncertainty is only apparent uncertainty. Our future and our provision and out triumph are certain to God. He has all the fore-knowledge, power, resources, and desire to turn everything for good for those who love Him and are called by Him. (Romans 8:28)

Apparently uncertain seasons are usually the most powerful God – moments we experience. They often put God on display more than other seasons. Demonstrating that God exists and rewards those who seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)

So if you are in one of those seasons, take heart. You are likely experiencing what it means to have a God “who acts for those who wait for Him.” (Isaiah 64:4)

A Thorn In The Flesh

What is a “Thorn in the Flash”?

A “thorn in the flesh” is something given to us by God to keep us from becoming conceited. It can feel uncomfortable, like torment, or a form of torture, but God does not torture his children

Kristi Walker

God helps us! His help can come in the form of discipline and trials, but His purpose is always to strengthen us and conform us into the image of Christ. “We are given thorns that significantly weaken us in order to make us stronger,” Jon Bloom

Paul’s ‘Thorn in the Flesh’ Verses in Scripture

“… in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I [Paul] was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, in insults, in difficulties. For when I am week, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

Paul’s Many Reasons to Boast

The Apostle Paul had reasons to boast and be conceited. He lists these in 2 Corinthians 11:21-28.

He was a Hebrew, an Israelite, and a descendant of Abraham, plus a servant of Christ. He worked harder that most, was imprisoned more frequently, flogged more severely, exposed to death repeatedly, beaten more harshly, stoned, and shipwrecked on three different occasions. He had faced danger from traveling, from non-Jews, from false believers, in cities, in the country, and at sea. He had gone without rest and seep, known hunger and thirst, and had been cold and naked. He faced daily pressure and concern for all the churches, spiritual weakness, and temptation to sin. He suffered all of this for the sake of Christ.

In addition, he was greatly used of God to change the world and received many visions and revelations from the Lord. He was after all, the great Apostle Paul. He encountered the resurrected Christ, wrote more books in the Bible than anyone else, transversed over 10,000 miles throughput Asia Minor, Greece, and later to Rome, planted and established many churches, and was arguably the greatest and most inspiring missionary of all time.

It would have been quite easy for Paul to become conceited. Consider how easy it is for you and me to become conceited, and we have accomplished a good deal less that Pail.

Paul’s Thorn in the Flesh

We do not know exactly what Paul’s thorn in the flesh was, although many theories exist. Some believe it was a disease, an eye condition, a fleshy temptation, singleness, a speech impediment, etc. It could have been any number of the sufferings he listed in 2 Corinthians 12:7.

Based on that description, one logical theory is that Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” was the issue of the “super-apostles” he referenced in chapter 12.

“There we’re false teachers, claiming to be apostles, who had entered the church,’ “They promoted their own ideas at the same time sought to discredit both the person and the message of the apostle. Second Corinthians was written to defend the authenticity of both his apostleship and his message.”

Since these false apostles were a primary reason for Paul’s writing of the epistle of 2 Corinthians, it seems to be a decent guess. Plus, it would be fitting to refer to them as “messengers of Satan.” Since Paul did not explicitly tel, us, wondering believers will have to ask in eternity.

Why Didn’t God Remove Paul’s ‘Thorn in the Flesh’?

The apostle Paul pleaded three times with the Lord to take away his “thorn in the flesh.” We can all relate to this. Is there anything in your life life that you have prayed about repeatedly? Is there any circumstance you have petitioned God to change that Go’s might be allowing the suffering or trial to continue intentionally? That’s how is was for Paul.

God’s answer to Paul’s pleas was “no.” Maybe, in time, God did remove Paul’s thorn, but we don’t know that. Given what we know from the Bible, God denied Paul’s request. Instead, God answered “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Why Did God say ‘My Grace is Sufficient’?

What is Grace? Grace is unmerited or unearned favor, gifts, and blessings. God’s grace was not only enough for Paul but it is also enough for us!

Paul responded to God’s answer, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weakness, insults, in hardship, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong,” (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)

Have you ever stood on the shore of an ocean or lake and experienced the waves repeatedly lapping against the sand or earth? How often do the waves hit the shore? Depending on the strength of the wind, it could be anywhere from 4 to 15 waves per minute.

Now, have you ever considered how often God’s grace touch’s your life? The answer is constantly, or as John 1:16 says, “from His fullness we have all received grace upon grace.”

We know that God’s grace was enough for Paul. He summed up his entire life’s purpose this way:

“ I consider my,I’ve worth nothing to me/ my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord has given me – the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” (Acts 20:24)

Whatever Paul’s thorn was, God’s power was perfect, and God’s grace was sufficient!

The Widow’s Oil

We often feel powerless to change our circumstances. When a spouse loses a job. A parent has a life changing health crisis and requires extra help.

We can learn from 2 Kings in the a Bible. The widow understood these seasons. She faced a season of loss as she mourned the death of her husband. It was difficult to be a woman without a husband in those times. Waking up every day, she felt alone and abandoned in her circumstances.

She was in a season of emptiness. Without a partner to share in the day to day decisions of parenting, she was a single mother trying to raise her children without enough income to provide. The widow lived in a season of threat. A lender was on his way to collect, and if it wasn’t about money, it was going to be her children, with the intent to make them slaves. She felt powerless to keep her children from a life she didn’t want for them.

Like the widow, in our seasons of loss, emptiness or threat, we can focus on our misfortunes instead of counting our blessings. Her misfortune was lack of income. Her blessing, was a little bit of oil. We, too, have blessings in our season of “Now What?” During this time, it is difficult to look past the problems were facing and notice the blessings.

But when we look beyond our present circumstances. God helps us see our blessings. We, like the widow, can look at our little bit and say, “It’s plenty.” With a small amount of faith, the widow poured and poured until every jug and bowl was filled with oil.

God knew the exact amount of oil the widow needed to cancel her debts. He took her little bit of oil and used it to not only change the course of her life, but the lives of her children. God knows what we need. He will take whatever small amount we have and multiply it to be exactly what we lack. The on,y thing we must do is offer ourselves as empty jugs and allow God to pour into us what we need during this season.

I sometimes go to my bed weeping about how powerless I feel. I’m sure many have done this also. Ask God to tell you how to overcome it? God knows exactly what we need. And never fails to provide that help.

Renew Your Mind

There are words floating through our minds at all times; some are good and purposeful, and others are not. Our mental monologue generally contains too much self-focused and self defeating babble. Like, “What a stupid thing to say.” Did they just ignore me? Am I that easily forgotten? “ I’m going do to that, don’t you think I can get away with that?” And on it goes. It’s exhausting.

Our mind sometimes need a refresher. Maybe you will benefit from this steps.

1. Ask the Lord to guard and direct your mind. Our mind is a place of intellect, reasoning, and intentions; our behavior begins in our mind, and our mind is where spiritual transformation happens. (Romans 12:2) The object of our regular thinking determines how our days, years, and ultimately our lives turn out. Everything starts in the mind.

Too often, we simply don’t bother to ask for the Lord’s protection, direction, and oversight in our minds. Starting now begin your day with a simple prayer: “Father God, by your Holy Spirit keep my mind firmly set where you want it to be focused today.

2. Recognize the source of self-focused and self-defeating thoughts. Given that your behavior begins in our mind, and our mind is where spiritual transformation happens, it is any surprise that the adversary wants to mess with our thinking? It must be his favorite first attempt to distract and disarm believers, and it usually works.

I have experienced periods of mental oppression that seemed almost physical. A feeling of heaviness accompanies my self-defeating thoughts. Most of the time, I realize that I’m engaged in a spiritual battle of some sort, but I cannot immediately free myself of it. I pray. I confess, I read God’s word. I pray some more. ( it’s should be noted that it’s not clinical depression)

Eventually my mind is unencumbered, but it’s not because I thought positively enough or talked myself out of it. That may work temporarily, but it won’t root the problem. I know who the enemy is, and I also know the only one who can defeat him.

Recognizing the enemy,and fighting him with God’s power and scriptural truth.

3. Replace self-focused thinking with a God-focused mindset. After praying for the Lord to protect my mind and recognizing the enemy, we have a choice. Will we train our brain to concentrate on thE things of God, or will we let it be consumed by the things of this world.

To focus our mind on God requires some work. If you don’t take purposeful action to set your mind on God, then your allowing your mind to go anywhere it wants to go. You know where it will go, and it’s nowhere good.

We should know ourselves so, even when your fully confident of God’s love and care, we still must decide what we will and will not think about.

The following Verse have helped me to set my mind on things above and not on earthly things.

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:1-2)

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. (Romans 8:5)

Finally, brother/ sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)

4. Rest in the truth that you are accepted in Christ Jesus. I pray for the Lord to protect my mind, help me recognize the enemy, and work to keep my mind focused on God. Sometimes I will be successful, and sometimes I will not be. Over time. It’s good to know it will be more often the former.

These are days when we can rest in the truth, that we are at peace with God, and that we’re free from accusation, and that we are God’s children.

Through faith in Jesus, we are at peace with God. “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Christ Jesus.” (Romans 5:1)

In Christ, we are free from accusation. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1)

In Christ, we are children of God and heirs along with Jesus.

“The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs – heirs of God and fellow heirs with Jesus. (Romans 8: 16-17)

Our identity in Christ is the central fact that influences our present circumstances and determines our eternal future, and it is available by faith a,one. Don’t doubt, don’t wonder, and don’t question it.

Accept God’s Gracious Gift, And Rest In It.

5. Repeat steps 1-4 daily. By using these five steps, I hope that the next time you feel stupid, ignored, or question your ability. You will learn to test your thinking. God doesn’t condemn us, so know that thoughts of self-condemnation are not from Him. There is no fear in God’s love, so when you feel afraid or defeated, We can safely ignore those thoughts.

Ultimately, God want us to be transformed to be like His Son, Jesus. Jesus did not engage in the types of mental machination that I’ve described He – He was totally focused on the will of His father. Because that was true of Him, it will increasingly be true of you, and someday, that work will be completed.

Living Alive In Christ

Have you ever looked at a verse from the Bible and thought to yourself, there’s no way I could do that! Colossians 2 is one such verse. “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (Colossians 2:3)

At first glance, this one verse seems completely out of touch with those of us who have to pay attention to everyday things on earth. Things like taking care of kids, cleaning house, working a full time job, or even driving. How are we supposed to set our mi;do on things that are above when the things on earth are so urgent and necessary?

So often it’s too easy to take one Bible verse at a time and give it a cursory glance. When we read Scripture with that approach, we seldom arrive at any conclusions the author intended. To best understand the meaning of a passage, it important to understand the context.

The context for Colossians 3 is the rest of the argument, the rest of the letter, the rest of the New Testament and the rest of the Bible. There’s a grand story behind Paul’s exhortation in Colossians and we need to interpret the passage properly.

When Paul wrote his letter to the Colossians, he often reminded his readers of the big picture. The first few sentences in Colossians 3 are a brilliant example of this big picture reminder. When Paul reminds us of what Christ has done in the past, is doing today and will do tomorrow, it makes exhortation like “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things” resound with joy filled simplicity. Remembering that we have died and risen with Christ, that our live are hidden with Him, and that He’s coming back for us, will make it so much easier to fill our minds with thoughts of Him and the life He wants for us.

Even in the midst of our urgent earth-bound tasks, our minds can be preoccupied with Jesus, the beauty of His character,the astonishing mercy of what He’s done for us. His patient work in the world today and the mind-boggling reality of what He promised to do in the future.

God Is A Just God

God is just – What does it mean?

The Bible tells us that God is just. This means that He is fair and impartial. It also means that He hate the ill-treatment and oppression of people and of nature, which He has created. He hates lying, cheating, and other forms of mistreatment of others. The fact that God is just means that He can and will judge in accordance with His standards.

Many times in the Bible God is pictured as a judge. The Bible says that He will one day judge the world. Many of us shy away from the thought of Hod as a judge because the examples of justice that we see on earth are flawed: some judges are corrupt and, even when their intentions are good, they can make mistakes. However, the fact that God is just assures us that when He acts as a judge, He will administer justice perfectly. His ability to do this involves other aspects/attributes of His character. Including His ability to discern the truth in every situation and see into our hearts and minds. His wisdom, His strength, His authority, and His moral character in establishing what it right and wrong.

A God who did not care about the difference between right and wrong and did not judge humans for acting one way or the other would not be admirable of being worthy of our love or trust. The fact that God is just and will judge between right and wrong gives ultimate moral significance to our lives and makes us accountable to our lives and makes us accountable for our actions.

If there is an all-powerful, all knowing Supreme Being who is inherently just and who will act as our judge, what does this mean for humans like you and me? It means that our actions on earth and our attitudes toward God will be ultimately judged. This is a very serious concern since we have fallen short of God’s perfect standards and we must pay the penalty for those shortcomings. (Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23) Fortunately, we also know that God is a God of mercy. In His mercy, He has provided a way for us to be reconciled with Him and to meet His standards. He has provided a substitute who was willing to pay our penalty if we are willing to accept that arrangement. He did this through the death of His son, the penalty we would have to pay for our wrongdoing. (Romans 3:24) All we have to do is accept this substantial. Then the God who is both just and merciful will forgive and forget our shortcomings. The Bible tells us He will even accept us and treat us as Hid children and His heirs. When God presented His Son Jesus as a substitute to pay the penalty for our wrong doing, the Bible says He did it to demonstrate His justice.. so as to be just and the one who justice those who have faith in Jesus. (Romans 3:26)

God is Just- What does this mean after I have accepted His sons Sacrifice?

Once you have been reconciled to God and He sees you as one of His children, the fact that God is just means that He wants you to be just and act justly. The prophet Micah summed this up by saying ‘What does the Lord require of you, but to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly before your God? (Micah 6:8) Repeatedly throughout the Bible God warns His people to treat others fairly, particularly those who may be in less fortunate situations such as widows, orphans, the poor, and or strangers. Jesus’s teachings go even further, telling us to love one another and to do good to those who mistreat us. (John 13:34, Luke 6:28-28)

The.fact that God is just can also provide you with peace when your dealing with difficulties in your life or witnessing painful injustice. You can be confident that God’s justice will ultimately prevail. The fact that the all-powerful and all knowing God is also just means that evil will ultimately be dealt with authorItatively and decisively.

God is Just – If God is just, why do we see so much unfairness in the world?

Where we see injustice on earth, it is that at the hands of men, not of God. God has given men free will, but most men do not exercise it responsibly or in a way that lines up with God’s character as a just God. The time will come when God will judge the world and the people in it. He will dispose evil and injustice and He will punish those who have turned away from Him and His standards. However, in His wisdom, He is not doing that yet. The apostle Peter tells us that God is waiting because He is patient and wants everyone to have an opportunity to accept His Son’s sacrifice rather than paying the penalty that justice requires for their sins. (2 Peter 3:9)